Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Another Finishing Another Star Wars Trilogy!

Ariel: The very best of the best finishes of these trilogies ever!
Sasha: I'm definitely not arguing with that.
Ariel: Wuh-uh-OW!
Sasha: People should pull their spoiler blankets over their heads because there's no way we can talk about this without spoiling tons of stuff.
Ariel: Get two blankets.
Sasha: Well, that may be going a little overb-
Ariel: A big fluffy comforter too!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: And a duvet cover. With a duvet in it.
Sasha: So --
Ariel: Plus some quilts!
Sasha: Are you done yet?
Ariel: We could do this all night!
Sasha: Not so sure about that ...
Ariel: Okay, okay. I'm just very excited about this movie!
Sasha: Well, me too, but I don't expect people to empty out Bed, Bath and Beyond putting blankets over themselves to avoid spoilers!
Ariel: You should have spelled it Bed, Bath, and 8eyond.
Sasha: Groan.
Ariel: I just want to make sure we don't spoil anything for anybody because there's soooo much great stuff in this movie.
Sasha: Okay, that I'll agree with. Also, people who'd like to start at the start of our Star Wars experiences can look at the link box over on the right of the page! Now what should we talk about first?
Ariel: I think we need to figure out what to call it? Episode Icks?
Sasha: That sounds like, "Ick, we don't like it."
Ariel: Um ... Episode I Before X Except After Sex?
Sasha: I was with you up until the "sex" part ...
Ariel: That's what she said! No, wait, I don't know anybody who ever said that.
Sasha: It's just not very Star Warsy. I mean, I don't remember any sex in any of the eleven movies or eight episodes of The Mandalorian we've watched.
Ariel: The green tentacle-head girl did flash her boob in Episode VI - Everybody Gets A Little Stupid.
Sasha: I don't know if a one-bazillionth-of-a-second boob flash counts as sex. That's really a stretch.
Ariel: I Before X Except After Stretch?
Sasha: Now you're just being silly.
Ariel: I Before X Except After Dex. Like Dexter Jettster.
Sasha: Who?
Ariel: Sexy Jesus's friend. You know, Butt-Scratching Diner-Lizard.
Sasha: Oh, right. Kind of obscure, and also I just realized that's an awfully long nickname for the episode. I'm not saying that every time.
Ariel: "Episode Fine."
Sasha: Well ...
Ariel: Oh, come on! What's wrong with that one?
Sasha: It's ambiguous -- like, some people might think of fine like fine wine, others might think we mean, "How was it? Eh, it was fine."
Ariel: Episode Niiiice, then.
Sasha: That one.
Ariel: Whew!
Sasha: So what did you think was so great about it? General stuff first?
Ariel: I have an urgent message for General Stuff!
Sasha: Haha, no, really.
Ariel: It was. So. Emotional. I cried so much in this movie!
Sasha: I could hear you sniffling the whole last half.
Ariel: I couldn't help it! And you're not pretending you didn't cry too, are you?
Sasha: No, I definitely did at things like when Cinnabon-Hair Girl sacrifices herself to reach her son, and then when he sacrifices himself later for Sunshine Rey. You know ... the parts where you were out-and-out blubbering.
Ariel: I didn't blubber! Did I?
Sasha: Well, I kind of felt like the whole theater was staring at us when Shiny Butler-Bot was about to get brain-wiped and said goodbye to his friends.
Ariel: Was I really crying that loud?
Sasha: No, I think it was more the way you said, "Please dear god does anybody have any tissues?!?"
Ariel: I did not say that!
Sasha: Well, you might as well have. The theater guys had to get a "wet floor" sign to put in front of your seat after the movie was done.
Ariel: Someone behind me spilled a drink!
Sasha: Aers, we were in the back row.
Ariel: Whatever.
Sasha: Maybe instead of pouting let's get back to the movie? You were just talking about Shiny Butler-Bot.
Ariel: OMG, he was so funny in this one! It scared me so much that he was getting his memory erased and then it turned out he was totally himself just with amnesia! Hil-larious!
Sasha: I loved every second he was on the screen. Not enough Rolling Bleepster, though.
Ariel: Well, you can't have everything. And there were three whole movies where Shiny Butler-Bot was kinda lame and Rolling Bleepster kicked patootie, so maybe this is just evening things out.
Sasha: True. What did you think about Han Ghosto?
Ariel: I can't talk about it. Where are those tissues?
Sasha: I thought his scene was Hannntastic.
Ariel: Boo! Now you're really trying to make me cry.
Sasha: But seriously, it made the scene on the bridge from two movies ago about ten times better, and that scene was already good. Plus, after all the times in the older movies where they said, "I love you," and then "I know," it was sooo perfect when they ended that scene with him saying, "I know" to his son.
Ariel: (blubbering)
Sasha: Okay, here's a hankie!
Ariel: (Louder Blubbering)
Sasha: What now?
Ariel: You said Han-kie!
Sasha: *sigh*
Ariel: Just give me a minute.
Sasha: This is getting out of hand.
Ariel: WAAAAH!!!
Sasha: (facepalm)
Ariel: (blubbering)
Sasha: I'll wait.
Ariel: (sniffles)
Sasha: Can we go on now?
Ariel: Only if you talk about a happy part.
Sasha: What did you think about the new characters?
Ariel: Now that was just weird. It's the last movie in a nine-movie series, what are they doing introducing all these new characters? Like three new characters at least.
Sasha: More than that. There was the chick with the head like an old-timey car fender.
Ariel: And Shiny Butler-Bot's oldest friend Babu Frik.
Sasha: The dude who was weirdly into that whole Holdo Maneuver thing.
Ariel: Stormtrooper lady. Was that all?
Sasha: I think for good guys. But there was that new General dude on the bad-guy side.
Ariel: Honestly, I don't know why either Kamikazi Fanboy or Stormtrooper Lady couldn't have been stuff for Rose to do. Or why General Rando Whymaihere wasn't Captain Chrome-chick from the last two movies
Sasha: Ooh, that would have been good. Captain Chrome-chick gets promoted over General Sux which pisses him off even more than he already was, so that's part of why he's the spy, and then when he gets offed, it's by a character we know and care about instead of Random Dude Selected to Kill a Major Bad Guy. As far as the other stuff ... I'm not a big Rose fan, so I'm like, eh, whatever. I mean, she's very nice and all. I just don't click with her.
Ariel: She was so important in the last movie, though!
Sasha: True. But in Episode II, Better Bad Guy and Better Bad Guy's Boss were really big deals, and then in Episode Ai-Yai-Yai, Better Bad Guy wasn't even there, and Better Bad Guy's Boss got de-headed in the first five minutes. So it's not like some rule that characters from second movies need to be a big deal in third movies.
Ariel: Well, it would have been kind of hard for Better Bad Guy to be there since he got de-headed himself in the second movie.
Sasha: I guess ... if these movies weren't pretty jam-packed with dead folks showing back up.
Ariel: Only the Force-powered ones, not shiny-suited mercenaries like Better Bad Guy.
Sasha: Um, there were literally millions of that dude. They couldn't have put one in his cool suit?
Ariel: I think his kid kept it and painted it green. Are we still talking about the same movie, though?
Sasha: Kind of not. We should get back on track.
Ariel: More cooool long-distance face-offs between Sunshine Rey and Helm Solo, who is back to wearing his helmet a lot in this one.
Sasha: Those two. Wow. You pretty much can't go wrong putting them on the screen together, can you?
Ariel: Not that I've noticed!
Sasha: And all that stuff between them at the end ...
Ariel: Let's not go there. My sob-rag is already soaked.
Sasha: How about Big Space Politician AKA the Emperor AKA Zombie Palpatine?
Ariel: Zombietine. Or the Undeadperor. So creepy! I have to say the actor is super versatile too.
Sasha: How so?
Ariel: Well, he can play a nice space politician, or an evil space politician, or an evil space-wizard politician, or an evil space-wizard politician with a messed-up face, or a zombie evil space-wizard politician, all equally well!
Sasha: I liked the fact that in all three third movies, he was an evil space-wizard politician.
Ariel: Nice point! I don't know if I liked Sunshine Rey being his granddaughter, though.
Sasha: I did! It took the message of, doesn't matter if you're from nowhere and added to it to say it doesn't even matter if you're from somewhere that ought to make you bad. You can still be a hero as long as you decide to do the right thing.
Ariel: I was more thinking, who was dating Mister Melty-Face that ended up having his kid? I mean, there must have been a whole lot of swiping left on his profile before someone finally swiped right.
Sasha: I'm sure he used his picture from before Bald Toughie melted his face.
Ariel: Oh, that's right. He's evil, so that's exactly the kind of thing he'd do.
Sasha: Were you glad to see Oldo Lando come back?
Ariel: You mean Really Oldo Lando! Sure, although I still like the actor from Solo better than this guy. Also, since he came back, I was really hoping he'd find a way to fix Elle 3 and get her out of the spaceship computer, but no such luck.
Sasha: That would've been kind of a lot to cram in.
Ariel: True.
Sasha: Speaking of a lot to cram in ... how much more do we have that we want to say about this one?
Ariel: Well ... it's getting pretty late and we've covered a lot already. Maybe just that this was a really good ending to the whole nine movies. We got to say goodbye to all three main characters from the middle trilogy (sniff), and we got to hear the voices of lots of Jedi from the first trilogy, and it was exciting and funny and I laughed a lot and cried a lot, and it was just plain all-around wonderful.
Sasha: I also liked how when Ghost Teen Hottie was talking at the end, he was still all about himself, like, "Hey, Rey, rise up and be awesome, like me!"
Ariel: So true ...
Sasha: Do you think they're going to make any more of these movies? I mean, they've said they're not making any more Skywalker Saga ones, but I sure would hate to never see Sunshine Rey again.
Ariel: Maybe she'll get a Disney Plus show.
Sasha: Well if it's as good as the Mandalorian, that would be fantastic.
Ariel: Oh boy. The Mandalorian ... are we going to write more about that one now that the season is over?
Sasha: Not tonight!
Ariel: Definitely not. Okay, then, everybody out there can dig their way out from under that giant pile of blankets and stuff now.
Sasha: Um, pretty sure if they put on their spoiler bedding megastore, they're not reading anymore to know they can take it off.
Ariel: Yikes! I hope I didn't suffocate any of them!
Sasha: I'm sure they're fine.
Ariel: So it did end up being Episode Fine!
Sasha: Sure, let's go with that.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight everybody, and may the Force be with you!