Ariel: That's not true! That's impossible!
Sasha: Search your feelings ...
Ariel: Or I could just scroll through our post list, I guess. GASP! You're right!
Sasha: How did this happen?
Ariel: We're smarter than this! Wait ... no, actually we forget about things all the time.
Sasha: Yeah, like the stuff from all those Marvel movies we watched just a few months back. Plus, you're so lazy.
Ariel: I'm going to try to forget you said that.
Sasha: See? You're proving your own point.
Ariel: Okay, time for us to do something about it, then! What Star Wars do we want to talk about?
Sasha: There's a lot to choose from ...
Ariel: Like we never did a post just about Episode Ai-Yai-Yai.
Sasha: Or Empiresode V.
Ariel: Or the Glam Solo movie.
Sasha: Or the super-super-sad one we don't even have a joke name for.
Ariel: It was so sad, the name would have to be a perfect synonym for sadness, and then it wouldn't be a joke, it would be too sad.
Sasha: Plus, you're too lazy to look in the thesaurus.
Ariel: Am not! Hettie gave me hers to help with the blogging. It's right there. That kind of dusty one. Oh my gosh, there's our joke name!
Sasha: What?
Ariel: Roget One.
Sasha: Someone somewhere is groaning.
Ariel: But at least we named it and we can move on.
Sasha: You're sure you don't want to talk about that one?
Ariel: Too sad, unhappy, discontented, dejected, angstful, morose, sorrowful, melancholy --
Sasha: Would you shut that book? Carefully, so the dust doesn't make a big cloud everywhere?
Ariel: I'll just leave it open in case later in the post I need a synonym for, uh, sacreligious, saddle, sadism --
Sasha: Moving on ... what about the first one with Sunshine Rey and Helm Solo? We never did a post on that one.
Ariel: Or decided what to call it. The First Awakens?
Sasha: Or The Thirst Awakens, since those two got pretty thirsty for each other.
Ariel: Yeah, but not really in that movie. Plus it's been so long since we watched that one.
Sasha: We never did a real post about The Mandalorian ...
Ariel: What are you talking about?!? We did two GREAT posts about it!
Sasha: Never mind, I'm sweeping the subject under the rug before this post goes the way those ones did.
Ariel: Okay, so really maybe we should just talk about the one we watched most recently and is most freshtastic in our memories.
Sasha: The Bad Batch?
Ariel: Yes! It'll also be easy because the girl character already came up with the silly names for us.
Sasha: She did?
Ariel: Sure! Huntah, Tick, Wrickah, Icko, and Crosshere. Plus herself, Amiga.
Sasha: Haha, okay, I won't even complain that you're being lazy with those.
Ariel: Good, because you saying I'm lazy is getting really ... dull, dreary, dry, humdrum, irritating, tedious, tiresome --
Sasha: Okay, that's enough!
Thesaurus: *SLAM*
Sasha and Ariel: cough! cough!
Sasha:... cough ...Would you just take that thing back to Hettie already?
Ariel: How about I put it under the desk here and take it later?
Sasha: Fine. Now what do we want to say about this show?
Ariel: It is sixteen episodes long and has some clones in it. Done! That was easy.
Sasha: Why do you always get so far off the subject and then when we finally get back to it, you try to rush through the part we're supposed to be here to do?
Ariel: I don't! Not really, I mean. I've just noticed for a while now, you start an awful lot of our posts off asking me to say what I think first, and if I don't have anything already ready to say right away, that's an easy way to get you to go first instead.
Sasha: Sorry, I didn't notice I was doing that. You could have just said, "Why don't you go first?"
Ariel: Wait, are you asking me to do something the easy way?
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Anyway, I've figured out some things to say now, so I can go first after all.
Sasha: Great. You do that.
Ariel: So this is the third Star Wars cartoon show we've watched, after The Clone Wars and Rebels, although it comes in between those, so they're definitely trying to keep you on your toes.
Sasha: Oh, hey, we better tell people to put their spoiler blankets on.
Ariel: I was getting to that, only I'm saying stuff right now that's not all spoilly yet.
Sasha: My bad. Go on, then.
Ariel: Anyway, I know there are people out there that like Star wars but haven't watched these shows because they're cartoons --
Sasha: I don't know if I would call those people "cartoons," exactly.
Ariel: What? No, the reason they haven't watched isn't because they're cartoons. It's because the shows are -- wait. You know what I meant! What are you doing?
Sasha: I just figured since you're actually going first for real and not even putting on the spoiler blanket, I could act like you normally do.
Ariel: So you're making fun of me.
Sasha: I would never! Go on, you're doing great.
Ariel: Whatever. Grr. People, just put your spoiler blankets over your heads and you dumb ones who won't watch a good show because it's a cartoon, I'm just going to let it be your problem.
Sasha: Great, let's go! So what are we going to say about The Bad Batch?
Ariel: You're doing it again!
Sasha: Whoops. All right, let me start off by saying I really like this show.
Ariel: Better.
Sasha: Thanks. Probably kind of predictable, though, because we pretty much always like Star Wars stuff.
Ariel: Except the sad stuff.
Sasha: Right.
Ariel: And the unhappy stuff. And --
Sasha: Don't.
Ariel: Well then you keep going.
Sasha: Sure. I guess the thing about The Bad Batch is, I have no idea where the series might end up. With The Clone Wars, it was obviously telling the story about the Clone Wars, which we already knew what happens at the end because of Episode Ai-Yai-Yai where the war is over. And with Rebels, we mostly knew it was heading toward where the story starts up in Rogue One --
Ariel: Roget One.
Sasha: Roget One and Episode Ivy. But The Bad Batch starts right when The Clone Wars ends --
Ariel: Kinda overlaps just a little.
Sasha: True. And --
Ariel: Just a teensy little bit.
Sasha: Yes. So --
Ariel: Like, this much.
Sasha: Aers, nobody can see you making that pinchy gesture.
Ariel: I'm sure they got the idea.
Sasha: Can I keep talking?
Ariel: Uh-huh, go right ahead.
Sasha: Anyway. Unlike The Clone Wars, where we knew the Clone Wars were gonna end with Big Space Politician winning and turning into Emperor Prunepatine and Teen Hotty turning into Darth Vader and Sexy Jesus and the Wise Old Gnome-Toad going off into hiding, and unlike Rebels where we knew the Rebellion was going to get formed from these people in a few years, with The Bad Batch, there's literally no telling what's going to happen.
Ariel: I mean, we know there's a batch of them. And that they're bad. I mean, the good kind of bad, not the bad kind of bad.
Sasha: Okay, yes, we knew that.
Ariel: I mean, Crosshere did turn into the bad kind of bad, but -- oh, sorry! Still your turn!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Really, I mean it! Look, I'm zipping my lips!
Sasha: sigh. Now then --
Ariel: Oh heck! That was like the pinchy gesture, wasn't it? Nobody could see me making the lip-zipper motion moving my finger and thumb across my mouth. That's what I was doing, everybody! Like, putting my finger and thumb together like I was grabbing a zipper handle, and then moving them across my mouth like it was a zipper.
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Why are you looking at me like that?
Sasha: ...
Ariel: okay everybody, I'm doing that lip-zipperer thing again!
Sasha: Look, I'm going to take a deep breath and finish what I was saying really fast, and I'm not going to stop no matter what you say or do, so don't interrupt, got it?
Ariel: mm-hmm-hmm-hmmf!
Sasha: (deep breath)
Ariel: Just so everybody knows, I was nodding and pointing at my mouth like --
Sasha:The-thing-is-we've-never-seen-any-of-the-Bad-Batch-characters-in-any-of-the-later-movies-or-shows-so-we-don't-know-if-they-live-or-if-they-die-or-if-some-of-them-live-and-others-die-and-we-don't-know-if-the-story-of-the-whole-series-will-last-all-the-way-from-the-end-of-The-Clone-Wars-to-the-start-of-Rebels-or-even-longer-so-it's-all-completely-unknown!
Ariel: Whoa, that was a mouthful.
Sasha:*wheeze*
Ariel: I think you could use a break. How about if we call this one done and maybe later we can come back and talk about just our favorite episodes of the show!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: She's making a thumbs-up sign, everybody! Bye!
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