Ariel: Well we told them to when we talked about all the Star Wars movies, and Star Wars Episode I: The Main Guy Dies was as old as this.
Sasha: Um ... no it wasn't?
Ariel: I'm pretty sure it was from 1999 too, Sash.
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Why are you looking at me like that?
Sasha: You don't ... you don't really think this show was made in 1999, do you?
Ariel: It's right there in the title!
Sasha: Aers, it's a sci-fi show. It's supposed to be about the future. They couldn't make a show about the future in 1999 and have it set in 1999.
Ariel: Sure they could. The subtitley thingy said it was like, September 9 at the start of the episode. So the show could have come out in January and it would still have been like, 8 whole months in the future.
Sasha: That's ... but ... we don't even have a moonbase now. If a show came out today that was about a moonbase, and it was set in December 2021, nobody would remotely believe they might actually build a moonbase and have all this stuff happen in 8 months!
Ariel: Duh. Of course they wouldn't.
Sasha: Well then why do you think they would have believed it in 1999?
Ariel: I never said they would believe it!
Sasha: So doesn't that make it obvious it had to be made before 1999?
Ariel: Uh, no. How old would it have to be for people to believe the things that happen in this show?
Sasha: What do you mean?
Ariel: Sash, they have these electric-powered doors that slide open without you touching them, and there's a panel with all kinds of buttons beside every door, but instead of just pushing one of the buttons, everybody carries a remote control on their belt that they take off their belt and point at the panel to make the door open. Why? Why doesn't one of the zillion buttons on the panel open the door? It's not to save wear and tear on your button-pushing finger, because you have to push a button on your remote control. Who would believe that, ever?
Sasha: Probably like, people in 1975, when the show was made.
Ariel: Were people that dumb in 1975?
Sasha: I don't know, I wasn't around then.
Ariel: Well, if they were that dumb, they could have just called it Space: 1975 and everybody would have believed it just as much.
Sasha: Yes, but they were trying to make it futuristic.
Ariel: Fail. Even in 1999, they had to know the future wasn't going to look like that.
Sasha: But it wasn't made in 1999, it was made in 1975. Look, you even said yourself that the Star Wars Episode I movie was from 1999. Do the special effects in this show look like they could have been made in the same year as the special effects in that movie?
Ariel: Sure, if they were made by someone who didn't have the money to even hire a door-opener-consultant to tell them, "Look, just have the people push one of those buttons."
Sasha: But they did have lots of money. This was a big-budget, expensive show in 1975.
Ariel: Really? You're sure?
Sasha: Do you not remember our boyfriend saying he watched it when he was a kid? He wasn't a kid in 1999, was he?
Ariel: No, you've got a point there. Wow. That's a bummer.
Sasha: A bummer? Why?
Ariel: I just think I liked this show better as a show made by somebody with absolutely no budget that they put out in 1999 aimed at people too dumb to figure out the easiest way to open a door.
Sasha: Oh. I ... guess that makes sense?
Ariel: Of course it makes sense. Why would you want to believe a whole generation of people would actually believe the things in this show might happen?
Sasha: I can't say I really would want to believe that, but they did.
Ariel: Wow. I'm just ... I'm totally shook right now. Like ... the scene where they were remote-controlling the spaceship to fly on the whole other side of the moon to see what was going on at the nuclear waste dump zone, and the commander was whispering his orders to the remote-controller dude, like if he talked too loud it would make the nuclear waste blow up ... people bought that?
Sasha: Apparently.
Ariel: And, they had a computer that could put words on a big giant screen and talk at the same time, so they obviously knew words could be put on a screen, but for all the work they're going around doing, they use paper on clipboards, or they have their desk printers print stuff out on grocery-store receipt paper. Why? I mean, it's like 2 plus 2. Words can go on a screen, so you would do your work on a screen, right?
Sasha: Maybe they liked having the receipts like people keep their receipts from the store.
Ariel: Uh-huh. Like, "I better keep my receipt of this information about the radiation levels in case it turns out the information is broken, or I don't like it and I want to return it." Boy would that have messed up their plot. Later in the episode, they'd just say, "Hey, computer, what kind of junk information are you giving us here? Here's my receipt, I want to exchange it for better information. Or at least give me my money back!"
Sasha: I don't even know how to respond to that.
Ariel: Jeepers. I really enjoyed the show when I was watching it and thought they just didn't have any money to make the show with. I could just imagine them building those doors and some guy on the crew says, "Hey, boss, about these remote-control doors, I was thinking --" and the boss was like, "Oh my god, no! We don't have any money for thinking! Are you trying to bankrupt the whole production?"
Sasha: Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the show for you. You really thought it was from 1999?
Ariel: ... well, you know ... like ... early 1999.
Sasha: No, this was before any of the Star Wars movies and before most of the Star Trek shows we watched.
Ariel: You mean before all of the Star Trek shows, don't you?
Sasha: No, the first Star Trek show was in 1966.
Ariel: What?!? So almost ten years earlier they had doors that just swooshed open and these guys are thinking future doors would need remote controls to open them?
Sasha: Well, they didn't really have them. They just had a show that showed them.
Ariel: But the point is they knew it was a possibility, and they still went with the remote controls? And anyway, why didn't they have them? We've got them now, and they're not all that new, are they? How long after 1975 were swooshing doors invented?
Sasha: I don't know, probably --
Ariel: Okay, I have to look this up now.
Sasha: Whoa. You're going to look something up? You're really in a state about this.
Ariel: Oh. My. God.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: 1960. This says there were automatic sliding doors on the market in 1960.
Sasha: That's Wikipedia. You know you can't really trust that, right?
Ariel: I can't, huh? Well look at this: "Space: 1999 is a science-fiction television programme that ran for two series from 1975 to 1977." I mean, they spelled "program" wrong, but they got the 1975 right. Can't trust Wikipedia, can I?
Sasha: I mean, sometimes it's right about ... wait. You know what, Aers, Wikipedia is where I read about the show being from 1975 in the first place. So maybe that was wrong.
Ariel: You're just trying to shut me up, aren't you?
Sasha: No, seriously. Wikipedia is notorious for inaccurate stuff because just anybody can write or edit an article and get it on there. For all I know, Space: 1999 was really made in 1999.
Ariel: I -- but -- ugh. I'm just too exhausted to even figure this out.
Sasha: Okay. Anything else we should say about Space: 1999 before we call it a night?
Ariel: Ooh! GREAT theme song!
Sasha: It was pretty catchy, wasn't it?
Ariel: I guess they knew how to write 'em back in 1999.
Sasha: I ... sure.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, Moonbase!
