Sasha: Okay, here we go.
Ariel: Hi, everybody! We’re trying something different today.
Sasha: Usually, we tell people what we’re going to talk about and warn them to put their spoiler blankets over their heads if they don’t want it spoiled.
Ariel: But we had a brainstorm today!
Sasha: Right! What we’re going to do is just talk about a recent movie that won lots of awards, without saying what it is, and we'll be careful not to name character names or go too much in order, and that way maybe people can read the post all the way through and not have things spoiled.
Ariel: Since they don’t even know what movie we’re talking about!
Sasha: I’m still going to say I’m not sure this will work, though. It was mostly Ariel’s idea.
Ariel: Hey, you agreed! Don’t try to blame me!
Sasha: All I’m saying is, people who haven’t seen the movies they wanted to see from the Academy Awards for last year, you might want to go watch those first.
Ariel: (Sigh!) If you were going to say that, we might as well have just done our usual spoiler warning.
Sasha: Well ... I just want to be considerate. Don’t you?
Ariel: I guess.
Sasha: Good. Let’s get started, then. You have anything to get going with?
Ariel: Sure. First off, the poor guy goes through so much in this movie, just because his buddy picks him for this job.
Sasha: Yeah, pretty ironic how one friendly decision ends up leading to so much craziness and danger. And they were obviously really good friends. You have to wonder how different things might have turned out if the one guy had the other one to rely on through the whole movie.
Ariel: You think?
Sasha: Of course!
Ariel: Hmm. Maybe. I don’t think there was any way it would all turn out happy, though, even then.
Sasha: Well, no. I mean, duh, given the circumstances. The whole setup was awful. And not just for the good guys, for everybody. Like, how could anybody live in that one super-creepy bunker? I mean, for years?
Ariel: Oh my gosh. It was soooo creepy when they got to that part. Not like the main characters had it any better the way they lived, though, squooshed into that long narrow space just below ground level where the rainwater can just run straight in.
Sasha: True.
Ariel: What do you think the deal was with that stuff they had hanging from the ceiling?
Sasha: I did not want to find out. Yuck! That was probably one of the creepiest parts, because we never really found out.
Ariel: You think so? To me there was plenty of yuckier stuff, like that drunk vomiting guy ...
Sasha: Really? That’s the thing you pick out being gross?
Ariel: You didn’t think it would be awful having to deal with that at the end of your day?
Sasha: I mean ... I guess? But in the grand scheme of things ... with all the killing and the tension of whether that message was going to get through ...
Ariel: Well, you must have a higher tolerance for vomiting than I do. That was a pretty gross part for me. Plus, there really wasn’t any worry about the message until the end.
Sasha: That’s true I suppose.
Ariel: I admit there was lots of competition for what scene was the most, like, eww.
Sasha: No doubt.
Ariel: I got a really queasy feeling when, um, that one person fell down the stairs and their head made that cracking sound when they landed ...
Sasha: So scary! How would they even be able to keep going with a head injury like that?
Ariel: I wasn’t sure they would. I thought that might be the end of them right there.
Sasha: Phh. There was a lot of movie left at that point.
Ariel: I wasn’t paying attention to how much time was left. It just seemed really likely to me they were dead.
Sasha: Wow. You really were watching this from a morbid point of view, weren’t you?
Ariel: That’s the kind of movie it was, didn’t you think? Like, after ... oops! Almost said their name. After that other person got stabbed, and was bleeding and bleeding, and you knew they weren’t going to make it, but he was still trying to put pressure on the wound, and they were telling him to stop because it hurt so much ...
Sasha: We definitely agree on that one. It was awful.
Ariel: Even the stuff that you’d think would be good was a downer, like the guy’s medal.
Sasha: Yeah, I thought the writer made a pretty good point there about medals. They’re just empty symbols compared to stuff that really matters, like being able to go home for good.
Ariel: Uh-huh. SMH. Anyway, I guess my main deal with this movie was, what was the point?
Sasha: What was the point? That’s a weird question! I thought the whole point was obviously him being able to go back to his family.
Ariel: You think? It seemed pretty iffy to me. Like, just wishful thinking on the guy’s part after everything was over.
Sasha: Wow. I thought the end was pretty clear and so hopeful!
Ariel: Hopeful? Really?
Sasha: I can’t believe you didn’t see it. You’re usually even more optimistic than me, and I like to think I’m a glass-is-mostly-full person.
Ariel: Sheesh. This is crazy! Like, “are we even talking about the same movie” level of crazy.
Sasha: Wait a minute.
Ariel: What?
Sasha: ARE we even talking about the same movie?
Ariel: Of course, Parasite.
Sasha: No! The war movie, 1917!
Ariel: What! No, scroll back up, everything you said was about Parasite!
Sasha: No it wasn’t! Everything you said was ...
(scrolling)
Sasha: Oh. Hahahahaha!
Ariel: Next time I guess we need to communicate better before we start.
