Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Way Too Much New Heroscape: Day 2!

Ariel: Yaaawwwwwnnnnnnn! Sheepers, what time is it?
Sasha: 5:30 ...
Ariel: What?! How am I up so early??? This has to be a new record!
Sasha: ... in the afternoon.
Ariel: Oh. Wow, I must've been really tired!
Sasha: No comment. Are you ready to build this Heroscape map and play with the new figures now?
Ariel: Without even having any breakfast?
Sasha: You had breakfast at noon. Then you said you needed an after-breakfast nap.
Ariel: Oh yeah.
Sasha: So now do you need lunch or dinner before we can play?
Ariel: No, I guess I'm good.
Sasha: Great! Let's get building.
Ariel: Yeah! What kinda map are we going to make?
Sasha: I dunno, let's just wing it as we go.
Ariel: Ooh, "wing it!" Haha.
Sasha: Why are you laughing?
Ariel: Because a couple of your guys you picked last night have wings, and some of mine do too. So there's a boatload of wings in this matchup.
Sasha: Okay, I get it now.
Ariel: You weren't trying to be funny?
Sasha: No, but I'm glad it tickled you.
Ariel: Hahaha! You're a riot, Sash!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Oh. You know, because your guys have wings with feathers, and feathers tickle. So you didn't mean that one either?
Sasha: No. But look, it's your bedtime already!
Ariel: Huh? No it's not.
Sasha: That time I was joking. You know, because time flies when you're having fun, and these guys with wings can fly?
Ariel: I mean, your dudes can, but mine can't. They're gliders. Plus, it doesn't seem like you're having that much fun so far, so obviously I wasn't going to get that one.
Sasha: Ugh. Anyway, here -- put these big map pieces together.
Ariel: Sure!
Sasha and Ariel: (build, build, build)
Sasha: That's looking pretty good. Do we want to put some trees on there?
Ariel: Heck, yeah! How about one here ... and another one here. I wish we had more, though.
Sasha: I think we do have more somewhere, they're just from the old old Heroscape stuff MSG has had for longer than he's known us.
Ariel: Never mind, then. It'll be way to much work to dig those out.
Sasha: I'm pretty sure they're just in that closet over there.
Ariel: All the way over there? No thanks, I'm all comfy and settled in here by the map we're building. Let's put on some of these walls instead of more trees.
Sasha: Whatever. How about some here, and here, and one of these ruined pieces over here.
Ariel: Sweet! This map is looking awesome. Can we put some water on too? Like, maybe there's a spring on top of this hill and a stream running down to a pond right about there.
Sasha: Sounds cool. Here, let me put the first piece on the top of the hill ... sproinngg!
Ariel: What was that?
Sasha: Oh, come on. It was the sound a spring makes.
Ariel: No, I think it's more like, glubble, glubble, glubble.
Sasha: The other kind of --
Ariel: Haha, I totally fooled you! I got it right away. "Sproinngg!" That was pretty good, actually.
Sasha: Okay. So are we done with this map, do you think?
Ariel: Yeah, it looks pretty kickin' to me!

Sasha: Me too. So, do you remember how to play?
Ariel: Basically. Except maybe for a couple things.
Sasha: Well, think really hard, because anything you don't remember I'm going to make you look up in the rulebook and read yourself.
Ariel: I totally just remembered everything.
Sasha: Uh-huh. So first we're going to roll to see who puts down their first card of figures first.
Ariel: Yeah, I definitely remembered that.
Sasha: Cool beans. Go ahead and roll, then.
Ariel: ...
Sasha: It's the 20-sided die.
Ariel: I knew that! There, I got a 6.
Sasha: I got an 18.
Ariel: Waaah, now you're going to win for sure!
Sasha: I guess we're done playing, then. That was easy.
Ariel: Hey, I was joking!
Sasha: Anyway, I won the roll, so I get to say who goes first. And I pick ... you!
Ariel: Oh, dang. I totally wasn't ready for that.
Sasha: Who ya gonna put down, and where?
Ariel: Obviously, my big hoofster dude. And ... right about here. Your turn!
Sasha: I'll put down these two Kyrie ladies here and here.
Ariel: Hey!
Sasha: What? That's a perfectly good place to put them.
Ariel: No, I just noticed that one has bat wings instead of feathery wings. So I was only half as tickled as you thought.
Sasha: Who are you putting down next?
Ariel: My only ones left, Owl-Shoe and Kitty-Dog. Annnd ... I'll put them over here. My other guys don't go on the map until later.
Sasha: I know. I read their cards. I'm putting my Oathbound Phalanx here.
Ariel: Ick! The Pile-o-Spiders!
Sasha: And it says I can put any or all of my Oathbound Legionnaires on its card, so I put them all on.
Ariel: What next?
Sasha: Here's the rulebook.
Ariel: Dang it, Sash, you were supposed to be joking about that!
Sasha: Fine, I'll just tell you.
Ariel: Thanks! You're a great girlfriend.
Sasha: Mostly I'm giving in because I don't want to have to wait forever for you to find the rule you're looking for.
Ariel: Well ... that's kind of sucky of you to say. But you're still a great girlfriend.
Sasha: Really? I just love how sweet you are sometimes, Aers.
Ariel: Actually I was only trying to make you take it easy on me so I'll win.
Sasha: Not happening. Anyway, what we do now is put our order markers on our cards.
Ariel: Mmm ... done!
Sasha: Me too.
Ariel: Now we roll for initiative! I remembered that bit! 15!
Sasha: 7, so you go first!
Ariel: Super-cool! So, I could roll the 20-sided die to see if I can bring Tuck Hair Again into the game. He's the jet-pack squirrel. But I don't think I'm going to right now. Instead, it's the Horny Hoofster's turn!
Sasha: That's what you're going with to call him?
Ariel: Yep, and with his Command Familiar power, he's gonna give ... Kitty-Dog a turn first. Kitty-Dog's going to run over here, one, two, three, four, five, six spaces. Arf! Then Horny Hoofster is following. He'll go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven because he's crazy fast. Now he's almost right behind KD.
Sasha: My turn?
Ariel: Yeah, that's all I can do.
Sasha: My first order marker is on ... the Pile-o-Spiders!
Ariel: Ewww! Why are you calling them that instead of their real name?
Sasha: Because that's what you're calling them, and you obviously think they're creepy. I'm moving him right here. That's my whole turn.
Ariel: Dang, he's slow. Okay, my marker number two is -- oops, wait! Before I reveal it, I get to roll for Tuck Hair Again! 16, yes! I'm putting him up here by the spring ... sproinngg! And I'm moving these two order markers onto him! Double-extra-ka-sproinngg! Then I'm revealing this one to show he's going on number 2!
Sasha: You were just waiting to spring that trap, weren't you?
Ariel: I sure was!
Sasha: I said, waiting to spring that trap.
Ariel: Right, I admitted I was.
Sasha: (sigh)
Ariel: Anyhow, THA jetpack squirrel has range of 6, so he doesn't even have to move to blast your pile-o-spiders with an attack of 3, plus 1 for being up high compared to your guy. That's 4 dice! Ka-pow!
Sasha: Looks like only one skull.
Ariel: Booooo.
Sasha: Pile-o-Spiders rolls its 3 defense ... one shield, no problemo.
Ariel: Bleh.
Sasha: Okay, well I'd be crazy to keep climbing that hill and letting you blast me. It'll take forever for me to get to you. So I'm moving the SpiderPile over here behind the wall where you can't see him. That's my marker number 2.
Ariel: Ha! I fooled you into thinking my number 3 was Tuck, when it was really the wingy glider guys! I only get to put one of them on the board, but I can put him right here and he's way away from SpiderPile but close enough to shoot with 3 dice!
Sasha: Did you get some strategy advice from MSG or something?
Ariel: No. Honest, no! We didn't tell him we found all the new figures and got them out, remember? So I didn't want to chance it. Dang! Only one skull again!
Sasha: Two shields this time. My number 3 is ... Kilkorax. She flies over here and is going to use her Witchcraft Telekinesis on your squirrelly hair-tucker.
Ariel: What?! What's that do?
Sasha: If I roll a 17 or higher, she gets to drag him down here next to her with her mind.
Ariel: Hey!
Sasha: But I fail. So the round's over.
Ariel: New order markers, right?
Sasha: Right.
Ariel: Okay, I'm set.
Sasha: Me too. And I roll a 20 for initiative!
Ariel: Agh, no fair! I only roll a 10.
Sasha: Yes! The SpiderPile is gonna spit out a load of spiders! Then he's going to move up here next to Kilkorax and whack her with this All As One special attack. It's the same number of dice as my normal attack, but if I roll all skulls, you can't roll any defense dice and your figure is straight up dead.
Ariel: Wait, what?
Sasha: You heard right. Here we go ... come on, skulls! Rats, only 1 skull.
Ariel: That's still terrifying! I hate this Pile-o-Spiders!
Sasha: Oh. Wait. I got so excited about trying out this attack power, I wasn't paying attention. Kilkorax is my guy, not yours. That was my plan for if I yanked the Hairy Squirrel down next to me.
Ariel: OMG, thank goodness. That SpiderPile is such a pile of ick, I didn't even notice you were attacking yourself. Haha, now you have to roll defense dice against your own guy!
Sasha: I dunno ... I'm not sure if the rules even let you attack your own figures ... lemme look it up.
Ariel: Pretty sure you can because there's some of those special attacks and powers that will roast your own dudes if you're not careful how you aim them.
Sasha: Yeah, I guess you're right. This sucks.
Ariel: Oh, man, now I really wish you'd rolled all skulls!
Sasha: Well, I didn't and Kilkorax rolls 1 shield, so she's fine.
Ariel: You totally wasted your turn though, haha!
Sasha: Not totally, because now I get to go with the spiders my Pile dropped off.
Ariel: Woop.
Sasha: They're going to scurry over here and swarm Owly, cause they're fast! And they've got 3 attack each. Two skulls on Owly for the first one.
Ariel: Eek! No shields! Owl-Shoe's almost dead! Nooo!
Sasha: Next spider ... 1 skull.
Ariel: I block it. Whew!
Sasha: Last one ... 2 skulls again!
Ariel: Three shields! Yay, Owl-Shoe!
Sasha: I'll get him next time. Who's your first order marker on?
Ariel: THA Squirrel! He's flying over here where your witchy wing-lady can't see him and he can pop one of those spiders. 4 attack dice cause he's higher than it is! What?! Only 1 skull. These dice tonight!
Sasha: You just got 3 shields on a 3-die roll! What are you complaining about?
Ariel: I guess you're right. 
Sasha: Spider defends with ... whoa, look at that! 3 shields for me too!
Ariel: Copycat.
Sasha: My number 2 is Kilkorax. She'll fly up on top of the hill and try telekinesing your glider dude, since I can't see the squirrel. Plus he's a squad figure, so I only need an 8 or higher ... what the crap? I roll a 1.
Ariel: This is going to be a long game if we don't start rolling better on our attacks! Tell you what, I'll start.
Sasha: Haha. Go ahead and try it.
Ariel: My number 2 is the Hoofster, so he's giving Owl-Shoe a turn to start with. Owl-Shoe's going to screechity-screech at your spiders, twice! Two skulls on the first one! But no skulls on the second one.
Sasha: I roll no shields. One spider down.
Ariel: Now Horny Hoofster hoofs it over here and smacks the next spider with 5 dice! Two skulls ... not great, but ....
Sasha: Only one shield, so it's enough.
Ariel: Yes!
Sasha: My number 3 is Mielki the Kyrie Warrior.
Ariel: You should have her fly over and attack that Pile-o-Spiders that tried to kill her friend.
Sasha: Even if I wanted to, her movement's only 5, so she's too far away. She'll just fly up here near Kilkorax. Who's your third order marker on?
Ariel: Vorid Glide Strikers! A new one swoops in up here, and the old one flies over next to him. They're both going to shoot Milky from higher up, so they get 3 dice each! 3 skulls! And then 2 skulls!
Sasha: Oof. Mielki has 3 defense ... I roll no shields ... and 1 shield. Wow, that's all but 1 of her wounds.
Ariel: Haha, I guess you could knock her over with a feather now, huh?
Sasha: The way I'm rolling, yeah.
Ariel: New order markers?
Sasha: Unless you have some secret power that lets you slam on me even more.
Ariel: Nope. Let's go!
Sasha: There. Ready for initiative.
Ariel: Me too ... 7.
Sasha: That's a break at least ... I get a 9. Okay, Mielki's got to do some damage before she eats it. She's flying 5 spaces over this way where she can attack Kita from elevation.
Ariel: Noo, Kitty-Dog!
Sasha: She starts off with 4 dice ...
Ariel: Ack!
Sasha: And gets 1 extra for height ...
Ariel: Double ack!
Sasha: Close ... Double Attack. She gets to attack twice every round.
Ariel: You're kidding!
Sasha: I'm not. Schwack! Two skulls.
Ariel: Come on, Kitty, Kitty ... one shield.
Sasha: Second attack ... 3 skulls!
Ariel: Dead. That's so sad!
Sasha: Don't mess with the Kyries.
Ariel: Well, my number 1 marker is on my glidey guys, so glider number three is swooping down here to shoot at your last spider. The other two are gonna shoot at Milky first, then at Kilky if Milky bites it. Spider! One skull.
Sasha: One shield.
Ariel: Milky! Three skulls!
Sasha: That die is sorta cocked.
Ariel: Only sorta! You can tell it was gonna be a skull if it went all the way flat!
Sasha: Fine. Only two shields, so she's dead. But on the plus side, if I lose this game I can say it was because I let you have that cocked die.
Ariel: You can say it, but that won't make it true. Last glidey guy on ... Kilky! Only one skull.
Sasha: She's safe with one shield. And it's her turn next. She moves right here and attacks this glider with 4 dice. Three skulls.
Ariel: They only have 2 defense, so he's toast.
Sasha: That's it for Kilkorax.
Ariel: Well guess what? My next turn is with the gliders again! My last one swoops down to the top of the hill, and this other one flies up there next to him, so they're both higher up than Kilky. Kablam! Kablam! One skull ... and two skulls.
Sasha: Two shields, and one shield, so she takes one wound.
Ariel: Ha-hah! Oh, oops. I forgot I was going to try killing Milky. Well, I still have this one over here to shoot at your spider with. Die, spider! Three skulls!
Sasha: One shield. You make a spider-shaped smear out of it.
Ariel: Serves it right!
Sasha: Kilkorax's turn again ... oh, great, now I roll three shields. And a blank, so your glider doesn't even need to defend.
Ariel: Ha-ha! My marker is on Horny Hoofster. He and Owl-Shoe want revenge on Milky! Owl-Shoe flies over here, which puts him higher up than her, and he's using a normal attack to get the extra higher-up die ... three skulls!
Sasha: Looks like he beaks her to death. Only 1 shield.
Ariel: Nice!
Sasha: I guess we know where my order markers are going. 
Ariel: Huh? I don't.
Sasha: Oh, wait, I don't either. For some reason you killed Mielki and it's like my brain decided that killed Kilkorax too.
Ariel: Not to be mean, but you're kind of stinking at this game tonight, Sash.
Sasha: No kidding. Okay, now I'm ready for initiative.
Ariel: That's a whole 1 for me.
Sasha: 7 for me. My SpiderPile drops a spider off here and climbs up to attack your glider guy on the hill. One skull.
Ariel: Two shields!
Sasha: Now I get a turn with the spider, which climbs up to attack the same guy ... one skull again.
Ariel: One shield.
Sasha: Fat lotta good winning initiative did me.
Ariel: Gliders, attack! This one flies here to whomp on Kilky ... zero skulls. Then the next guy ... 1 skull.
Sasha: One shield.
Ariel: Last guy has to attack this SpiderPile.
Sasha: Right, because you can't attack with range if an enemy is adjacent to you.
Ariel: You can't? I was just attacking it because it's so creeply-scary. Anyway, two skulls on SpiderPile.
Sasha: Zero shields.
Ariel: Wow, I'm starting to feel bad about this.
Sasha: It's not over yet! Kilkorax takes a turn. She's going to try mind-yanking your gliders. She can try it on two of them, if she misses the first one. 17! Got him! Now she attacks him with 4 dice! For ... 1 whole skull.
Ariel: Two shields! My turn! Horny Hoofster is number 2. He'll move Owl-Shoe up next to this glider to attack with 3 dice. 2 skulls!
Sasha: Fresh outta shields. He's dead.
Ariel: Now the Hoofster goes. He's hoofing it up here to attack Kilky with 5 dice ... 4 skulls!
Sasha: She gets an extra die for elevation, but only rolls 1 shield.
Ariel: Lucky! Without that extra die you'd be dead-dead.
Sasha: Oh, yeah, real lucky. I've got 3 figures left with 1 life each. Meanwhile, you're still at 5 guys, and your centaur has, what ... seven life? What the hell?
Ariel: I can't help it if I picked better figures. Anyhoo, your turn.
Sasha: My last marker is on the SpiderPile. He climbs up here to attack this glider. For 1 measly skull.
Ariel: Two shields!
Sasha: Ugh. And the spider gets a turn ... two skulls.
Ariel: One shield! See, you're doing great!
Sasha: Oh, yeah, you're totally on the ropes.
Ariel: My number 3 is the Hoofster. Owl-Shoe flies up here where he can beak at Kilky with 4 dice! Let's see ... 2 skulls!
Sasha: Two shields. Pretty much just prolonging the agony.
Ariel: Hoofster's turn! He slashes Kilky for 3 skulls!
Sasha: Pretty sure we used up our allotment of 3-shield defense rolls this game ... oh, now that's just cruel. Two shields, but did you see that one die?
Ariel: Yeah, it was totally going to be a shield if you had just breathed on it hard before it flopped back down to a blank.
Sasha: She's dead. Now we know where all my order markers go.
Ariel: Huh? You've got a spider and a SpiderPile. You could split them up.
Sasha: I could, but I'm not gonna.
Ariel: Well, if you're putting all yours on SpiderPile, I'll put all mine on Horny Hoofster. No, I guess this one on THA Squirrel.
Sasha: That's your bluff marker, isn't it?
Ariel: Maybe.
Sasha: I roll 17 for initiative.
Ariel: 2 for me.
Sasha: SpiderPile attacks Owly. Uh-huh. Now I get proved wrong about using up all our 3-shields rolls.
Ariel: That's pretty sad, Sash.
Sasha: Tell me about it. Now it's the spider's turn, and he's gonna climb aboard the Pile.
Ariel: He can do that?
Sasha: Yeah, that lets me use the All As One special attack and it also means I can sacrifice that spider to survive any attack that would do wounds to me.
Ariel: Dang, no wonder you put all your markers on SpiderPile.
Sasha: Your turn.
Ariel: Hoofster tells Owl-Shoe to mess your pile up! You get beaked for 2 skulls!
Sasha: Only one shield, so there goes my last spider.
Ariel: Yeah! Hoofster's turn! All I can do is try to climb around this direction, though, because he's a two-space figure and he won't fit in any of the spaces next to the pile that he can get to this turn.
Sasha: SpiderPile attacks Owl-Shoe. One skull.
Ariel: Two shields. Owl-Shoe beaks you back! One skull.
Sasha: Two shields. SpiderPile attacks Owl-Shoe for ... three skulls! Finally!
Ariel: Can I, can I, can I -- nope. Not only do I not get 3 shields, I don't get any. Owl-Shoe!
Sasha: Not that it does me much good.
Ariel: No, because Horny Hoofster is em-ay-dee MAD now, Mister SpiderPile! He moves over here and ka-SLICE-O! Two skulls.
Sasha: One shield. Game over.
Ariel: Woohoo! I rock!
Sasha: Winner puts the game away.
Ariel: WHAT?!?
Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Way Too Much New Heroscape!

Sasha: Holy moley, would you look at this?!
Ariel: Okay! Um ... look at what? You got all the Heroscape out again?
Sasha: No -- this is all new Heroscape.
Ariel: It is? OMG, you're RIGHT! Where did all of that come from???
Sasha: I'm gonna say our boyfriend ordered it and then hid it from us when it showed up.
Ariel: What! That's not very like him at all! Why would he do that? Are you sure?
Sasha: Well, you know, remember -- we did hide the first batch of Heroscape stuff from him when they delivered it. And by "we," I mean, "you."
Ariel: Oh yeah.
Sasha: Do you wanna get it all out of these boxes?
Ariel: Sure!
Sasha and Ariel: (open, open, unbox, extract, extract ...)
Sasha: Whew, they sure do make it a lot of work getting these things out of the packaging.
Ariel: No kidding! But wow, look at them all!

Sasha: That's gotta be more figures than in the first two whole sets that we played with.
Ariel: Do you think?
Sasha: Let's count them and find out!
Ariel: Ehh ... I'll just trust you on that. It sounds like a lot of work and plus I want to start playing asap.
Sasha: Which guys do you think you want to be?
Ariel: I don't know! Sheesh, I only just barely saw them this very minute!
Sasha: Okay, then  --
Ariel: OOH! This horsey guy with horns on his head.
Sasha: Centaur.
Ariel: No, they're totally on the sides of his head. If he had a horn in the center, he'd be a unicorn. Even I know that.
Sasha: No, a centaur is half man and half horse.
Ariel: But he's got to be half something else too, or why would he have these horns?
Sasha: Maybe they're part of a helmet or headdress? Anyway, what's his card say about him?
Ariel: Let's see ... his name is "Halushia, Scion of the Wild." I guess that answers that. A scion must be a guy who's half man and half horse and half horns.
Sasha: I think a scion is just an offspring or a descendent, actually.
Ariel: Okay, only I don't care anymore because he has that same "Command Familiar" power as your octopus chick from the other time we played! So I could totally use him with Owl-Shoe and that kitty-dog you used to wipe the floor with me.
Sasha: Sure, go for it. Is that all he does?
Ariel: He also has "Ride-by Special Attack!" So somebody gets to ride him, I guess ... except he doesn't have a saddle ...
Sasha: Maybe they ride him bareback.
Ariel: No way. It would be so dumb to call it "Ride-by Special Attack" when you could call it "Bareback Special Attack."
Sasha: Read the rules on the card, then. How do they ride him?
Ariel: Er ... that's weird, it doesn't say anything about anybody riding him. That makes the name even dumber, then, because he's still bareback even if no one's riding him, so they could still call it "Bareback Special Attack," only they didn't.
Sasha: I guess you don't have to play him, then, if he's that dumb.
Ariel: No, it's a cool power! It's just a dumb name. I'll have to call it something else, like ... "Hoof-by Stab-You-In-The-Eye." Or maybe "Gallup-by, something something."
Sasha: "Gallup-by, Wallop-a-Guy."
Ariel: Hot dang, yes!
Sasha: Is that all you're going to play, then? Halushia and Owly and Kita?
Ariel: I don't know. I guess that doesn't seem like very many guys. What about those wing dudes and that squirrel with a jet-pack?
Sasha: Let's see, the cards say they're the "Vorid Strike Gliders" and "Wing Commander Tuck Harrigan."
Ariel: Did he already tuck his hair once?
Sasha: No, "Harrigan." It's a name, see?
Ariel: I'm going to call him Tuck Hair Again anyway. It sounds more fun.
Sasha: It sounds exactly the same.
Ariel: We'll both know what I'm saying.
Sasha: So. Those cards all together add up to ... 325 points. I guess I'd better find 325 points worth of guys from all these other ones.
Ariel: Don't play that one there, ick!
Sasha: Why not?
Ariel: It looks like a pile of spiders.
Sasha: Yaassss, that's awesome!
Ariel: No, it's totally ick!
Sasha: I'm playing it. And it looks like it goes with these individual spidery guys too. "Oathbound Phalanx" and "Oathbound Legionnaires."
Ariel: More spiders? No way.
Sasha: They're only a hundred thirty points together, so I still need, what, 195 more? Hmm. What the heck, these two Kyrie Warriors are 100 and 95 points, so if I take them I'm done. Their names are Kilkorax and Mielki.
Ariel: I'm glad none of my characters is named "Korax." And I'm definitely not scared of somebody named Milky. So I guess that makes up for you taking a bunch of horrible spiders.
Sasha: Okay, so ... now we --
Ariel: Omg, look what time it is.
Sasha: Uh ... 8:30? Is there a show coming on or something?
Ariel: No, I just think that's too late to start putting together a battlefield map and then playing.
Sasha: Pretty sure we could put a map together in 10 minutes and play in less than an hour.
Ariel: Yeah, but then it'll be my bedtime, and if your Pile-o-Spiders kills my guys really bad, it might give me nightmares.
Sasha: Seriously?
Ariel: I mean, it might. Why risk it? We can just play tomorrow.
Sasha: All right. I guess that's okay. That's it for this post, then?
Ariel: It better be, 'cause if I start looking closer at all those other new figures, I might change my mind and want to play some of them instead.
Sasha: I guess we can pack it in, then.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... so ... many ... tears ...

Ariel: Are we recovered enough to do this?
Sasha: I don't know, but Claire shoved the laptop at me and said it was our turn to blog, so here we are.
Ariel: Uh-huh. But if we're not recovered enough, we could blog about a different thing we've experienced and not ... sniff ...
Sasha: Don't start crying! You're going to make me cry too!
Ariel: I can't help it, it was just so sad!
Sasha: Yeah, but if you're crying all over the place and saying how sad it was, that's totally spoiling the fact that it was sad, because we haven't told our readers to put on their spoiler blankets.
Ariel: Well ... but I think we need to make an exception for this one, because if they don't know it's sad beforehand, they might read it thinking it's going to be happy, and then they'll be so sad that it's soooo saaaad! Blawwhhh!
Sasha: Come on, get ahold of yourself! After we blew it so bad last time blogging about Loomboo, we can't have another of these blog posts where we don't actually say anything about the thing we're posting about!
Ariel: We already did say something about it ... it's SAD.
Sasha: But people don't even know what it is yet. We have to at least say the title.
Ariel: I can't. You do it.
Sasha: Fine, okay. Um ... we, uh, read ... this ... uh ...
Ariel: See?! You can't say it either!
Sasha: WereadthismangacalledTheSummerYouWereThere! There, I did it.
Ariel: BWAAAHHH!
Sasha: ... gk ...
Ariel: (sob!)
Sasha: hff ... hff ... whhh ...
Ariel: sniff ... bluh ... we need to ... just shut the computer ... before we get it so wet and teary it short circuits ...
Sasha: No. Woosh .... Deep breaths. Here, have a hanky. We've got to get through this.
Ariel: I need two.
Sasha: Here.
Ariel: Actually now I think I need two more.
Sasha: I don't have any more. Do you want me to get you a whole towel?
Ariel: no, that's okay.
Sasha: You don't sound like it, but all right. So ... what I think we need to do is try talking about all the parts of the manga that were beautiful and sweet and cute and even uplifting.
Ariel: But those parts were sad too!
Sasha: No they weren't -- I mean, not all of them anyway.
Ariel: Name one!
Sasha: Um ... like ... well, it wasn't sad when Kaori started their relationship off with that wacky idea.
Ariel: Waaaahhhhh, you said her name!!!!
Sasha: Look, I really think we ought to tell people to put their spoiler blankets on, if even just one of the characters' name makes you bawl like that.
Ariel: you tell them, i can't.
Sasha: Yeesh. Okay, people, put your spoiler blankets on if you don't want things spoiled about The Summer You Were --
Ariel: DOOMED.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: We always make up our own names and titles for things, and I think we need to just be honest and call this story The Summer You Were DOOMED.
Sasha: Don't you think that's a little over the top? I mean, even just thinking a little about the fact that it's called The Summer You Were There will make most people realize it's implying that whoever the "you" is, they aren't there anymore.
Ariel: It doesn't have to imply that! Maybe, maybe it could be talking about "you" being "there" while whoever the "me" person is, is like "over here." And then after the summer ends they might be in the same place instead of one being here and the other being there.
Sasha: But you see them together on literally page one.
Ariel: I know, but ... at least you would have that blank page between the title on the cover and the first page of the story to think maybe it was going to be a happy story.
Sasha: I mean ... but if you really think about it, it was at least a partly happy story.
Ariel: WHAT!!!!!
Sasha: Sheesh! Don't shake me like that -- you're going to pop a button off my shirt.
Ariel: I just don't know how you could even say it was a partly happy story.
Sasha: Because of the last line of the story? And then especially because of the epilogue?
Ariel: Wait. What do you mean?
Sasha: Just that, well, in the epilogue --
Ariel: There was an EPILOGUE?!?
Sasha: Omg, Aers. You were right there with me when we got to the end.
Ariel: Yeah, but then I was crying so loud ...
Sasha: Really? So you didn't see me turning the pages on the Kindle through any of that whole extra chapter.
Ariel: Well I was also squirting so many tears out of my eyes ...
Sasha: But then I'm pretty sure I went on and on about how amazed I was for at least five minutes!
Ariel: And you didn't notice me ugly crying so much I couldn't say anything back to you that whole time? I can't believe you didn't stop me and tell me there was an epilogue!
Sasha: Look, I was crying a lot too even though it was beautiful.
Ariel: Stop it, you big liar.
Sasha: No, seriously. Here, look, I'll get it to the right place. There. That's the start of the epilogue.
Ariel: ...
Ariel: ...
Ariel: ...
Ariel: ...
Ariel: BWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! It's so beautiful!!! Glaarghlll ... !
Sasha: Okay, folks. I guess that better be enough for tonight.
Sasha: (But seriously, you should probably read this manga if you don't mind a tear-jerkery kind of story!)

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Living With My Brother's Wife!

Sasha: OMG, what did we just do to ourselves?
Ariel: Hang on hang on! Before we can talk about that we've got to tell everybody we don't either of us have any brothers! Otherwise they might think the title means we actually experience living with our brother's wife and not a comic called Living With My Brother's Wife.
Sasha: Are you sure that doesn't count as a spoiler? Maybe you should tell them to put their spoiler blankets over their heads if they don't want to find out ahead of time whether one of us has a brother and we live with his wife.
Ariel: Oh no. I'm so conflicted! It's terrible spoiling things for people, but I also don't want them thinking they're going to get a post about us being in some weird racy living situation and then being disappointed when we just talk about a comic.
Sasha: Well, the good news is, you already spoiled that part, so it's too late to do anything about it.
Ariel: Ugh. Now I'm conflicted about whether to feel relieved about nobody getting confused or guilty about everybody getting it spoiled for them.
Sasha: Quick, then -- tell them to put their spoiler blankets on before you decide which emotion to feel. Also, before we start talking about this manga.
Ariel: Mang- ... ack! I forgot it was a manga and called it a comic! Now I definitely feel embarrassed more than anything else.
Sasha: We literally read it in an app that has "Manga" right there in the name of it. Didn't you see it every time we opened the app up to read a chapter?
Ariel: No, I was always busy getting popcorn while you were getting the app ready. Then before I could finish making the popcorn you were always bugging me to hurry up because you got the app ready way faster than I could microwave the popcorn. So that's probably why I got flustered and confused about whether it was a manga or a comic.
Sasha: Really? Because I was assuming what you were confused about was whether it was a manga or a movie. Who makes popcorn to read a manga?
Ariel: Duh, me obviously. Especially with this manga because it was soooo long if you added all the chapters together, and my hands would get all fidgety once we were reading for a while if I didn't have popcorn to eat.
Sasha: I kept saying we could take turns turning the pages on the tablet if you wanted to. Then you'd have had something to do with your hands.
Ariel: But I'd get popcorn butter all over the tablet screen.
Sasha: I meant working the tablet instead of eating popcorn, not working it while still eating popcorn.
Ariel: My fingertip would get all tired and sore from so much swiping then, though. Like, every single page you have to swipe, and then if one of us says, "Huh? I didn't quite follow that, go back a page," there's even more swiping. Plus when there's a really great picture and we want to zoom in on it, there's all that pinching and then more swiping to move around and see the whole picture in closeup and then unpinching to see the page again.
Sasha: So ultimately, you were eating popcorn the whole time just because you're lazy.
Ariel: Am not! Just that one fingertip.
Sasha: This is even more tiring than reading all 150 of those chapters in Living With My Brother's Wife.
Ariel: You mean "Loomboo."
Sasha: What?
Ariel: Here, this proves I'm not lazy because I did some homework!
Sasha: What are you talking about?
Ariel: Well, the abbreviation for Living With My Brother's Wife would be LWMBW. But if you say that, it's actually more syllables than just saying Living With My Brother's Wife, because of the W's. So I went and asked Hettie's help on a better abbreviation and she said it doesn't need to be any different because even though nobody knows this, the letter W can be a vowel!
Sasha: No it can't. That's ridiculous. The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y. Everybody knows that.
Ariel: Except it's really "and also even sometimes-er, W." Here, look what happens when I google this word, "cwm."
Sasha: That's not a word.
Ariel: No, look!
Sasha: What the ... "a steep-sided hollow at the head of a valley or on a mountainside?!?"
Ariel: And look here when I put in "crwth."
Sasha: "A bowed string instrument that was once common in Europe???" Is this a joke?
Ariel: No, there's tons of them!
Sasha: Show me.
Ariel: Well ... probably there's tons of them.
Sasha: Okay, but at least show me a couple more.
Ariel: Well ...
Sasha: So there's only two?
Ariel: I mean, those are the only two Hettie knew about.
Sasha: Hettie only knew two? Seriously, this is not a real thing if even Hettie only knows two words where it happens.
Ariel: Gasp! Are you dissing something Hettie said about words?
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Are you?
Sasha: Okay, no. I guess if Hettie thinks they're words --
Ariel: And they're right there in the dictionary, and online!
Sasha: You can't believe anything you read online! And the dictionary ... could have typos. But I guess if Hettie confirmed they're words, I'm going to believe it.
Ariel: Ha! Anyway, you say W like "ooh" when it's a vowel, so instead of saying LWMBW as "el-double-you-em-bee-double-you," you can just say "loomboo." See? Done! Easy! Look how much trouble I saved us from, having to say the whole title every time we wanted to mention it or having to spell LWMBW out loud! Instead of seven or nine syllables, it's just two.
Sasha: So ... you went to all the effort to find that out and explain it to me, just so you could be lazy and say fewer syllables?
Ariel: It's not -- okay, maybe it's a little bit lazy. But you get to be lazy using it too! I'm just totally helping out here!
Sasha: Not really, because now I'm exhausted. And I was already exhausted by reading so many chapters of ... of ...
Ariel: Say it!
Sasha: Ugh. Okay ... loomboo.
Ariel: See how easy that was?
Sasha: I mean ... yes. All right, it was easier. But I'm still exhausted. I don't think I have the strength left to actually talk about the manga tonight.
Ariel: No problem. We can just do a Part Two.
Sasha: This isn't even a Part One! We didn't say anything about the manga. We didn't even say that we liked it!
Ariel: Sash, people are smart. I'm pretty sure if we say we read 150 chapters of a manga, they can figure out we must've liked it.
Sasha: Sure, I guess. Also, it was even more than that, I just rounded 156 down to 150.
Ariel: What! That's so lazy! You're just as bad as me!
Sasha: Uh ... goodnight, everybody.
Ariel: Tune in next time for Part Two!

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... So Much Band-Maid!

Sasha: Okay. Do you think we're finally ready to talk about Band-Maid?

Ariel: Haven't we already talked about them?

Sasha: I mean here on the blog.

Ariel: Oh! Well, I mean, we could have talked about them here a long time ago, couldn't we?

Sasha: Sure, we could have, we just didn't. We could have talked about them three years ago.

Ariel: Three years! We've only been listening to them since May!

Sasha: Yeah, but Akane got here three years ago and played us different videos by different bands from Japan that she liked, and Band-Maid was one of them.

Ariel: Were they? I think if they were I would have said, "Wait, stop showing us videos by different bands and just show us more of that one!"

Sasha: You only think that because we've been overdosing on Band-Maid for the last 4 or 5 months. Akane has really good taste in music, remember? All the videos she showed us were really cool, and the Band-Maid one was like, their first video that was 7 or 8 years old at the time.

Ariel: OMG.

Sasha: What?

Ariel: You always insult me by saying I'm so lazy --

Sasha: It's not really an insult ... more kinda like an observation.

Ariel: -- but now I just realized as far as all those videos she showed us, you're right. They were all so good, and while we were watching them I thought, ooh, I've got to watch more videos by that band. Oh, and that band too. And that one! But then when we finally turned off Metoob I was like, "Whew! It's late! I'm going to bed!" And when I got in bed, I was thinking, "Wow, so many great bands! Tomorrow morning when I get up I'm going to have to zzzzzzzz."

Sasha: You weren't thinking that, you actually said it out loud. Just a lot more mumbly. And probably you should have used all capital Z's there and put more of them, because the snoring was an ear-splitter.

Ariel: Was not! Elle says I have a cute snore.

Sasha: Elle would say that. 

Ariel: It's true!

Sasha: Well, most of the time, sure. But that time it was like GRWONNGKKK!

Ariel: ... mmph. If you say so. I guess I hope I didn't keep you awake making a noise like that.

Sasha: It was only 10:30, Aers. The rest of us stayed up for hours after that anyway.

Ariel: I don't know how you guys do it.

Sasha: Pretty much just by being normal people and not having anything to make us get up the next morning.

Ariel: I'm normal!

Sasha: I mean as far as how much sleep you need.

Ariel: Oh. Okay. Anyway, that next morning I tried to decide on some of those bands to listen to more of over breakfast, but it seemed like too hard a decision so I just ate my Golden Grahams instead and by the time I was done we all got to doing something else and I forgot to go back and listen. I could have been listening to Band-Maid this whole time if I hadn't been so lazy! And so hungry for breakfast, I guess. Maybe it was more the hungry.

Sasha: You're just saying that because you're starting to re-think admitting you're lazy.

Ariel: Well ... but ... if I was lazy, would I put so much energy into arguing over whether I'm lazy the way I always do?

Sasha: That's maybe a pretty good point, but how about if we get back to talking about Band-Maid?

Ariel: Sure, as long as you're admitting I proved I'm not lazy.

Sasha: I am way not admitting that, but let's pretend I am so we can finish this post today.

Ariel: Okay.

Sasha: Anyhow --

Ariel: (you are admitting it though!)

Sasha: -- as far as Band-Maid goes, we're ready to finally post about them, right?

Ariel: We'd better be, with all the work we just did getting this post started!

Sasha: So how are we going to dive into talking about them?

Ariel: We should link to that first video we watched of them, "Thrill."

Sasha: Sure, good idea.

Ariel: It will also give me a rest from all this talking I've been doing.

Sasha: Mm-hm. Here it is, then.

Thrill

Ariel: Wow. That's such an awesome video. I think I love it more every time we watch it. But why didn't you do that thing where people can just click on the picture and watch it here?

Sasha: There's some kind of block on the video, so that won't work.

Ariel: I just hate to make our readers do all the work of going to a whole other page and coming back.

Sasha: I set it so it opens in another window, which means they won't have to come back, just close the window when they're done.

Ariel: I guess if that's how we have to do it. It's still more work than I wish they had to do. What if they get tired and don't want to bother clicking it closed and shut their computer and go take a nap instead?

Sasha: Then both windows will still be open when they come back and open their computer later and because of us, they will have had a nap that apparently they really needed.

Ariel: Okay, I can deal with that.

Sasha: So what part is your favorite part of the video?

Ariel: Hmm. I think it's a tie between the way she says, "Heh" at the start of the song and the way she like, hangs her head and arms down and does that sort of super-low-energy head-banging. It's like, "Whoa, look at how much this chick rocks, and also what a great job she's doing conserving her energy." She's honestly kind of my hero for that.

Sasha: More than the guitarist being a hero?

Ariel: Well, with all the other Band-Maid videos we've seen, I know that the guitarist can kill it even better than she does in this video. But this one's the only one where the singer does that fuel-efficient head-bang. So what's your favorite part? Probably the drummer, right? 

Sasha: I do love her, especially with that cute tiny hat she wears. But it's kinda like you and the guitarist where in later videos she shows that she can just totally stomp the crud out of the drumming in this song -- which is saying something, since it's really good drumming even here.

Ariel: So ... is your favorite part the bass player and that cool slap bass solo she does?

Sasha: Actually, this is kind of goofy, but my favorite part is knowing that the rhythm guitarist couldn't actually play guitar when they made this video. If you watch, you can totally tell she's basically just using it as a prop while she's singing backing vocals.

Ariel: That seems kind of a mean thing to have as your favorite part.

Sasha: No, because it makes it even more amazing when you watch the videos from four or five years later and you're like, "Dang, she's really good on that guitar now."

Ariel: We should put one of those video links in here.

Sasha: Sure. Here, I think this is a good one.

Play

Ariel: Ooh, yeah, she's really fire in that one.

Sasha: Rock star.

Ariel: I don't think we're really telling people how much Band-Maid we've been listening too these last couple of months, though.

Sasha: I figured we were getting to it. Are you in a hurry?

Ariel: They're probably just wondering, is all. Since we put it in the title and everything.

Sasha: True. Anyway, it's a lot.

Ariel: Yeah, our boyfriend keeps buying more Band-Maid albums, and then on top of that we keep watching their videos, and then on top of that we keep watching those videos of people reacting to their videos.

Sasha: And then on top of that we watched those documentaries about each one of them too, remember?

Ariel: Oh yeah, those were really good!

Sasha: And we watched that episode of the Japanese travel show where the rhythm guitarist was being like a travel guide riding the train and going to that town and learning that fish-scooping dance.

Ariel: That was wild. I don't think anybody would watch that and figure out she was a rock star except for that one scene where they show her guitar.

Sasha: It's been a pretty excessive amount of watching stuff about them.

Ariel: But it's all so good!

Sasha: What's another one we should link to, then?

Ariel: The cartoon one!

Sasha: Excellent choice.

Unleash!

Ariel: That one's amazing.

Sasha: I would watch a whole anime series of that.

Ariel: Me too! Except you spelled it wrong.

Sasha: What?

Ariel: It's Unleash!!!!! With 5 exclamation marks.

Sasha: That's not really spelling.

Ariel: Yeah, but I'm not sure I'd spell the punk word right without looking it up and I don't want to have to do that. And if I tried I'd end up spelling it "puncturated" or something and you'd make fun of me.

Sasha: Probably I would, but I like calling it "the punk word." We'll have to remember that one.

Ariel: Not around Hettie, though. I don't think she'd like us making fun of punk mark rules.

Sasha: Anyway, how close do you think we are to wrapping this post up?

Ariel: Mmm ... maybe two more song links? There's no way we can have a post about listening to so much Band-Maid without playing the Hate? song and Freedom.

Sasha: Hate? is a good one. Definitely a song about a punk.

Ariel: Also he gets punctured pretty good in the lyrics, so you definitely have to remember the question mark.

Sasha: Here we go, then:

Hate?

Ariel: Oops. We should have told people to put their spoiler blankets on before showing them that picture though, on account of that guitar and bass part being so amazing.

Sasha: I don't think anything's going to be spoiled by just a picture. You can't figure out what that part's going to be like from a picture or from you saying it's amazing.

Ariel: Oh no! I did say that without telling them to put on their blankets!

Sasha: Seriously, I don't think it's a problem.

Ariel: I guess that's true. I mean, in all those reaction videos we've watched, pretty much every single time the person reacting pretty much freaks out at the start of that part and then keeps freaking out more the more it goes on.

Sasha: I could totally watch that part over and over again. The whole video, really. It's amazeballs.

Ariel: The Freedom video is even better, though.

Sasha: You think so?

Ariel: Uh-huh. Because when you're watching it, you're like, "OMG. These five people are having the best time any five people have ever had doing anything together in the whole history of everything."

Sasha: Wow. That's a pretty bold statement, considering some of us here think we can have a pretty good time doing some of the stuff we do together.

Ariel: Yeah, but there's seven of us, so it's kind of cheating comparing us to Band-Maid.

Sasha: Gotcha. Anyway, here's the video so people can judge for themselves.

Freedom

Ariel: The way they make everything they're doing look so chill and easy and fun, omg. They're just so awesome.

Sasha: And they rock SO HARD.

Ariel: Yeah, I guess we haven't really said all that much so far about their actual music ... what the heck?

Sasha: R - O - C - K, ROCK.

Ariel: Between all the albums MSG got and all the videos we've watched, we must have heard, like, a hundred dozen songs, and not one of them has been bad.

Sasha: Probably more like 70 or 80, I think. But yeah, they don't do filler songs like most bands do. Everything is a banger.

Ariel: If you listen really close, though, I think most of those 70 or 80 songs have enough music in them to count as 3 or 4 songs each, so I don't think a hundred dozen is that much of an exaggeration.

Sasha: Let's not get into the math it would take to figure that out.

Ariel: Major agree on that.

Sasha: Well, if we don't wrap this up we're going to start looking for what other Band-Maid songs we should link to, and that could take all night.

Ariel: Yeah, I'm good calling this one done.

Sasha and Ariel: See you later, everybody!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Even More Masterer Heroscape!

Sasha: Good morning!
Ariel: Ughhh ... what? Is it morning already?
Sasha: Yeah, but actually more like, almost afternoon. Why are you sleeping on the floor in the game r -- whoa. Look at that Heroscape map!
Ariel: I was up soooo late last night building it.
Sasha: It's huge! It looks great!
Ariel: Thanks ... it was exhausting, but once I got started I didn't want to go to bed until I finished.
Sasha: Wow. How late did you stay up?
Ariel: I don't know. Like, at least 10:30.
Sasha: Uh ... that's over 12 hours ago.
Ariel: Only 12?! After building that board, I figured I was going to need maybe 14 or 16 hours of sleep.
Sasha: That would be a lot even for you.
Ariel: You weren't there to see how hard this was!
Sasha: Well, here I am now. But you didn't put the figures on the board like the last couple of times. Did you give up because you were too tired?
Ariel: No. This scenario in the Master Set says you build your own army by getting rid of boats or something. So I had to wait for you.
Sasha: Getting rid of ... what?
Ariel: Look, right here. "Derafting."
Sasha: That's "Drafting." You added an extra "e."
Ariel: I told you I was tired!
Sasha: So did you figure out how we're supposed to do that?
Ariel: No, because I couldn't find any boats, so I figured we'd look for them in the morning.
Sasha: Well, now we don't need to. Let me see what the rules say.
Ariel: The book's over there.
Sasha: Hmm. Mm-hmm ... okay. So basically, we roll the 20-sided die. Whoever gets higher picks one army card to be in their army. Then the other person picks one army card, and we keep going back and forth until all the cards have been picked or we reach the point limit for the scenario. Is there a point limit?
Ariel: It says 400 points, which sounded like a lot of boats to get rid of to me, which is another reason I went to bed.
Sasha: All right, well, I don't think the cards we played with before even add up to 400 points per side, so it sounds like we'll have to be learning how some of these figures that came in the Master Set work. Do we want to include the ones from the smaller box too?
Ariel: OMG, no. That would be so many figures to pick from! Plus, we put that box away and I don't want to open it up and unpack all the bits again. 
Sasha: Here, then. Roll the 20-sider and let's get going.
Ariel: Ooh, I get a 16!
Sasha: 5 for me, so you pick first.
Ariel: Um, duh, I'm picking this gigantic one here. Xeni ... omg, his name is too long. I'm just going to call him X-tra Viney because there are too many extra letters in his first name and his last name is something to do with vines.
Sasha: "Xenithrax the Vineweaver." Yeah, Extra Viney is a lot easier. Holy crap! He's 200 points all by himself! That's half your total points.
Ariel: Yeah, I figure that will let me finish picking quicker and rest a little while you finish picking yours.
Sasha: All right, I'm picking this squad of pirates, since we haven't played with any squads yet. Knaves of the Silver Scimitar.
Ariel: Does it make sense that they're pirates and also that they're knavey? I thought pirates and the knavey were enemies.
Sasha: You pick your next army while I read their card and see if it says anything about that.
Ariel: I'm totally picking this other huge one, Raelin the Kyrie Warrior. She's only 100 points but she's almost as big as Extra Viney, which seems like a bargain to me. Plus they can both fly, and I think Flying is a pretty bad-ass power after the way your owly guy used it last game.
Sasha: Nothing about pirates and the navy on my Silver Scimitars card. My next pick is this Dwarf pirate, Dorim the Bulkhead Brawler. He's got a Chain Axe, which sounds pretty cool to me. Him plus the Knaves makes 165 points, so I've still got a lot left.
Ariel: Are you doing all pirates?
Sasha: I'm not saying, because if I am you might pick some of the pirate cards on purpose just so I can't take them.
Ariel: No, because there's another killer-looking chick with Flying, Lovey Attack the Kyrie Warrior. She's also got dots over one of her A's, which has to mean she's extra-killer.
Sasha: I think it means you say the second A a different way, but I don't know how, so I'll go on to picking my next card, which is Admiral EJ-1M. He's 170 points, so that uses up a good chunk of what I've got left.
Ariel: 170! That's almost as much as Extra Viney! But he looks so tiny next to Extra Viney. I'm going to call him Extra Tiny.
Sasha: I mean, his card says he's a Large figure, and he's bigger than your Lovey Attack chick.
Ariel: Not when you include her wings. They make her taller than him.
Sasha: Whatever. Do you have any points left?
Ariel: I have 20, but there aren't any cards that say 20 points. So I guess I'm done.
Sasha: I have 65 points left, so the only card I can afford is this Misaerx the Kyrie Warrior.
Ariel: Missa what?
Sasha: I'm not sure how you say it.
Ariel: I'm calling her "Missy," because I'm hoping she misses a lot when she attacks.
Sasha: So where do our figures go for this scenario?
Ariel: The booklet has these two areas marked with brown and with navy. You have to go in the navy part, because your dudes are Knavey.
Sasha: Does it say that?
Ariel: No, but it makes sense, doesn't it?
Sasha: I'm looking it up in the book. Oops. We were supposed to place each of our figures when we picked them. Since you went first that means you were supposed to place Extra Viney somewhere right then. So if you want me to be in the navy area, you can just put him in the brown area.
Ariel: I'm putting him right here so he's close to that big tall area in the middle. The scenario said after 4 turns, whoever controls more of those spaces wins so I want him to get there quick.
Sasha: All right. I'll put my Knaves here. 
Ariel: Raelin's gonna go here. Dang, Extra Viney is so big, it's hard to make her fit next to him!
Sasha: I'll put Dorim here, I guess.
Ariel: Okay, here's Lovey Attack then. 
Sasha: All right. I'm putting my Admiral here and Missy here.
Ariel: Ooh, Missy's right up front! Isn't she a cheap card too? She's gonna get waxed hard right away.
Sasha: Maybe. Did you read the rules for these glyph things on the board? I did, and I think they look pretty important. Especially since Extra Viney has his own glyphs he can put down.
Ariel: No. I guess I'd better. Can I have that scenario book they're in?
Sasha: Here you go.
Ariel: Hmm. Wait, what? This one says it makes a big wind that keeps people from flying! That would totally suck for me!
Sasha: Kind of, yeah.
Ariel: And you put your Missy gal where she could fly right to it!
Sasha: That's true.
Ariel: I hate this! She's going down. You better hope you win initiative or she's doomed.
Sasha: We'll see.
Ariel: Ooh, my vine glyphs are pretty cool, though. They make anybody stepping on them weaker ... and if you move off of one they might hurt you. Sweet!
Sasha: There's also a glyph that lets you move three of your guys for free, one that gives you the ability to disengage without getting a leaving engagement attack, and this Massive Curse one that makes every figure have a 1 in 20 chance of being destroyed.
Ariel: Who's going to be dumb enough to step on that one?
Sasha: I guess you'd have to be desperate or have a very specific strategy. Anyway, ready to place order markers?
Ariel: Sure. Done.
Sasha: Done.
Ariel: My initiative roll is ... BLAH! Not the 1!
Sasha: I roll a 7, so I go first, but I have a special power for Admiral EJ --
Ariel: You mean Extra Tiny.
Sasha: Admiral EJ, and it lets me move any order markers I want from him to any pirate or captain figure I control, after initiative has been rolled.
Ariel: Dang. That's fire.
Sasha: Yep. So I'll move these markers here and here ... and then it's Missy's turn, so I move her here to turn on that windy glyph.
Ariel: She's so dead.
Sasha: Your turn. Who's your number 1?
Ariel: Duh, Extra Viney. It sucks he can't fly right now, but he'll move to right here, and then he'll put down a Vine glyph right over here to block your way up to the middle spaces, and then he'll use this Erupting Earth Special Attack.
Sasha: That sounds pretty wicked.
Ariel: It's 4 dice at up to 5 range, plus if there are figures adjacent to the target I can attack some of them too.
Sasha: Yikes. 
Ariel: Anyway, he's erupting all over Missy with ... 4 skulls!
Sasha: Oof. She's above you, so she gets to roll an extra defense die, but this is not looking good.
Ariel: Whoa! Look at that roll! You totally blew it!
Sasha: Major oof. I was hoping for at least 1 shield. She only has 4 life. So she's toast. But I do get to put her figure on another hero card to give them her Life Drain special power.
Ariel: What's that do?
Sasha: If I destroy a figure, I get to heal up by 1 wound marker.
Ariel: Well, that's not happening because Extra Viney and Raelin both have tons of life. No way are you killing them.
Sasha: You may be right. Anyway, I'm putting her on Dorim's card, and my next marker is on the Knaves. They let me take a free turn with a Pirate or Captain Hero I control, so I'm going to move Dorim up to here.
Ariel: Into the jaws of death!
Sasha: We'll see. Then I get my regular turn with the Knaves, so I'm going to scatter them to keep them from getting erupted to death next time Extra Viney goes. They don't have range, so that's it for my 2nd turn.
Ariel: Number 2 is Raelin for me. She can fly too, so she goes here. Watch out, because she's got a terrifying aura, and any of your guys within 4 spaces of her lose a defense die.
Sasha: Swell. Is that it for her?
Ariel: Yeah. She doesn't have any range either ... none of my guys do except Extra Viney's Special Attack.
Sasha: All right, number 3 for me is the Knaves again.  Dorim is going to move here with his free turn. Then the Knaves are going to move here ... here ... here ... and here, which puts the last guy on that glyph of sudden movement, so I get to move three figures 5 spaces each. This guy goes here, this guy goes there, and Admiral EJ goes here.
Ariel: Extra Tiny.
Sasha: Now I can attack Extra Viney with these two Knaves. They've got First Assault, which gives them an extra attack die if they didn't start off being adjacent to you. Plus they're higher up than Extra Viney --
Ariel: What??? No way! His head's still like twice as high as they are!
Sasha: Yeah, but you count elevation by the base of the figure, not its head.
Ariel: That's dumb.
Sasha: Maybe, but it means each of my guys gets 5 attack dice on you.
Ariel: Yikes!
Sasha: First dude rolls 2 skulls.
Ariel: I only have 3 defense dice! That sucks, look how big I am! I ought to have 5 or 6 easy!
Sasha: I mean, I notice you have a crap-ton of Life.
Ariel: That's true. I roll 1 shield, so I take 1 wound and I still have 7 left.
Sasha: This guy's up next. Oof. 1 skull.
Ariel: No sweat! I get a shield and I'm safe. Nyah!
Sasha: Here's the moment of truth. Is your number 3 on Extra Viney or Lovey Attack?
Ariel: I put my bluff marker on EV. That kinda sucks. But Lovey can still fly over here and attack down at your knavey guy with an extra attack die for being up high. 3 skulls!
Sasha: I only have 2 defense dice, so he's dead.
Ariel: He's extra dead, because she also has Deadly Strike, which means all her skulls count twice. That's 6 skulls!
Sasha: I guess he's twice as dead then?
Ariel: Maybe even 6 times as dead, since all it takes is 1 to kill your guy and you might not even roll any shields.
Sasha: You're not going to make me roll just to see how dead he is, are you?
Ariel: I guess not.
Sasha: Order markers, then.
Ariel: Done. No, wait! Okay, now I'm done.
Sasha: My initiative roll is 16.
Ariel: I roll 14.
Sasha: Okay, moving these 3 order markers from the Admiral to the Knaves. And the Knaves are my number 1, so I'm taking a turn with Dorim, who moves over here and attacks Lovey for 2 skulls, except that my Chain Axe lets me re-roll 1 die that wasn't a skull ... Yes! 3 skulls total.
Ariel: Lovey Attack rolls ... 3 skulls! Noo! Not only do I take all those wounds, I wasted all those skulls! Now she's only got 1 life left!
Sasha: Time for some Knaving! Since Dorim attacked an enemy figure this turn, he gets to give everybody 1 extra space of movement with his Charge! ability. That means this guy can get up next to Extra Viney. This chick is already next to all 3 of your guys ... and this slowpoke over here has to climb up the last part of the hill and can't get next to anybody. First, the chick Knave is trying to kill Lovey. Rats, only 1 skull.
Ariel: Whew! I get a shield, so she's safe.
Sasha: Next, this guy attacks Extra Viney. He gets an extra die from First Assault ... 4 skulls!
Ariel: Boo! Viney gets an extra die from being higher up, though. Bleh, only 1 shield. He's still got half his life left, though, and it's his turn, and he's pissed! He's gonna Erupting Earth your two guys here and here.
Sasha: I don't think he can, though, because they're not adjacent.
Ariel: They're right next door to each other!
Sasha: Yeah, but they only have a height of 4, and one of them is 4 spaces higher than the other. That means not adjacent, so if one of them was yours, neither of them would be able to attack the other. So you can't vine them both.
Ariel: Grr. And let me guess, now the no-backsies rule means I can't use my normal attack instead, right?
Sasha: Well ... the no backsies rule says you have to make sure you consider height advantage, special powers, and glyphs ... but I guess technically the rules for being adjacent aren't any of those. Go ahead and use your regular attack.
Ariel: Yes! 6 dice, plus I'm higher up than that dude at the bottom of the hill, so ... foo. Only 2 skulls on 7 dice.
Sasha: Yeah, but your Terrifying Aura from Raelin cuts my defense down by 1, meaning I only get to roll 1 die, so 2 skulls kills me no matter what.
Ariel: Yes!
Sasha: Number 2 for me is the Knaves again. Dorim is going to move here and Chain Axe Extra Viney.
Ariel: Do your worst!
Sasha: 4 skulls, plus I get to re-roll the 1 die that isn't a skull ... 5 skulls!
Ariel: No, I really meant your worst. That was your best! This is going to hurt no matter what ... nooo! I didn't get even 1 shield! Extra Viney is dead!
Sasha: Sweet. Now the Knaves get to go. First guy moves here and attacks Lovey. 3 skulls.
Ariel: You're doing that thing again where you're rolling way too many skulls!
Sasha: Sorry.
Ariel: I only get 2 shields and I only had 1 life left. She's dead. And she was my number 2, so you get to go again!
Sasha: Knaves on number 3. Dorim moves up to Raelin. Chain Axe! Well, only 1 skull this time.
Ariel: I get a shield, so she's safe for now.
Sasha: Knaves' turn! This guy moves here ... 1 skull.
Ariel: 2 shields.
Sasha: Last Knave ... 1 skull.
Ariel: No shields! Boooo!
Sasha: Your turn.
Ariel: My number 3 was Extra Viney.
Sasha: Yaasssss .... order markers!
Ariel: There. I roll 14 for initiative this time.
Sasha: Only 13 for me. You go first. But I get to move some order markers off the Admiral.
Ariel: (Extra Tiny.) 
Sasha: Okay, ready.
Ariel: Raelin is going to have her tiger munch on some Knaves. Boo, only 1 skull.
Sasha: Well, I only get to roll 1 die because of your Terrifying Aura. Dead.
Ariel: So there!
Sasha: Knaves go -- well, Knave, since only one is left. She gives Dorim a turn, and he rolls 4 dice against Raelin ... 2 skulls, even after re-rolling a die.
Ariel: 2 shields!
Sasha: Last Knave ... 1 skull
Ariel: Grr. No shields. I still have 4 life left, though, and I'm killifying that Knave! 2 skulls! Dead! In your face!
Sasha: Rats. I made a bad gamble and put my second marker on the Knaves too, so I lose their turn.
Ariel: Yeah! Raelin's tiger is going to make a mess of mister Chain Axe. 2 skulls!
Sasha: Dorim has 3 defense, minus 1 for your aura ... 1 shield.
Ariel: Eat it!
Sasha: My number 3 is the Admiral, though. He's going to move over here and use his Boarding Party Special Attack. It starts off with 2 dice but gets 1 extra because you're adjacent to one of my Pirates. Only 1 skull, though.
Ariel: 1 shield. Obviously I'm putting my order markers on Raelin and you're putting yours on Extra Tiny, so my initiative roll is ... 6.
Sasha: Mine's 7.
Ariel: Dang. So close.
Sasha: First up is Dorim. 3 skulls.
Ariel: You're doing that thing again.
Sasha: Sorry, I can't help it. 
Ariel: Only 1 shield, so I get another 2 wounds.
Sasha: Your turn. 
Ariel: Sigh. Only 1 skull on Dorim.
Sasha: No shields. He's number 2 too, so he attacks you again. 1 skull.
Ariel: Hey, wait. What turn is it?
Sasha: Turn 4.
Ariel: Oh! So if Raelin lives and I can keep your admiral off the hill, I win!
Sasha: Sure, if and if. Are you rolling your defense dice?
Ariel: Yes, and I got a shield! How many life does Extra Tiny have?
Sasha: Only 3.
Ariel: Yes! And how many defense?
Sasha: 6.
Ariel: Oh. Not so "Yes." Dang it. I can move here and the only way you could get up the hill is by going through that Vine glyph that's still there, which might kill you if I can do at least 2 wounds to you. But 6 dice! That's going to make it really hard.
Sasha: Plus you'll get a Leaving Engagement attack from Dorim if you move away from him.
Ariel: Foozers. It's a gamble either way. Heck, I'm going to try it. Boom!
Sasha: Skull.
Ariel: Dang. I still have 1 life left, though! 4 dice on Extra Tiny! 2 skulls! Come on, come on, miss it!
Sasha: I roll 1 shield, so he's still alive. He climbs up to here ...
Ariel: Come on Vines! Nope. It's a shield.
Sasha: I'll attack you with my normal attack now, for 4 dice. 2 skulls.
Ariel: Augh! No shields, I'm dead.
Sasha: That's 2 out of 3 games for me! The champion!!
Ariel: Congratulations, I guess. You need to stop rolling so good, though. It's getting really annoying!
Sasha: I'll give it a try next game, I promise.
Ariel: You do not!
Sasha: Sure, I do. But it's not like there's really anything I can do about how I'm rolling.
Ariel: Well ... as long as you're trying, anyway.
Sasha and Ariel: Later, everybody!