Ariel: I have been waiting for this movie so long.
Sasha: Really? Because it's only been a few months since we watched those other Indiana Jones movies.
Ariel: Well, sure, but remember how good the first movie was when we watched it?
Sasha: Really? Because it's only been a few months since we watched those other Indiana Jones movies.
Ariel: Well, sure, but remember how good the first movie was when we watched it?
Sasha: Do you mean the first first movie or the first movie we watched? Since we watched them backwards.
Ariel: The first first one, duh, the one that was the best movie ever in all history.
Sasha: Okay, so obviously I remember that. I just wanted to make sure you weren't talking about Location of the Crystal Skull, because even though I liked that one, I thought it was maybe possible you might think I didn't remember how good I thought it was because of all the crazy quality shenanigans of the other three movies. So that would explain you asking if I remembered how good the movie was.
Ariel: Whoops, sorry. I didn't mean to be so confusing.
Sasha: Well, you're doing an extra good job at it, because I'm still confused about why you say you've been waiting for this movie so long.
Ariel: But that's easy! The first first Indiana Jones movie was SO GOOD that I was obviously waiting my whole life to see it, even though I didn't know it existed. And this movie is the first sequel to that movie that I've had to wait for, since all the other sequels we watched beforehand. And since I was waiting my whole life to see the first first one, obviously I would be dying to see a sequel to it, so really I've been waiting my whole life to see this movie too.
Sasha: Okay ... I think I almost understood that. I'm kind of scared to ask, though ... does that mean you were disappointed in this one? Because I didn't think it was as good as the first first one, which seems like it wouldn't really be enough of a payoff for a movie you've been waiting your whole life for.
Ariel: How could I be disappointed? It was never going to be as good as the first first one, but it was so much better than Thimble of Doom or Hunt for the Jesus Mug. I think it's maybe about the same level of awesome as Location of the Crystal Skull, even though it didn't have any mind-blowing scenes of how unrealistic real history was. But the ENDING of this movie was just the BEST EVER. Maybe even better than the ending of the first first one ... although those words maybe sound almost sacredlicious coming out of my mouth.
Sasha: Sacredli-- um, do you mean sacrilegious?
Ariel: I don't know. Do I? What's sacri...whatchious?
Sasha: Sacrilegious means something is like, a big insult or a super offensive thing to say or do because it's so against some religion.
Ariel: Oh, then yeah, that's what I meant. Actually, it's kind of a relief I had that word wrong because I was really wondering how you could put the word "sacred" together with the word "delicious" and have it be something awful.
Sasha: Maybe if you were wondering that, you could have looked it up in a dictionary ... or asked, I mean, just about anybody here. Like, if I know the right word, it's a total lock that Hettie or MSG or Claire knows it too, along with Elle, probably. Maybe not Akane, since she doesn't even speak English as her first language.
Ariel: No, but she knows a lot of great words for somebody who's still learning English.
Sasha: True. Of course considering you just found out what "sacrilegious" is, you're kinda still learning English too.
Ariel: Whoosh. She's doing a lot quicker job of it than I am, then.
Sasha: Speaking of doing a lot quicker job ...
Ariel: What? Oh! Right, we need to get to talking about the movie. Everybody put your spoiler blankets over your heads!
Sasha: Unless you want parts of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny spoiled for you.
Ariel: Which you totally don't!
Sasha: Darn right, they don't. Now, I totally want to know why you say the ending of this movie might be even better than the ending of the best movie ever made in all of history.
Ariel: Well, I don't know if I'm totally saying that, but the reason I'm thinking about maybe saying it is ... you know how the first first movie ends with Marion and Indy on the steps of that building and Indy is all P.O.ed about the government taking away the Big Box Of Nazi-Melting?
Sasha: Yes. And then it shows they crated it up and stored it in a warehouse somewhere.
Ariel: Only that bit was kind of anti-climactic for me, because we already knew it was going to end up in a warehouse because we saw it in the warehouse at the start of Location of the Crystal Skull.
Sasha: Oh, right, we did!
Ariel: So basically, the first first movie ends with a more or less happy romancy ending for Indy and Marion, because even though he's grumpy about his Nazi-melting box getting taken, she says she's going to buy him a drink or something, and we know she's fun when she dirnks. Only we also know they're not actually going to stick together for very long, so it's not all that happy of an ending. And then, you know, again, the very end ending is just showing us something else we already knew, which is where the Most Dangerous Box Ever got squirreled away.
Sasha: I may be starting to see where you're going with this.
Ariel: Also, the big finale of the action part of the movie was pretty much just our good guys tied to a post keeping their eyes closed while all the Nazis got melt-ified. All of that was really awesome ... but also, you know, it's kind of a bummer that the most heroic thing they could do was squeeze their eyes shut really tight and ignore all the screams and melty-Nazi sounds going on around them.
Sasha: Yeah, it was super dramatic but also pretty creepy. Maybe the least fun part of the movie even though it was also maybe the most meaningful part.
Ariel: Which is why the ending of this movie was so terrific! It wasn't as creepy-shocking-scary-bonkers, but the whole last action part was totally fun in an AMAZING way but also really dramatic because it seemed like Indy might not come back, and then he does, because of a super-funny thing the dynamite chick does, and once he's back ... that scene with Marion!
Sasha: Such a good scene!
Ariel: Like, earlier in the movie when he's telling Dynamite Girl why he and Marion did the splits, and it was soooo heartbreaking, but then here's Marion showing back up and letting us know there was even more to the story than Indy let on, and then the way it all wraps up is even more romantic than them getting married at the end of Location of the Crystal Skull!
Sasha: I agree with all of that except ...
Ariel: Huh? Except what?
Sasha: Except you calling Indy's god-daughter "Dynamite Girl."
Ariel: But we always make up silly names for people. You don't think that's a good name for her?
Sasha: Of course I think it's a good name for her ... but her actual name that Indy calls her is literally WOMBAT. I think if a movie is going to call one of its characters "Wombat," we probably ought to admit that's a sillier and more fun name than whatever we come up with is going to be.
Ariel: Gosh, I forgot about her name being Wombat. You're right. Wombat. Wombat. Yeah, that's really a lot funner.
Sasha: Anything else we want to say about this movie?
Ariel: Hmm. Oh! I remember, there was that one part where they tried to make us wonder if this Archimedes guy's dial was actually the Dial of Destiny from the title, or if it was a totally different kind of dial.
Sasha: What? I don't remember any part like that.
Ariel: Sure, it was when they were in the university building and there was a big fight in the archive room and Wombat escaped onto the roof and Indy escaped out into the building where the bad guys had shot those poor office folks earlier, and he sees that they've been shot, so he goes to call the police, and the phone he uses totally has a dial on it.
Sasha: Uh ...
Ariel: Like, the camera even shows it really big at one point. Maybe half the screen is that phone and the dial that's on it.
Sasha: But ... I think all phones had dials on them back then. And I think the camera was zooming in on it to show the phone had blood all over it because Indy got blood on his hand when he was checking that lady for a pulse and then after that he used the phone. So then it had his bloody fingerprints on it, which is probably why he gets accused of murder later on.
Ariel: So ... you didn't think at all that the blood on the phone seemed kind of ominous and destiny-like? Especially with that big old dial on the front of it?
Sasha: Sorry, no. I kind of just thought it seemed like a phone.
Ariel: Oh. Now I'm a little embarrassed, then, I guess, because I was really thinking, "Indy, maybe you better take that phone with you considering it has a dial on it. That might be the dial you need!"
Sasha: Hm.
Ariel: Like, just as a backup dial.
Sasha: Well, I guess it might have been a very different movie if he'd done that.
Ariel: Sure, because he could have called the police back at any point then and explained things.
Sasha: But ... no, because he would have had to pull the cord loose from the phone or from the wall to take it, and then the phone wouldn't work.
Ariel: There was a cord? What for? Were they worried somebody would steal the phone?
Sasha: I think there's another history of technology lesson here that maybe we can skip and talk about after we're done blogging.
Ariel: Ooh, is it as whackadoo as the whole Atom Bomb technology history we learned about from Location of the Crystal Skull?
Sasha: No, probably much more boring than that.
Ariel: Oh. Well, darn, though, I still want to know what it is!
Sasha: Should we wrap this up then?
Ariel: I mean, only if you think our readers don't want to understand why somebody would put a cord on a phone that you couldn't take loose without breaking the phone once it was done charging.
Sasha: I'm going to say not a whole bunch of them need to hear the explanation. And if they do, they can just Google it.
Ariel: Okay, then.
Sasha and Ariel: Bye, everybody!
Ariel: The first first one, duh, the one that was the best movie ever in all history.
Sasha: Okay, so obviously I remember that. I just wanted to make sure you weren't talking about Location of the Crystal Skull, because even though I liked that one, I thought it was maybe possible you might think I didn't remember how good I thought it was because of all the crazy quality shenanigans of the other three movies. So that would explain you asking if I remembered how good the movie was.
Ariel: Whoops, sorry. I didn't mean to be so confusing.
Sasha: Well, you're doing an extra good job at it, because I'm still confused about why you say you've been waiting for this movie so long.
Ariel: But that's easy! The first first Indiana Jones movie was SO GOOD that I was obviously waiting my whole life to see it, even though I didn't know it existed. And this movie is the first sequel to that movie that I've had to wait for, since all the other sequels we watched beforehand. And since I was waiting my whole life to see the first first one, obviously I would be dying to see a sequel to it, so really I've been waiting my whole life to see this movie too.
Sasha: Okay ... I think I almost understood that. I'm kind of scared to ask, though ... does that mean you were disappointed in this one? Because I didn't think it was as good as the first first one, which seems like it wouldn't really be enough of a payoff for a movie you've been waiting your whole life for.
Ariel: How could I be disappointed? It was never going to be as good as the first first one, but it was so much better than Thimble of Doom or Hunt for the Jesus Mug. I think it's maybe about the same level of awesome as Location of the Crystal Skull, even though it didn't have any mind-blowing scenes of how unrealistic real history was. But the ENDING of this movie was just the BEST EVER. Maybe even better than the ending of the first first one ... although those words maybe sound almost sacredlicious coming out of my mouth.
Sasha: Sacredli-- um, do you mean sacrilegious?
Ariel: I don't know. Do I? What's sacri...whatchious?
Sasha: Sacrilegious means something is like, a big insult or a super offensive thing to say or do because it's so against some religion.
Ariel: Oh, then yeah, that's what I meant. Actually, it's kind of a relief I had that word wrong because I was really wondering how you could put the word "sacred" together with the word "delicious" and have it be something awful.
Sasha: Maybe if you were wondering that, you could have looked it up in a dictionary ... or asked, I mean, just about anybody here. Like, if I know the right word, it's a total lock that Hettie or MSG or Claire knows it too, along with Elle, probably. Maybe not Akane, since she doesn't even speak English as her first language.
Ariel: No, but she knows a lot of great words for somebody who's still learning English.
Sasha: True. Of course considering you just found out what "sacrilegious" is, you're kinda still learning English too.
Ariel: Whoosh. She's doing a lot quicker job of it than I am, then.
Sasha: Speaking of doing a lot quicker job ...
Ariel: What? Oh! Right, we need to get to talking about the movie. Everybody put your spoiler blankets over your heads!
Sasha: Unless you want parts of Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny spoiled for you.
Ariel: Which you totally don't!
Sasha: Darn right, they don't. Now, I totally want to know why you say the ending of this movie might be even better than the ending of the best movie ever made in all of history.
Ariel: Well, I don't know if I'm totally saying that, but the reason I'm thinking about maybe saying it is ... you know how the first first movie ends with Marion and Indy on the steps of that building and Indy is all P.O.ed about the government taking away the Big Box Of Nazi-Melting?
Sasha: Yes. And then it shows they crated it up and stored it in a warehouse somewhere.
Ariel: Only that bit was kind of anti-climactic for me, because we already knew it was going to end up in a warehouse because we saw it in the warehouse at the start of Location of the Crystal Skull.
Sasha: Oh, right, we did!
Ariel: So basically, the first first movie ends with a more or less happy romancy ending for Indy and Marion, because even though he's grumpy about his Nazi-melting box getting taken, she says she's going to buy him a drink or something, and we know she's fun when she dirnks. Only we also know they're not actually going to stick together for very long, so it's not all that happy of an ending. And then, you know, again, the very end ending is just showing us something else we already knew, which is where the Most Dangerous Box Ever got squirreled away.
Sasha: I may be starting to see where you're going with this.
Ariel: Also, the big finale of the action part of the movie was pretty much just our good guys tied to a post keeping their eyes closed while all the Nazis got melt-ified. All of that was really awesome ... but also, you know, it's kind of a bummer that the most heroic thing they could do was squeeze their eyes shut really tight and ignore all the screams and melty-Nazi sounds going on around them.
Sasha: Yeah, it was super dramatic but also pretty creepy. Maybe the least fun part of the movie even though it was also maybe the most meaningful part.
Ariel: Which is why the ending of this movie was so terrific! It wasn't as creepy-shocking-scary-bonkers, but the whole last action part was totally fun in an AMAZING way but also really dramatic because it seemed like Indy might not come back, and then he does, because of a super-funny thing the dynamite chick does, and once he's back ... that scene with Marion!
Sasha: Such a good scene!
Ariel: Like, earlier in the movie when he's telling Dynamite Girl why he and Marion did the splits, and it was soooo heartbreaking, but then here's Marion showing back up and letting us know there was even more to the story than Indy let on, and then the way it all wraps up is even more romantic than them getting married at the end of Location of the Crystal Skull!
Sasha: I agree with all of that except ...
Ariel: Huh? Except what?
Sasha: Except you calling Indy's god-daughter "Dynamite Girl."
Ariel: But we always make up silly names for people. You don't think that's a good name for her?
Sasha: Of course I think it's a good name for her ... but her actual name that Indy calls her is literally WOMBAT. I think if a movie is going to call one of its characters "Wombat," we probably ought to admit that's a sillier and more fun name than whatever we come up with is going to be.
Ariel: Gosh, I forgot about her name being Wombat. You're right. Wombat. Wombat. Yeah, that's really a lot funner.
Sasha: Anything else we want to say about this movie?
Ariel: Hmm. Oh! I remember, there was that one part where they tried to make us wonder if this Archimedes guy's dial was actually the Dial of Destiny from the title, or if it was a totally different kind of dial.
Sasha: What? I don't remember any part like that.
Ariel: Sure, it was when they were in the university building and there was a big fight in the archive room and Wombat escaped onto the roof and Indy escaped out into the building where the bad guys had shot those poor office folks earlier, and he sees that they've been shot, so he goes to call the police, and the phone he uses totally has a dial on it.
Sasha: Uh ...
Ariel: Like, the camera even shows it really big at one point. Maybe half the screen is that phone and the dial that's on it.
Sasha: But ... I think all phones had dials on them back then. And I think the camera was zooming in on it to show the phone had blood all over it because Indy got blood on his hand when he was checking that lady for a pulse and then after that he used the phone. So then it had his bloody fingerprints on it, which is probably why he gets accused of murder later on.
Ariel: So ... you didn't think at all that the blood on the phone seemed kind of ominous and destiny-like? Especially with that big old dial on the front of it?
Sasha: Sorry, no. I kind of just thought it seemed like a phone.
Ariel: Oh. Now I'm a little embarrassed, then, I guess, because I was really thinking, "Indy, maybe you better take that phone with you considering it has a dial on it. That might be the dial you need!"
Sasha: Hm.
Ariel: Like, just as a backup dial.
Sasha: Well, I guess it might have been a very different movie if he'd done that.
Ariel: Sure, because he could have called the police back at any point then and explained things.
Sasha: But ... no, because he would have had to pull the cord loose from the phone or from the wall to take it, and then the phone wouldn't work.
Ariel: There was a cord? What for? Were they worried somebody would steal the phone?
Sasha: I think there's another history of technology lesson here that maybe we can skip and talk about after we're done blogging.
Ariel: Ooh, is it as whackadoo as the whole Atom Bomb technology history we learned about from Location of the Crystal Skull?
Sasha: No, probably much more boring than that.
Ariel: Oh. Well, darn, though, I still want to know what it is!
Sasha: Should we wrap this up then?
Ariel: I mean, only if you think our readers don't want to understand why somebody would put a cord on a phone that you couldn't take loose without breaking the phone once it was done charging.
Sasha: I'm going to say not a whole bunch of them need to hear the explanation. And if they do, they can just Google it.
Ariel: Okay, then.
Sasha and Ariel: Bye, everybody!
