Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... A Star Wars Trailer!

Sasha: So there we were, not watching something called Monday Night Football.
Ariel: Def not.
Sasha: I mean, we did know there was supposed to be a Star Wars trailer at halftime, but the BF said it would be on the Internet, like, seconds after it was on at halftime.
Ariel: Which I had to say, but how many seconds? It's not like a billion seconds wouldn't be "seconds" after halftime.
Sasha: This is true, but I think if it was going to be years and years, he'd have said "years and years" instead of thinking of it as a billion seconds.
Ariel: I still wanted him to be more specific. And I think it was mean of Elle to say, "If you're worried about it, just sit through the first half of the football game and you'll be sure to see it absolutely as soon as possible."
Sasha: Yeah. I'm pretty sure half of a football game is super-close to a billion seconds. Or that it would feel like that anyway.
Ariel: From what I hear, you're probably right ... but maybe we should watch part of one and blog about the experience just to be sure.
Sasha: Nope. Missed our chance. When's the next time a Star Wars movie will have a trailer in the middle of a football game?
Ariel: I dunno ... a billion seconds from now?
Sasha:Anyhooo. It's true we ended up not really waiting that much. Basically, the very first time we went to Youtube and tried, there it was.
Ariel: Star Wars!!!
Sasha: Mm-hmm. Only once the logo went away, I was like, okay, trees.
Ariel: And bushes and leaves, but yeah, a bunch of trees, and then when something happens, we're like ...
Sasha: Who's that?
Ariel: I dunno. Now someone's talking, but who?
Sasha: No idea.
Ariel: And who's this dude?
Sasha: Beats me, but now there's a whole screen full of people I never saw before.
Ariel: Wait, wait, was that Shiny Butler Bot in one corner?
Sasha: Was it? They changed scenes too fast. Now there's some Asian lady. Is she important?
Ariel: Who knows? There are people behind her looking at her, but I don't know what that means because I don't know who they are? Are they somebodies? Are they nobodies?
Sasha: Hey, though! It's I-Don't-Know Guy and another I-Don't-Know Guy and -- Shower Buddy Monkey!
Ariel: We know him!
Sasha: Yes! Oop, but now we're back to this girl we don't know.
Ariel: And here comes a guy we don't know.
Sasha: But he's got a red sword, so he's bad, right?
Ariel: Maybe?
Sasha: Now there's a sort of familiar voice talking while we're looking at a chair.
Ariel: It's not Wise Old Gnome-Toad, is it? No, it sounds too evil.
Sasha: Sort of like Big Space Politician after Bald Toughie messed his face up.
Ariel: Hey, yeah! And here come I-Don't-Know Girl, I-Don't-Know Guy, and Another I-Don't-Know Guy with Shower Buddy Monkey and Shiny Butler Bot! That's like, two out of five people in a scene we know!
Sasha: And now some robots we don't know, and ... uh-oh, they're all gathered round while Shiny Butler Bot sounds like he's giving a Big Death Scene Speech.
Ariel: Nooo, don't kill Shiny Butler Bot! He's like half the people we still know!
Sasha: I think that's exactly what the Rolling Bleepster is saying right there.
Ariel: Now who's this old chick hugging I-Don't-Know Girl?
Sasha: I don't know, and now she's gone again, and there's more talking by a different voice that also sounds kinda familiar.
Ariel: Followed by Red-Sword-Maybe-a-Bad-Guy and I-Don't-Know Girl teaming up to destroy ... what is, that, a ball return at a space bowling alley?
Sasha: It got destroyed too quick. I couldn't tell. Do you think in Star Wars the one thing good guys and bad guys can agree on is bowling sucks?
Ariel: Does it suck?
Sasha: How should I know? But they sure seemed to not like it.
Ariel: True
Sasha: Now some stuff-stuff-stuff about destiny and the Force ... and, done.
Ariel: WHERE WAS EVERYBODY!!!
Sasha: Like Darth Vader! And Han Solo!
Ariel: Cinnabon-hair Girl! Wise Old Gnome-Toad!
Sasha: Mom-Killing-Twin-Number-One, a.k.a. Farmboy Luke?
Ariel: Were they some of the voices?
Sasha: Is it so far in the future that now Cinnabon-hair Girl is Huggy Old Chick?
Ariel: I guess she might have changed her hair.
Sasha: Hmmm. So how do we feel?
Ariel: I'm confused! But excited!
Sasha: "That's what she said."
Ariel: No, that's what I said ... oh, wait, I get it. Well, what did you think?
Sasha: I'm excited and confused.
Ariel: We obviously need to watch these next four movies and then look at this thing again.
Sasha: Yep. Bring on Episode V!
Ariel: With any luck it will be my second-favorite thing with a "V" in it.
Sasha: Fingers crossed!
Ariel and Sasha: Okay, everybody, may the Force be with you!


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