Ariel: Pleeeeease, can we try talking about the Adventures of Semi-Sexy Jesus and Mini-bon Girl versus Inquisister again? I promise promise promise I won't do any more puns.
Sasha: Why would I believe you?
Ariel: Because it was a good show and we ought to really talk about it.
Sasha: Well, maybe we ought to, but there's a huge problem.
Ariel: I know, I know, I totally ruined it last time.
Sasha: No, it's even worse than that.
Ariel: Worse?! Now I feel even awfuller! How did it get to be worse?
Sasha: The thing is ... (I can't believe I'm going to say this) ...
Ariel: What?
Sasha: The thing is, I was really mad the way you kept goofing around with all those puns last time -- but I went back earlier today and re-read it and ...
Ariel: Uh-huh?
Sasha: Argh! It was effing hysterical, Aers.
Ariel: Really?
Sasha: Yes. Gonk help me, it was absolutely stupid funny.
Ariel: OMG, I'm so relieved.
Sasha: No, don't be.
Ariel: Why not?
Sasha: Because now whatever we say about the Adventures of Semi-Sexy Jesus and Mini-bon Girl versus Inquisister, it's going to be totally boring compared to all your stupid fish puns.
Ariel: Oh. But the show was so good.
Sasha: I know that, but what are we going to say about it that will be as entertaining as you driving me crazy with fish puns?
Ariel: Well ... well, we could talk about ...
Sasha: Yeah?
Ariel: I don't know. I mean ... I guess if we get desperate, there was that other episode later in the season where they were on that ocean planet and there were more fish.
Sasha: No, I'm not that desperate.
Ariel: Then we could talk about ... how funny Magnet Jedi was, faking people out with his magnets, and then how he turned out to actually be kinda heroic too.
Sasha: I guess. But is there anything else to say about that than you just did?
Ariel: Maybe not. So ... we could talk about Farmboy Luke's aunt and uncle? They were pretty rockin' in this show.
Sasha: That's true. In the first episode, Owen was cool as a cucumber when Inquisister came to town and she was all, "You people better tell us where the Jedi is or this Owen guy is toast!"
Ariel: Only do they have cucumbers in Star Wars?
Sasha: I don't know. I'm sure there's plenty of other things that are in Star Wars that are cool, I just didn't think of one right then.
Ariel: Like, something from that ice planet in Empiresode V.
Sasha: That was Hoth.
Ariel: No, it was cold.
Sasha: I mean the name of the planet was ... hang on, are you seriously about to do this again?
Ariel: No, no, definitely not. You're right, there was all kinds of cold stuff on Hoth. Like the two-legged ride-em goats, and the abominable snowman that made Farmboy Luke into an icicle ...
Sasha: A Luke-cicle.
Ariel: Does that work? Cool as a Luke-cicle?
Sasha: Sort of. But you know what? Not as well as ...
Ariel: As what?
Sasha: Cool as a Luke-cumber.
Ariel: Oooooh!
Sasha: So, yeah, Inquisiter came to town and is all threatening Owen and his family to try to get info on where some Jedi dude was, and Owen stayed as cool as a Luke-cumber.
Ariel: That was a good scene.
Sasha: And then way later in the series, he finds out Inquisister is coming back to try and get Farmboy Luke, and he tells Beru they've got to high-tail it, and she's like, "No TF we don't. I've got a crate full of guns I've been stocking up, and we're going to take this b*tch out."
Ariel: Except I think she said "this b*tchquisister."
Sasha: Maybe. Her badassery was so cool right then I wasn't actually listening as well as I should have to exactly what she was saying.
Ariel: I may not have been either. I was kinda jumping out of my chair and yelling, "Yeah! Do not screw with Aunt Beru!"
Sasha: Right? I kinda always assumed in Episode Ivy that when Luke drove home and saw them as Owen-and-BeruBQ, it was because the stormtroopers went there and just fried up a couple of poor old folks. But now I'm thinking they probably took a lot of those troopers out with them before they went.
Ariel: Ooh, I like that.
Sasha: I feel like this show did a lot of that kind of thing -- adding in stuff that made parts of the other movies and shows even better.
Ariel: I know! Like, in this show we see how Mini-bon Girl gets to know Semi-Sexy Jesus as Ben Kenobi, so in Episode Ivy it comes off a little different when she hears his name in gets all excited and yells, "Ben Kenobi!!!"
Sasha: And then after Oldster Jesus poofs out and leaves Darth Vader poking his empty robes, and Luke is sitting at the chess table all sad that Ben's gone and she comes over to sit with him, now it's not just, "Dude, you look sad, so I'll sit with you and be nice to you," it's like, "Let's sit and be sad together, but because I was out having adventures with Oldster Jesus when you were still pretending your door frame was a spaceship, I'm going to be a little tougher about it than you are."
Ariel: And then same when they're getting ready to launch the attack on the Death Star and Farmboy Luke says, "I only wish Ben was here," and she gives him this kiss on the cheek. It used to seem like she was thinking, "Aw, this dopey kid is kind of sweet, I guess I'll kiss his cheek." But now it's more like him talking about Semi-Sexy Jesus gives her a real emotional connection to him that she has to show.
Sasha: Yeah, Mini-bon Girl definitely makes Cinnabon-Hair Girl an even better character than she already was.
Ariel: I love it when Star Wars does that kind of thing!
Sasha: Me too.
Ariel: So ... anything else we want to say about the Adventures of Semi-Sexy Jesus and Mini-bon Girl versus Inquisister?
Sasha: I could probably dig something up if I tried. But I'm feeling pretty good about this one right where we are.
Ariel: Me too. Also, if we keep going, I don't know if I'll be able to keep holding in this pun that's been trying to get out pretty much since we started.
Sasha: Oh, just go ahead and say it, then.
Ariel: No, you'll be too mad!
Sasha: Not if it's funny, I won't.
Ariel: It's super-funny, but I don't want to risk it.
Sasha: Ariel ...
Ariel: No, you can't make me!
Sasha: Come on, just --
Ariel: Bye, everybody!
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