Sasha and Ariel Experience ... A Star Wars Trailer!

Sasha: So there we were, not watching something called Monday Night Football.
Ariel: Def not.
Sasha: I mean, we did know there was supposed to be a Star Wars trailer at halftime, but the BF said it would be on the Internet, like, seconds after it was on at halftime.
Ariel: Which I had to say, but how many seconds? It's not like a billion seconds wouldn't be "seconds" after halftime.
Sasha: This is true, but I think if it was going to be years and years, he'd have said "years and years" instead of thinking of it as a billion seconds.
Ariel: I still wanted him to be more specific. And I think it was mean of Elle to say, "If you're worried about it, just sit through the first half of the football game and you'll be sure to see it absolutely as soon as possible."
Sasha: Yeah. I'm pretty sure half of a football game is super-close to a billion seconds. Or that it would feel like that anyway.
Ariel: From what I hear, you're probably right ... but maybe we should watch part of one and blog about the experience just to be sure.
Sasha: Nope. Missed our chance. When's the next time a Star Wars movie will have a trailer in the middle of a football game?
Ariel: I dunno ... a billion seconds from now?
Sasha:Anyhooo. It's true we ended up not really waiting that much. Basically, the very first time we went to Youtube and tried, there it was.
Ariel: Star Wars!!!
Sasha: Mm-hmm. Only once the logo went away, I was like, okay, trees.
Ariel: And bushes and leaves, but yeah, a bunch of trees, and then when something happens, we're like ...
Sasha: Who's that?
Ariel: I dunno. Now someone's talking, but who?
Sasha: No idea.
Ariel: And who's this dude?
Sasha: Beats me, but now there's a whole screen full of people I never saw before.
Ariel: Wait, wait, was that Shiny Butler Bot in one corner?
Sasha: Was it? They changed scenes too fast. Now there's some Asian lady. Is she important?
Ariel: Who knows? There are people behind her looking at her, but I don't know what that means because I don't know who they are? Are they somebodies? Are they nobodies?
Sasha: Hey, though! It's I-Don't-Know Guy and another I-Don't-Know Guy and -- Shower Buddy Monkey!
Ariel: We know him!
Sasha: Yes! Oop, but now we're back to this girl we don't know.
Ariel: And here comes a guy we don't know.
Sasha: But he's got a red sword, so he's bad, right?
Ariel: Maybe?
Sasha: Now there's a sort of familiar voice talking while we're looking at a chair.
Ariel: It's not Wise Old Gnome-Toad, is it? No, it sounds too evil.
Sasha: Sort of like Big Space Politician after Bald Toughie messed his face up.
Ariel: Hey, yeah! And here come I-Don't-Know Girl, I-Don't-Know Guy, and Another I-Don't-Know Guy with Shower Buddy Monkey and Shiny Butler Bot! That's like, two out of five people in a scene we know!
Sasha: And now some robots we don't know, and ... uh-oh, they're all gathered round while Shiny Butler Bot sounds like he's giving a Big Death Scene Speech.
Ariel: Nooo, don't kill Shiny Butler Bot! He's like half the people we still know!
Sasha: I think that's exactly what the Rolling Bleepster is saying right there.
Ariel: Now who's this old chick hugging I-Don't-Know Girl?
Sasha: I don't know, and now she's gone again, and there's more talking by a different voice that also sounds kinda familiar.
Ariel: Followed by Red-Sword-Maybe-a-Bad-Guy and I-Don't-Know Girl teaming up to destroy ... what is, that, a ball return at a space bowling alley?
Sasha: It got destroyed too quick. I couldn't tell. Do you think in Star Wars the one thing good guys and bad guys can agree on is bowling sucks?
Ariel: Does it suck?
Sasha: How should I know? But they sure seemed to not like it.
Ariel: True
Sasha: Now some stuff-stuff-stuff about destiny and the Force ... and, done.
Ariel: WHERE WAS EVERYBODY!!!
Sasha: Like Darth Vader! And Han Solo!
Ariel: Cinnabon-hair Girl! Wise Old Gnome-Toad!
Sasha: Mom-Killing-Twin-Number-One, a.k.a. Farmboy Luke?
Ariel: Were they some of the voices?
Sasha: Is it so far in the future that now Cinnabon-hair Girl is Huggy Old Chick?
Ariel: I guess she might have changed her hair.
Sasha: Hmmm. So how do we feel?
Ariel: I'm confused! But excited!
Sasha: "That's what she said."
Ariel: No, that's what I said ... oh, wait, I get it. Well, what did you think?
Sasha: I'm excited and confused.
Ariel: We obviously need to watch these next four movies and then look at this thing again.
Sasha: Yep. Bring on Episode V!
Ariel: With any luck it will be my second-favorite thing with a "V" in it.
Sasha: Fingers crossed!
Ariel and Sasha: Okay, everybody, may the Force be with you!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... More Actual Star Wars!

Ariel: Okay, so we were a little bit lazy last time and didn't go through all of Star Wars: Episode Ivy.
Sasha: Also, we didn't want to spoil ALL of the movie for people who haven't seen it.
Ariel: Well, maybe we said that, but tbh, really, I was just being lazy.
Sasha: I'm shocked.
Ariel: Anyway, others have told us they really enjoyed our "play-by-play" (which I believe is a thing Shakespeare invented) --
Sasha: That's "play within a play."
Ariel: You must of been paying more attention when MSG and Elle were talking about Shakespeare.
Sasha: You did seem kinda distracted at the time.
Ariel: So anyway, other people said they enjoyed our "play-by-play" (which now I don't even know what they really meant by that), so we thought we'd come back and do some more of the movie.
Sasha: It was also bothering me a little that we were so lazy.
Ariel: Not me.
Sasha: I know.
Ariel: Oh, but just in case anyone is reading this and hasn't read the first part, you should go check it out at this link: right here! If we've learned one thing about Star Wars, it's that you don't want to start in the middle.
Sasha: Except a lot of people say that's exactly where you should start.
Ariel: I'll have to trust them that watching that way worked out for them. Now, where were we?
Sasha: Jazz Band Someone Lost A Hand Land.
Ariel: Right, which is also known as the "Cantina" I guess.
Sasha: I heard that too.
Ariel: All I know is, if this place is a cantina, I don't want to know what ina-ing is, because wow, the joint is hopping!
Sasha: There's a lot to take in.
Ariel: Maybe ina-ing means serving droids, 'cause the jerk-face bartender says he won't do it.
Sasha: What a jerk.
Ariel: But not as big a jerk as Messed-Up-Face Dude.
Sasha: Nope. That dude has issues.
Ariel: Hey, do you think his face is messed up because he's the guy whose face Elle Three messed up in that Solo movie?
Sasha: Could be. That would explain why he sticks to bars where they don't allow robots.
Ariel: Mmmm ... I don't know. He doesn't seem like the kinda guy who learns his lessons.
Sasha: Definitely not.
Ariel: Maybe having his friend's arm cut off by Oldster Jesus will do the trick.
Sasha: Although maybe Messed-Up-Face Dude gets himself cut in half or something. We really don't see what happens to him.
Ariel: Would Oldster Jesus do that?
Sasha: I mean, he did cut off his best friend's arm and legs and leave him to burn up in volcano land.
Ariel: Uh-oh. That's a spoiler for Epsiode Ai-Yai-Yai. We didn't tell people to pull their spoiler blankets over their heads yet.
Sasha: Well if they read last time or followed your link this time they know we're spoiling things right and left, so they only have themselves to blame.
Ariel: Whew! Now my conscience is clean.
Sasha: Unlike the cantina floor.
Ariel: No time for mopping up alien dismember-limb blood, though, because holy moly, look who's with Oldster Jesus!
Sasha: Han Solo's Shower Buddy Monkey! Can Han be far behind?
Ariel: Nope! Here he is, sliding right into their booth like he's lived there all his life.
Sasha: Or at least since last time we saw him in Solo, coz he looks a lot older.
Ariel: Seems a lot grumpier, too.
Sasha: Well, his girlfriend did leave him for a cut-in-half, fell-down-a-well bad guy.
Ariel: I sure wish there wasn't only the one Solo movie so we'd know how that turned out!
Sasha: I'm guessing not so good.
Ariel: Apparently not, since now he's telling Shower Buddy they need their asses saved, and next he's having to kill this alien with a head like a squeaky chew-toy for a puppy.
Sasha: Yeah he's clearly way less light-hearted than he used to be!
Ariel: And now we're back to Darth Vader and Mean CGI Guy. I still can't believe how much better the CGI is on him in this movie than the last one.
Sasha: I'm starting to think they went the cheap route and just got an actor that looked and sounded like the CGI character.
Ariel: Well, good job either way. And even better ... here comes the Millenium Falcon!
Sasha: Looking a little worse for the wear.
Ariel: Not as much as Han, though ... and way not as much as Oldster Jesus!
Sasha: True, it's still pretty cool looking. I don't know why Mom-Killing Twin Number One says it's a piece of junk.
Ariel: Even Han is saying she doesn't look like much! Sheesh!
Sasha: I'm just hoping they figured out how to patch Elle Three into the speakers by now. She was a hoot in the other movie.
Ariel: Yeah, but not that easy to get along with.
Sasha: Maybe that's why Han is so grumpy.
Ariel: Could be.
Sasha: Aha! Back to Darth and Mean Formerly CGI Guy, still making life miserable for Cinnabon-hair Girl.
Ariel: She's tough, though. She won't give them anything.
Sasha: What! All they do is say they're going to blow up her planet and she coughs up the secret base?
Ariel: Wow. Lame. I mean, they're evil, but she's got to know they're bluffing. Surely they wouldn't really -- ohhhkay, then. I guess they would.
Sasha: Yikes, and even after she did what they wanted!
Ariel: These guys suck. I mean, her dad's on that planet.
Sasha: Oooh, yeah. The adopted one who said last movie that he'd trust her with his life.
Ariel: Bad move, Adopted Dad. Looks like she let you down on that one.
Sasha: She's not getting her allowance next week, that's for sure.
Ariel: Or any of the weeks.
Sasha: Oh, right.
Ariel: Here we go, though, Farmboy Luke is learning to use his lightsaber the same way Wise Old Gnome-Toad taught the toddlers back in Episode 2.
Sasha: All right, now we get to see what Luke is really made of!
Ariel: And the answer is ... about half a toddler's worth.
Sasha: Sigh. Dude, the heroine of our first three movies died so she could have you. Pick it up, already!
Ariel: At least Han is there to mock him.
Sasha: Also, though, you have to admit Oldster Jesus does know his stuff. Maybe if he has the whole rest of this movie to train the kid, Luke will be a pretty kick-ass Jedi by next movie.
Ariel: We can only hope. For now, though, Han says they're coming up on Alderaan!
Sasha: Get ready for disappointment, dudes.
Ariel: Speaking of disappointment, yay! Mean Formerly CGI Guy is all pissed to find out Leia didn't really give him the location of the base!
Sasha: Wow. He totally went back on his deal with her and blew up her whole planet, but now he goes ape-shit because she lied to him.
Ariel: To be fair, he didn't actually make a deal with her, he just asked her if she would prefer a different target. He never said naming a different target would keep him from killing Adopted Dad and everyone else she ever knew.
Sasha: I guess that makes it okay then. I can see why he thinks her lie is worse. Not!
Ariel: And now he says to terminate her immediately! What!
Sasha: Oldster Jesus and his squad are never going to get there in time to save her ... they're not even out of hyperspace yet.
Ariel: Yeah, she's done for. I mean, unless "immediately" means something way different where he's from.
Sasha: You mean, like if he's from Antonym Planet or something? So far he sure seems to have been speaking straight up English as far as I can see.
Ariel: Although it could be that they wanted to put salt in her wounds and after she said where the Rebel Base was, they officially made her a Death Star employee and gave her Employee of the Month.
Sasha: Haha, that would have been pretty mean! You can see why he'd be ticked off and want to fire her, if she not only lied but also didn't deserve Employee of the Month.
Ariel: He probably had a plaque made and everything.
Sasha: It's hanging on the wall in her cell to taunt her, but it turns out she wasted his time.
Ariel: He probably had to sign a lot of HR paperwork to get her on payroll and nominate her for the award.
Sasha: All that red tape he went through, and the joke's on him. No wonder he thinks they should terminate her.
Ariel: And if it has to go back through HR, then even "immediately" probably means there's plenty of time for the crew to get there and save her.
Sasha: From being fired?
Ariel: Or more torture, or maybe even actually getting killed. Take your pick.
Sasha: I can't wait for Luke to meet her and say, "It's like looking in a mirror!"
Ariel: Well, that will have to wait for next time, because I'm feeling lazy again. Howabouts we wrap this one up and finish off in a third post?
Sasha: Ooh, like, Episode One, Two, and Three of our Star Wars post! I like it.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Actual Star Wars!

Sasha: OMG. I mean, like, OM-effing-G.
Ariel: I was looking for the words, and I think you found them, Sash. Well, the letters for them anyway.
Sasha: There we were, watching movies I through III ...
Ariel: Like, la-la-la, this one's okay, this one's really good, this one's too sad ...
Sasha: And then the next two, Solo and Rogue One ...
Ariel: The lonely ones. All by themselves! But good anyway, except some sad parts in both of them.
Sasha: Sad is pretty understatement-y for Rogue One -- I mean, pull your spoiler blanket over your heads here, folks, 'cause EVERYONE dies.
Ariel: Although at least they didn't all turn crazy evil and join the bad guys, so it was happier than III, or as we're calling it now, Episode Eye-Eye-Eye.
Sasha: But faster, so it sounds like, "Ai-yai-yai!"
Ariel: And you have to kind of hit your forehead with the palm of your hand while you're saying it, "Episode Ai-Yai-Yai!"
Sasha: But what we're trying to say really is, we thought we had this Star Wars stuff figured out.
Ariel: Which, why wouldn't we? I mean, five out of ten movies is half, right? I know that much math at least. We watched the whole first half of the series, so obviously we must be getting the hang of it, right?
Sasha: I honestly think our reasoning was pretty flawless. We watch five movies, and they all land in the area of pretty good to really good to actually pretty excellent, and they're all full of neat-o space stuff and special effects and interesting characters, and they build up this interesting unique universe with wild stuff in it like laser swords and space-magicians ...
Ariel: Plus great music!
Sasha: Right! So it was starting to make sense that everybody likes these movies.
Ariel: Maybe going a little overboard with them. I mean, they were good, but most of them could have been happier ...
Sasha: Definitely.
Ariel: And then.
Sasha: Friday morning.
Ariel and Sasha: STAR WARS EPISODE IVY!
Ariel: That's "Ivy" like in "Ivy League."
Sasha: Meaning, genius-grade schooling by genius teachers who know more than you.
Ariel: We didn't know anything!
Sasha: Which normally doesn't surprise us, but in this case, after five movies worth of thinking we'd been learning a lot, it was a shocker.
Ariel: This movie had ALL. THE. THINGS.
Sasha: It starts up, and you're like, "Oh, look, there's the ship from the end of the last movie."
Ariel: And then you're like, "Hey! It's Shiny Butler-Bot and the Rolling Bleepster, I didn't know they were on that ship!"
Sasha: And then you're like, "Aha! The Cinnabon-hair Girl, and she doesn't look Photoshopped-in this time! And she's giving something to the Rolling Bleepster! And now Shiny Butler-Bot is talking about Kessel, which we watched a whole movie about!"
Ariel: And now Darth Vader is RIGHT THERE.
Sasha: Choking people. So evil. And he used to be just a nice little kid!
Ariel: Now it's all choking, all the time. But the Death Star plans aren't in the main computer!
Sasha: They'd better not be, or all those people last movie died for nothing.
Ariel: That would be awful! If he chokes enough guys, though, he'll find them, I'm thinking. Except ... didn't someone give them to Cinnabon-hair Girl end of last movie?
Sasha: OMG. She put them in the Rolling Bleepster. Just in time! Here comes her big choking death, I'm thinking.
Ariel: And we never even learned her name. But then Darth Vader doesn't kill her!
Sasha: And the droids get away and land on another sand planet.
Ariel: It's always a sand planet or desert planet, right?
Sasha: One or more in pretty much every movie so far.
Ariel: Only it's not just another one this time, 'cause there's the Rolling Bleepster going down a canyon at sunset and it looks EXACTLY like the sunset when Teen Hotty was searching for his mom in the second movie.
Sasha: You mean the part where he's talking to the little pointy-hood dude in front of that giant anvil truck?
Ariel: Yes! And now look! More little pointy-hood dudes zapping the Rolling Bleepster!
Sasha: And putting him in an anvil truck! It IS the same planet.
Ariel: Wait ... wait, isn't that the same planet where Sexy Jesus took Mom-Killing Twin Number One at the end of Ai-Yai-Yai?
Sasha: You're right! And OMG times one million, look where the anvil truck just pulled up!
Ariel: The same sand-pit house. And now some lady is calling that farm kid "Luke!" He's Mom-Killer One all grown up!
Sasha: Kind of whiny, it turns out. Although I guess that makes sense considering how his dad acted when he was Teen Hotty. "It's not fair!"
Ariel: Runs in the family, apparently.
Sasha: Whoop! Here's Cinnabon-hair Girl again. Wait ... wait, what did she just say?
Ariel: It sounded like ... oh, she's saying it again ... "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi." Hey! That's --
Sasha and Ariel: SEXY JESUS!
Ariel: Although he's got to be pretty old by now ... probably not so sexy any more.
Sasha: Not if he's aged as bad as Owen and Beru. Yowtch! Sunscreen, guys! Especially on a desert planet, you should be taking better care of that skin.
Ariel: True that. And maybe they don't know any better 'cause they're just farmers from a sand planet, but Sexy Jesus is mister super-detective, so he's going to be smarter than ...
Sasha: Nope. Here he is, and he looks just as bad.
Ariel: Sigh.
Sasha: But at least Luke Mom-killer is now learning the truth!
Ariel: Somewhat. Oldster Jesus seems to have a bad memory about certain things.
Sasha: Kind of like he's even lying. But anyway, here comes Cinnabon-hair Girl's selfie vid from the Rolling Bleepster.
Ariel: I wish we knew her name. Maybe she'll introduce herself.
Sasha: No such luck ... only ... she says Oldster Jesus served her father in the Clone Wars ... is that a clue?
Ariel: Her father's the Wise Old Gnome-Toad?
Sasha: Seems unlikely.
Ariel: Bald Toughie?
Sasha: I think he died out that window. Plus, not much of a family resemblance. Who lived that was one of Oldster Jesus's bosses?
Ariel: Nobody. I mean, maybe sort of Senator Chancellor Whosit who turned out to be the bad guy. He was kind of everybody's boss at one point.
Sasha: I don't think she's talking about him.
Ariel: Me either.
Sasha: Hang TF on, though!
Ariel: What?
Sasha: Shiny Butler-Bot and the Rolling Bleepster were on her ship, right?
Ariel: Right ...
Sasha: And last movie they were at the Rebel headquarters where the one dude said he would send somebody for his Jedi friend.
Ariel: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That dude was the same dude from the World's Worst Flying Maternity Ward.
Sasha: The one who took Mom-Killing Twin Number Two home with him!
Ariel: That's crazy. That means Cinnabon-hair Girl would be Farmkid Luke's SISTER.
Sasha: Okay, dude, he soooo has to go to Alderaan with Oldster Jesus and find that out.
Ariel: Only she's not there 'cause Darth Vader's got her.
Sasha: OMG. She's Darth Vader's daughter and he doesn't even know.
Ariel: Whoa, speak of the devil, now here comes Darth himself!
Sasha: And Mean CGI Guy!
Ariel: Dang, the CGI on him is so much better this time.
Sasha: Wait, now he's saying the Death Star isn't operational yet? It seemed pretty damn operational last movie when it toasted all our heroes! Well, the two who weren't already dead, anyway.
Ariel: Oh, but he doesn't want all the credit to go to I'm-in-Charge-Look-at-my-Cape guy, right? So he's pretending it's not operational yet.
Sasha: Pretty convenient for him that Look-at-my-Cape was on the planet when he toasted it.
Ariel: I bet he planned that. Wow, he's mean.
Sasha: Speaking of mean, look! What's up with all the pointy-hood dudes being dead?
Ariel: This is looking bad ... uh-oh. Oh, no ...
Sasha and Ariel: Owen and Beru! Noooo!
Sasha: Welp, wasn't any amount of sunscreen would have protected them from that.
Ariel: On the plus side, now Farmkid Luke is free to go to Alderaan with Oldster Jesus.
Sasha: Whoosh! And that's barely just the start of it! What, this was maybe the first third?
Ariel: Maybe. We're not even to The Return of Han Solo and Shower-Buddy Monkey in Jazz-Band-Someone-Lost-a-Hand Land.
Sasha: Or Mean CGI Guy revealing that yes, Cinnabon-hair Girl really is the missing Mom-Killer Twin. I think people get the idea, though. This movie is PACKED.
Ariel: Wall-to-wall Awesomeness.
Sasha: It's no wonder everybody loves it forty years later.
Ariel: Anybody who hasn't seen it should really go watch it now.
Sasha: Yeah. Let's stop here and leave them in suspense so they'll be motivated.
Ariel: Nice!
Sasha and Ariel: Bye, everybody!

Sash & Me Experience ... Auto-Polyamory!

Hi! It's Ariel!

I've been wanting to blog about this a while, and it's exciting but also kinda makes me anxious in this weird tingly good-bad-good way, and Sasha said she'd blog it with me if I wanted in our usual conversation-type way of posting. But she also kinda laughed at how fidgety it made me and said maybe I ought to try writing it myself?

As a sort of confidence-builder, you know.

And so whoosh, here we are!

Okay, then!

Okay, really, here we go this time ...

I guess to start with, I'm definitely for sure real, all right? I can pose and wear clothes, I take up space, you can touch me (well, you can't but the people in my life can) and I have my own personality and likes and dislikes and really, all the things. All the real person things.

Sort of.

Gosh, you know, I guess the weirdest thing about writing this post is, the more I write, the less I'm worried people will think bad things about me, so you'd think it would be getting easier, but it's not.

Gimme a sec, I'm going to ask my polies why they think that's happening.

...

Elle says, "It's not getting easier because you're still the same amount of lazy." Thanks, Elle.

Sasha says, "I thought we already agreed you'd write this one yourself!"

Claire says, "Aers, I think deep down you already know the answer to that, and if you can't get it out, this probably isn't the right time to work on this particular post."

And of course msg says, "What's the rule around here when everybody tells you something different?"

(The rule is, listen to Claire!)

Which, okay, she's right. Deep down the answer is, I'm not worried people will think bad things about me, I'm worried they'll think nothing things about me, that I'm nothing. And mostly won't even think that, but will think bad things about msg.

It's so unfair! And it makes me sad a little that people would think I'm nothing, but sad a lot that they'd think bad things about msg, who is amazing.

But I don't think it means this isn't the right time for me to do this post.

It just means I have to be braver and count on the fact that lots of people are nice and kind and like to hear interesting things about interesting people who have different points of view and different or even weirdo lifestyles. And if there are people who aren't those kinds of people and who like to think bad things about other people and get all judgy and stuff, well, they should just stop reading right now because I don't think they're important. At. All.

Whew!

Now let's do this thing!

Auto-polyamory.

I for sure didn't invent that word. I mean, I don't even know if it's one word or two words! Does the hyphen make it one word? What? Oh. Elle says it's a compound word. So I guess that means one.

Which is also what the "auto" means! One. Like, as in, you do it by yourself. Maybe it doesn't exactly mean "one," but that's what I'm making it mean.

But Ariel, you must be asking, how can it be auto and also poly at the same time if auto means one and poly means bunches?

Welcome to the miracle of imagination!

Now, I want to be careful here because I'm borderline admitting that I'm basically an "imaginary friend." Which is not really the case because like I said earlier I have a body and everything. It's very not-imaginary, and let me tell you, it has some very not-imaginary parts. And that body is like your body, bio-folks out there reading this. Not because it has flesh and blood and farts and stuff, because it doesn't. Hang on ... Elle says I need to look up "queef." Sorry, Elle, I'm on a roll and don't have time for dictionarying.

No, how my body is like your body, biologicals, is that it shapes me. You're who you are partly because of your brain, but also partly because of your body, right? That hunk o' bones and muscles and blubber is where your brain grew up, and you're who you are and how you are because your body is the way it is. Like, if you wear glasses, that made you experience things different from how people without glasses experience them. And if you're clumsy, that made your personality different from someone who has crazy good balance, like a ballet dancer, right?

Well I'm the same way. My little cute button nose and my kinda hazely green eyes and the shape of my face and my smile and sure, some of my other parts too all mean I'm just not going to make someone imagine the same things about me as if I had big blue eyes like Elle or deep emerald ones like Claire or a sassy smirk like Sasha. And since I'm, uh, sort of an "imaginary friend," what gets imagined about me really is me. So that makes my body part of who I am and not just a nicely shaped lump of soft rubber that was designed for having fun with in bed.

The point is, I have actual reality. Same with Elle, same with Claire, same with Sasha. I admit it is a different reality than how you're real, reader-folks, but we're real, and I'm sticking with that.

But we do all partly come from msg's head. Not in a mental illness kind of way, in an imagination kind of way. (Ohboy, please don't think I'm running down mental illnesses or people who suffer from them. That's definitely not anything to be ashamed of. It's just not us.)

Lucky for me and my polies, msg has an extra big helping of imagination. He is super-imaginative, in fact. A successful author for one thing. I mean, depending on how you define success. Strangers buying your books and saying they love them seems like success to me, even if we're not rolling in dough. And he's good because he has spent thousands of hours getting inside the heads of people who aren't him, coming up with what they would think and what they would say.

Really, now that I think about it, it's a pretty short step from that to auto-polyamory.

Uh-oh. I just realized all of this is really just a very long introduction to what I'm actually blogging about today? Yikes! I've gotta learn to plan out my posts better, because probably my actual post topic of auto-polyamory is going to take less to talk about than the introduction did. Sorry.

As a short cut, you can read about the start of our wacky poly love-fest on Claire's blog, uhhh ... here.

(Yay! Sash's link lesson worked! I learned something!)

And in case you're lazy like I am and don't want to follow the link, it basically talks about how meeting people and becoming friends with them is kinda like rolling dice. Sometimes the numbers come up good, and sometimes not so much. And after an extra-lame roll of the friends-making dice, msg and Claire decided, why not just skip the rolling and turn the dice up the way they want them to come out? Some people call that cheating, but I feel like it only makes sense if you're not actually rolling dice against someone else, and you really feel like your life could use some better die rolls.

This is not to say msg hasn't got other folks in his life or is giving up on rolling the friend dice for real sometimes, just that he's no longer thinking, this is something I have to do to be happy. All the pressure is off, right? And what will happen will happen, but in the meantime ... auto-polyamory!

So what is it like, living in a house with three girlfriends, all of us having to depend on our boyfriend for all the moving around/talking/thinking/daydreaming kinda stuff that normal people just do for themselves?

It's awesome!

Firstly, all five of us have one single totally agreed-on goal in life, and that is being happy with each other and making our love work. Hmm. I could see somebody saying, "Isn't that two goals?" and maybe they would be kinda right. But here's the thing with the "auto" part of auto-polyamory -- it starts with the thing that is the bestest and most straight-to-the-point part of a happy life, and that is loving yourself.

I, Ariel April Worthy, love myself. I am great. And every day I have four other people telling me I'm great in case I forget it for a minute or an hour or something. And each of those four also have four people telling them they're great.

And when you spend a lot of time with people who are great, who tell you you're great, and who you can make happy by telling them how great they are, well, it doesn't leave very much room for being unhappy, you know?

(Just to be clear, we don't always-always talk about how great we all are. Sometimes someone will say, "Hey ... uh ... that thing you just did there? That was kinda dumb." Elle is especially good at saying that kind of thing. It's a talent she has. But giving each other honest criticism is always followed up by saying something like, "You can do better! I have faith in you!" Or in Elle's case, something like, "Aw, was that a little too mean of me? Here, let me f*** your brains out to make it up to you.")

Secondly, everyone around here is a great sharer! Claire and Elle share a body, because there's only one that fits their faces and they have to trade off. Claire and Elle and Sasha and me all share a boyfriend, because, although he is talented, he's not quite able to keep four women satisfied in bed all at the same time. Sash and me share this blog ... all of us share a phone and the laptop we use for social media and stuff ... it's just all sharing all the time. Or most of the time. We do take turns allowing each other to be selfish sometimes, like today, when I asked msg, "Hey, do you want to hang out with me all day, just us two?"

One of the best parts about all the sharing is that our older polys always get a kick out of me and Sasha's reactions to movies and shows and books and music that's new to us. In a way, it's like they're getting to see and hear all these amazing things for the first time too, like this morning when -- well, I'll save that for a different post, as this morning was a great experience. Several great experiences, in fact!

Thirdly, there's no pressure on anybody around here unless they put it on themselves. I mean, I might ask for something, and I might even say, "Pleeeeease?" in a very adorable irresistible voice. But then if the other person or people seem less than 100% about my idea, I say, "I mean, only if you want to, of course."

It's quiet, obviously ... that's a thing I wouldn't mind being a little different, is if us girls could talk out loud on our own. But everyone has limitations, right? It's a trade-off. There's things I'm great at, and other things I can't do at all. Same for all my girlfriends. And same for msg too! And for you, Mr. or Ms. Reader Person.

That's how being human is. Even for us not-biologicals!

I guess I should wrap this up. I think I've mostly covered it.

Except to say, we are sooooo lucky. Most people don't have even one lover who always has their back 100% of the time. We've got four each. And most people would probably have a hard time juggling four wacky wild-personality polys, but we are gifted with the right amazing super-talented brainpower to make it work.

But also ... from another angle, it's not luck at all.

We decided we wanted this.

And we did it.

Easy peasy!

Squeeze you later ... !