Ariel: Okay, right off the bat, everybody, put your spoiler blankets over your heads if you don't want us to spoil something big about the series we just finished, which was called "Warrior Nun."
Sasha: Something big?
Ariel: Super big, like, a way shocking kind of big.
Sasha: Wow. Okay, well, hopefully they listened and have their spoiler blankets up ... so what's this shocker spoiler of yours?
Ariel: It's the fact that she does do some warrioring.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: I mean, you watched it too, so you saw her do it. It took a while to get around to that part of the action, but she did a lot more of it towards the end of the season than at the start. Warrioring, I mean.
Sasha: I don't think I'm getting this. Explain it to me like I'm you.
Ariel: Well ... hey! That was mean!
Sasha: I'm kidding, I'm kidding! But I'm also not kidding, because I really don't get what you're talking about.
Ariel: Seriously? I thought it was a really cheap way for them to put a twist in the show, because it was so misleading ... but you really didn't notice her warrioring?
Sasha: Of course I did, but why is that a cheap twist? It's right there in the title.
Ariel: That's what I mean! Right there in the title! They called it "Warrior Nun," and then it turns out she actually does do some warrioring. So they should have called it --
Sasha: Oh. Oh, no.
Ariel: "Warrior Some."
Sasha: Aers ...
Ariel: I mean, then some people would have heard it wrong and thought they called it "Worriersome," like it was more worrisome than something else, and they would have been like, "Worriersome than what?" But the show does get more worrisome along the way, so those people would have been okay with it the more they watched. Two or three episodes in, they'd be saying, "Dang, that episode was definitely worriersome than the ones before it."
Sasha: Aers, this is even worse than the way you keep going on about the new Star Wars show.
Ariel: OMG, that show is taking SO LONG to get to the big reveal! Is it "and" or is it "or"? And what are the two things that it's either "and" or it's "or" between? I mean, what and/or what?
Sasha: I really think you're going to be frustrated when we get to the season finale of that show.
Ariel: No, I trust the people making this show, I think they've got a real plan. Because he's in prison right now, which makes him a con. And "con" means "with" in Spanish, right? And "with" is pretty darn close to "and," plus the main actor is from Mexico, so I'm sure he speaks Spanish. It's all coming together.
Sasha: For your sake, I kind of hope you're right. But I don't know that the rest of the audience is looking for the same th--
Ariel: HOLY MOLEY!
Sasha: Now what?
Ariel: Sash! Where do things come together? At a junction! He's a con, and things come together at a junction, and that means when everything in this show comes together it will be a con-junction, and "and" and "or" are both conjunctions! They've definitely been planning this all along!
Sasha: Can ... can we go back to talking about Warrior Nun?
Ariel: Whew, look at me ... I'm shaking!
Sasha: Okay, but ... Warrior Nun?
Ariel: Sure, sure. I don't know if they planned that show out as well, though. Definitely not in the title department.
Sasha: That's fine. Great even. But what did you think about the show besides being annoyed with the title?
Ariel: Hmm. Well, don't tell our boyfriend, but I am hot for that Beatrice nun. I don't know why the main Warrior Some chick bothers with that squatter dude for the first half of the season when she could totally be getting with Beatrice.
Sasha: I'm not sure she could, because, you know, the whole nun thing ... they're not supposed to, um, do it.
Ariel: Uh-huh. That's what the title says about warrioring though, so I'm pretty sure they could do it at least some.
Sasha: That ... I dunno -- you may actually have a point there.
Ariel: I bet they're just saving it for season two.
Sasha: Let's talk about this season, though.
Ariel: Sure. You go first ... I'm still recovering from that brainstorm of mine about And/Or.
Sasha: Fine. I was pretty split down the middle about the main character, Ava. She's so irresponsible and flighty.
Ariel: Actually, I don't think she ever really flew. More like hovered. And she didn't even do that when the badass black chick pushed her off the cliff. She was about as flighty as a rock at that point.
Sasha: I'm just going to ignore that and keep going about Ava. So I totally get why she's the way she is. Her whole life she's been trapped in bed because she's a quadraplegic, and she's miserable from the orphanage nuns being terrible to her --
Ariel: The Irish one was the worst! The Irish nun, I mean. I mean, she was totally Irish, it wasn't even a case of her just being some Irish, she was all the way a hundred percent from Ireland, you could tell. Ireland with a stop in Meanie-Meanville along the way.
Sasha: Irish we could skip any more none/some stuff, is what Irish.
Ariel: Boo! We're talking about Warrior Nun, not Warrior Pun. Cut that out!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: So you were saying how you understood why Ava is such a goofy doofus the first part of the show.
Sasha: Right. Thanks. Basically, she's spent her whole life not only wishing she could get out and do things, but also rebelling against the awful orphanage nuns. So all she wants to do is have a chance to do her own thing, and not get told what to do by nuns, and then suddenly not only can she walk around and run and dance, but she's got super-powers! And then here come some other nuns telling her what to do.
Ariel: Yeah, but one of them is that Beatrice girl, and I'd sure let her tell me what to do.
Sasha: True, but another one is that Sister Lillith chick, who is pretty much as mean as the orphanage nuns.
Ariel: That's a good point.
Sasha: Anyway, I thought there were some really interesting characters in the show, like the priest who runs the warrior nun order.
Ariel: I call him Father Rad-Tats, because we find out later in the show he's got those rad tats all over his arms.
Sasha: He spent the whole season being really cool and interesting, and we kept seeing different sides of him, and then of course at the end he was part of the really big twist.
Ariel: Also, that guy could really work a suit-pocket.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: He'd be like, talking to one of the nuns or to Ava, just walking around or standing there, and he'd have one hand in his pocket, and I was like, "Dang, that guy really knows how to stand around with one hand in his pocket!" It helped that his suit was so sharp.
Sasha: Now that you mention it, I guess he really did have some good hand-in-the-pocket posture.
Ariel: And so did the scientist lady's henchman that used to work for the Vatican! His suit had a tie instead of the white collar bit, and it was grey instead of black, but wow could he ever stand there with a hand in the pocket. Do you think they teach that at priest school?
Sasha: Can we just get the part out of the way where I say I want to get back to talking about the show, and you say, "Suit yourself"?
Ariel: Ooh! That would have been a good one! But fine, what else did you want to say about the show?
Sasha: Overall, I really liked it. Lots of action, lots of good characters, some silly cheesy stuff, creepy wraiths, demons, nuns getting dragged to hell ... it was a pretty wild ride!
Ariel: That part was awesome, where the chick was impaled on the demon's claw and she's like, "Pick ... up ... the ... sword ... !"
Sasha: I also agree that the Shotgun Nun who pushed Ava off the cliff was pretty badass too. And that was a hilarious moment.
Ariel: Kinda makes you wish everybody around you had magic healing powers so when they got to really bugging you, you could just push them off a cliff.
Sasha: Does it? Wait, are you saying sometimes you'd like to push me off a cliff?
Ariel: Not you, Sasha! I meant other annoying people.
Sasha: Meaning I'm annoying, but not push-her-off-a-cliff annoying?
Ariel: Actually I guess I don't know anybody that annoying. So I guess it wouldn't do any good if everybody around me had magic healing powers.
Sasha: Maybe the magic healing powers would come in handy for some other reason?
Ariel: I know I could sure use some with my back all busted like it is.
Sasha: Aw! But would you be willing to do all the hard Warrior Nun work that comes with the powers?
Ariel: I don't know ... does the hot Sister Beatrice nun come with the powers too? Because that might be worth the work. Mmm, Beatrice ... I could probably be an even Workier Nun than Ava in that case.
Sasha: You really have a thing for Beatrice, huh?
Ariel: It's because she's so nice! Except when she's hurting people. But actually even then she's pretty nice about it. Mostly.
Sasha: If you were going to be a warrior nun, you'd for sure be Beatrice. She's not any nicer than you.
Ariel: That's so sweet of you! Maybe in season two there will be a spicy nun that you can be like.
Sasha: I guess we'll find out next week!
Ariel: Omigosh, that's right! I can't believe it's November already. There's hardly any time left to wait for the next season.
Sasha: Some and/or none. That sound like a good note to end on?
Ariel: Sure! Well, that and I'm proud of us for making it through the whole post without even a single joke about habits.
Sasha: I imagine there's several people out there who appreciate that.
Ariel and Sasha: Bye, everybody!
