Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Some More of the Marvels, Part Five!

Ariel: Hoo, boy, there are so many of these movies and shows left on our list.
Sasha: Sure, but there were the same number of movies and shows when we started. The only difference is, you had to go and make a complete list in Part Three, so now we know exactly how long it is.
Ariel: Well, we started before the Wicked Horny Bro Show came out. And before we watched Blast from Assassin Gal's Past. And before Shawn Sheesh and the Legend of My Vag. And --
Sasha: Okay, okay, so there are a few more things than when we started. That doesn't really make it any harder, we just have to keep posting about a couple movies or shows here, and a couple more there, and eventually we'll get done.
Ariel: But we won't! I already halfway don't remember some of these movies and shows, and they keep coming out with more and more, and we're only posting about like two or three of them each time.
Sasha: So, what, do you just want to give up?
Ariel: No! I think we just need a plan. Like, how to make sure we post the right amount so we don't keep falling behind and forgetting everything before we get to the post about the movies or shows we want to post about.
Sasha: Fine. Then why don't we just post every day until we catch up. Even if we only post about one movie or show a day, that should work, right? And you post in your journal every day, so I know you're not too lazy for daily posting.
Ariel: ... actually I've been pretty lazy about posting in my journal lately.
Sasha: Dayum, girl, you must have been really lazy if you're actually admitting you were lazy. Usually that's the one thing I can count on you to put some energy into -- arguing that you're not lazy.
Ariel: I put energy into other things than that! 
Sasha: Sheesh, I'm just kidding. Anyway, if you're being lazy, it sounds like I just need to poke you into doing more blogging. Problem solved. Can we talk about some Marvels now?
Ariel: I guess. Which one are we supposed to talk about next?
Sasha: Hey, you're the one in charge of the computer this post. Scroll back and look.
Ariel: Ugh. So much work. All right, all right ... looks like ... Everybody at Once Part 2: So Many Robots!
Sasha: Spoiler blankets up, all you readers out there! 
Ariel: I guess we should have said that, like, before I said what the movie was. Now it's too late and some people already got it spoiled for them that there are so many robots in this movie.
Sasha: It's true, there's lots of them. You could always backspace to before you typed the title and we could put the spoiler warning first.
Ariel: No. Too late. We blew it. Sorry everybody.
Sasha: What are you talking about? Nobody's even read this yet for you to apologize to.
Ariel: But I did apologize, and it made me feel better, and now you want me to backspace over it?
Sasha: Are ... are you just trying to make me call you lazy and get into a big time-wasting argument now?
Ariel: Maybe.
Sasha: Why would you do that?
Ariel: Because I'm having trouble remembering the movie! Like, barely all I can remember is there were so many robots.
Sasha: Okay, so, I'm gonna refer you back to our Mandalorian and More the Mandalorian posts now. Also, our Part Four post from just a couple days ago.
Ariel: What about them?
Sasha: Just go look at them and tell me what they have in common.
Ariel: ...
...
Ariel: Um ... I guess I kinda said the same thing over and over in them?
Sasha: Exactly. So now I'm going to talk about what I remember about this movie, and you can talk about what you remember about the movie. Got it?
Ariel: ... maybe?
Sasha: First up -- there's another redhead in this movie. No shortage of redheads in the MCU I guess. This one is very hexy.
Ariel: Sexy? I didn't think we were supposed to talk about the lady heroes like that.
Sasha: No, hexy. Like, she puts hexes on people.
Ariel: Oh, right.
Sasha: I vote we call her Hexy Redhead. Or maybe Redhexy. What do you think?
Ariel: I think there were so many robots in this movie.
Sasha: There you go. Anyway, Redhexy is in several MCU movies from here on, and also is the big star in LongDivision, so people should pay attention to all the stuff she does in this movie.
Ariel: Like fight lots of robots.
Sasha: Exactly. This movie also introduces her co-star from that show --
Ariel: Also a robot.
Sasha: Basically, except they use the word "android." I assume we should call him "Division" like in the name you made up for the show?
Ariel: I didn't make up a name for the show. Isn't that the name? It sounded like LongDivision to me.
Sasha: Did you not watch the credits for the show even once?
Ariel: I think I was out getting snackies every time.
Sasha: Whatever. Anyway, it's an awesome show, and there's lots in this movie that comes back around in that show, so I really enjoyed it.
Ariel: Additionally, there are robots. But they didn't show up in LongDivision.
Sasha: Correct.
Ariel: If they'd shown up, I would've had to say, "Divisionally, there are robots" instead of "Additionally."
Sasha: Yes. I'm completely sure you would have had to say that.
Ariel: But I didn't, because there weren't any. I think it's because they used up all the robots in this movie. There were. So. Many. Robots.
Sasha: Yeah, pretty much sums it up. Do you want to move on to Shrinkydink Bugbuddy? That's next on our list.
Ariel: I'd say yes, but I'm a little tired.
Sasha: Okay, well, if that's all, then --
Ariel: Get it? I said, "a little tired." Because he shrinks.
Sasha: I got it. I just didn't want to encourage it.
Ariel: You're no fun sometimes. I guess we're done, then.
Ariel and Sasha: Bye, everybody!

Sunday, January 9, 2022

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Some More of the Marvels, Part Four!

Sasha: Okay, let's do this thing!
Ariel: What thing? Hit the "publish" button before we're ready?
Sasha: Are you still mad about that from last time?
Ariel: Maybe.
Sasha: Well, feel free to grab the mouse and click the button to get me back, then.
Ariel: No, I'm going to be the bigger person.
Sasha: Ouch. You don't have to get personal about it. That was very heightist of you.
Ariel: Oh, no, I didn't mean it that way!
Sasha: You didn't, huh? Don't think I don't notice how you're literally always looking down on me when we're blogging.
Ariel: No I'm not!
Sasha: Are so. You're doing it right now, in fact. Look how you're tipping your head down to point your eyes at me!
Ariel: No, I ... I mean, yes, but only because I'm a little taller than you, and --
Sasha: Great, just keep rubbing it in.
Ariel: I'm not! I ... wait a minute, are you teasing me to stop me from being mad?
Sasha: Super. Now you're calling me manipulative too.
Ariel: ...
Sasha: Haha, okay, take two -- let's do this thing!
Ariel: (grumble)
Sasha: If I remember your big list from last time, first up is Hammertime Guy: Lights Out, right?
Ariel: (crosses arms) No. First we tell everybody to put their spoiler blankets over their heads.
Sasha: Sure. Everybody put your spoiler blankets over your heads, 'cause we're about to spoil us some spoilage, big time. Now, after watching this movie, I don't know why our boyfriend says it gets a bad rap from a lot of people.
Ariel: He probably says so because it gets a bad rap from a lot of people. I mean, why would he just make that kind of thing up?
Sasha: No, I mean I don't know why it would get a bad rap from a lot of people. I liked it!
Ariel: Well, sometimes people suck. Maybe you've noticed.
Sasha: Okay, obviously it's time for a tickle break.
Ariel: What? No!
Sasha: Yes, tickle break!!!
Ariel: Stop! Aah! Ahaha -- eeh! Quit it!
...
...
...
Sasha: So ... all better? Are you over being mad at me?
Ariel: Uhh ... I was mad at you? Oh, right ... I guess it's okay now ...
Sasha: Good. Straighten your shirt, girl, or you're going to be distracting me the whole rest of this post.
Ariel: Is this better?
Sasha: Peachy keen! Ready to get back to Hammertime Guy: Lights Out?
Ariel: Yeah ... it was good! I always like watching Senator Wardrobe from Star Wars, and also I liked seeing that hilarious intern chick more. She's hilarious. And it was even better when she came back in LongDivision!
Sasha: Whoa, we've got so many movies to get through before we talk about LongDivision!
Ariel: Sorry, I just really think she's funny.
Sasha: No argument there. What was your fave part of this movie, though?
Ariel: I think the part where they found the space warp thingabob and were dropping stuff in it to watch it fall and disappear and then reappear. I mean, hunky Hammertime Guy wasn't there, but it was a wacky, funny scene anyhow.
Sasha: Definitely. Also, I liked how Wicked Horny Bro was back to being an interesting character again.
Ariel: I know, right? In the first Hammertime Guy movie, he was like, "Look at me! I'm kind of funny and fun and also kind of a dick ... I'm complex that way!" Then in Everybody at Once, he was like, "Maybe I'll just go all dick, all the time. Worth a try, right?" Then in this one, he's like, "Still kind of into my being-a-dick jam, but maybe I'll try some learning-a-lesson-the-hard-way and then some doing-the-right-thing and going-out-big, just for kicks."
Sasha: Way better story choices. Now, how about the next movie, Captain I'm-Extra-Nice: Frigid Friend Zone? And why are we calling it that?
Ariel: Well, we called the first one of these movies Nerdlicious Nazi-Stomper, but there aren't nearly as many Nazis in this one and also he's not nerdy anywhere in this one, so I figured we needed a new name for him.
Sasha: Cool cool.
Ariel: Exactly! That's what the second part of the title is for -- this movie was way cool. Plus, Cap's buddy from the first movie got dropped into ice, and then fought in the whole Cold War thing, and then also there's that nurse who lives across the hall from Steve who he sort of asks out and then she sort of friend-zones him. Oh, plus Eyepatch Badass deliberately makes all his friends think he's dead, which made me go, "Whoa, that's cold" when I found out he wasn't.
Sasha: You really thought about that title a lot, didn't you?
Ariel: Sort of. You know when it came to me?
Sasha: No, when?
Ariel: When I was chillin'.
Sasha: Uh-huh. Back to the movie, then ...
Ariel: What an exciting movie! Captain I'm-Extra-Nice was awesome, Assassin Gal was awesome, Cap's new wingy-dingy friend was awesome, there was an awesome fight in an elevator and several awesome car chases and just generally a lot of awesomeness.
Sasha: I agree. Also in the dialogue, like when Assassin Gal tells him, "You may be in the wrong line of work," and then later he tells her the same thing.
Ariel: Lots of saying the right thing at just the right moment in this movie! "I'm with you to the end of the line."
Sasha: Yeah, good times. What's up next?
Ariel: I am Groot!
Sasha: Okay, no. I see where this is going, and can we just not?
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: What ... what are these? Note cards?
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: You wrote me note cards to translate all your "I am Groots" for us to use through talking about two whole movies?
Ariel: I am Groot!
Sasha: Fine. Whatever. So what did we think about this movie?
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: "Yes, I agree that it was really funny, especially Tree Dude and Sassy Trash Panda." Aers, I don't know if this is going to work. I mean, I do agree with that, but what if I didn't? 
Ariel: I am Groot!
Sasha: No, stop pointing at the cards! Seriously, I want to be able to give my own opinion about the movie.
Ariel: I. Am. Groot.
Sasha: Ugh. Fine, the next card says ... "Yeah, I guess this will all go easier if I just read the cards."
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: "But I don't want to just read the cards, I --" Wait a minute, did you write a whole argument for us to have about reading the cards on the cards?
Ariel: I am Groot?
Sasha: "What do you mean, 'Maybe?' Look at these things, it's just card after card of me saying both sides of a stupid argument! Why would I want to do this?"
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: "Oh my god, do you really think I'm that predictable? It's actually kind of insulting. Here, take these things back."
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: "Come on. What, now you're going to pretend to be all sad?"
Ariel: I ... am Groot ...
Sasha: "Well, it's not going to work. You know why? Because I'm the meanest girlfriend on the planet, and now I'm just going to hit the 'publish' button."
Ariel: I am --
Sasha: "See you next time, folks!" Oh no you don't -- give me that mouse! Get your hand away from the keyboard! You set this whole thing up just to make me look terrible, didn't you?
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: What? There aren't even any more cards! Oh, one more in your pocket, huh? And what if I refuse to read it?
Ariel: I am Groot.
Sasha: Sigh. "Everyone, I am very very sorry for stopping our last post before Ariel was ready. I hope it wasn't too disappointing for all the people who were really looking forward to reading about our experience of those movies and then not getting anything to read but a big list of doofy titles. I promise I'll never do that again." I do not promise that!
Ariel: I know. But at least maybe you'll think twice about it next time.
Sasha: Okay, okay. So are we done for today?
Ariel: Unless you want me to write up some more cards!
Sasha: Absolutely not.
Ariel: We can be done-sies then. Bye, everybody!
Sasha: Bye, everybody ... sheesh.

Friday, January 7, 2022

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Some of the Marvels, Part Three!

Ariel: Okay, I'm just making a list here, not actually starting the post, we'll need to delete this bit when we go to post the post after we're done with the real post. Nobody will care about this part.
Sasha: Wait, now you're worried whether people care about everything we put in a post? You really think whatever we say in the post is going to make more sense or be more interesting than this part?
Ariel: Of course it will, I -- look, can I just write my list?
Sasha: Sure. What's it a list of?
Ariel: All the Marvels we've watched that we haven't blogged about yet. Um ... Hammertime Guy: Lights Out ... Captain I'm-Extra-Nice: Frigid Friend Zone ... GOTG, GOTG ...
Sasha: Why'd you list that one twice?
Ariel: I didn't. I just abbreviated the two movies about those guys.
Sasha: But you abbreviated them exactly the same.
Ariel: No I didn't. The first one was the abbreviation for "Groot of the Groot," and the second one was the abbreviation for "Groot of the Groot."
Sasha: Oh. Great. Now I really can't wait until we get to those ones.
Ariel: Me either! Where was I, though? Okay, I remember ... Everybody at Once Part 2: So Many Robots! ... Shrinkydink Bugbuddy ... Captain I'm-Extra-Nice: Let's Fight, but Polite! ... Blast From Assassin Gal's Past, Mad Accent Panther, Doctor Ow I Broke My Fingers ...
Sasha: Haha, that's a good one.
Ariel: Shh! I'm concentrating! Hammertime Guy: Zeppelin' and Zeppelin' Again, Shrinkydink Bugbuddy Getting Top Billing Why Exactly?,  Everybody at Once: Prune-Chinny-Chin's War, Everybody at Once: The Halftime Show, Long Division, Wingman and Frigid Friend Zone, The Wicked Horny Bro Show, Shawn Sheesh and the Legend of My Vag, The E.T. Ernals, and finally, whew, A Very Hawkward Christmas.
Sasha: And this is seriously a list of all the movies you want us to blog about in one post?
Ariel: And shows. And no, but I keep making lists and every time you decide we're stopping before we get to the end of the list, so this time, I just kept listing and listing and now you don't know which one is actually the one I think we should stop at. This way you won't know when you have to push the "Publish" button to not do all the ones I want to.
Sasha: You're sure about that?
Ariel: Yes! I thought this plan over a lot when I came up with it.
Sasha: Totally sure?
Ariel: Yes ... Hey! Give me that mouse back! Where are you taking that cursor? What --