Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Please Please Me!

Sasha: So, The Beatles.
Ariel: Best band ever?
Sasha: I think our opinion has been shaken.
Ariel: Shaken up, Baby?
Sasha: I just said so, didn't ... oh, I get it. But you agree, right?
Ariel: Well, you'll be surprised by this -- I did some research since we listened to the album this morning.
Sasha: What? You, research?
Ariel: I know! But I was just so shocked that The Beatles, who are the best band ever, would have such a bad first album! I had to see if the Internet knew what went wrong.
Sasha: It was definitely a stumper for me. But I just assumed, you know, everybody's got to start somewhere, and they obviously got better.
Ariel: Here's the thing, though, how long do you think it took them to make that album?
Sasha: I dunno. Maybe over a weekend when they were distracted by relatives coming to visit?
Ariel: Ten hours.
Sasha: Get out.
Ariel: No, I'm serious! They released two singles that went really big, so the record company said, "You've gotta do an album, and fast," and they were like, "Sure. How fast is fast? Never mind, we're done."
Sasha: Wow. That's crazy. No wonder there are all those junky songs on it.
Ariel: Yeah, like, almost half the album they didn't write at all.
Sasha: I guess that explains why they sounded like grandma songs.
Ariel: No offense to grandmas.
Sasha: Yeah, no offense.
Ariel: We definitely apologize to all the grandmas who read our blog.
Sasha: I'm thinking there probably aren't all that many.
Ariel: You never know!
Sasha: So now that we're relieved they didn't write the grandma songs themselves what do we think about this album?
Ariel: I'm thinking it will make an awesome playlist with most of those other songs cut out.
Sasha: Sure, but we can't just cut them out of talking about our experience, can we?
Ariel: I guess not.
Sasha: Why don't we just go song by song from the top?
Ariel: Okay! I'll do two songs, then you can do three songs, then I'll do four songs, and then we can just do every other song until the end.
Sasha: I'm really suspicious at the way you were looking so carefully at the liner notes while you said all that. Did you just give me all the grandma songs?
Ariel: Maybe.
Sasha: How about if we just each do every other song instead.
Ariel: Well ...
Sasha: You're looking at the liner notes again!
Ariel: Yes, but only so I can be fair since you're being such a party pooper! If we do every other song, the person who goes first gets "I Saw Her Standing There" and "Please Please Me" and only has to do two grandma songs, and the person who goes second only gets a couple of the good songs but four grandma songs. So the every other one method still screws somebody.
Sasha: Well, since you're trying so hard to be fair, I guess I don't mind being the one who gets screwed.
Ariel: Haha, that's what she --
Sasha: If you finish that joke, I'm taking it back!
Ariel: Okay, sorry.
Sasha: So let's get started. I'm sure all the grandmas who read our blog are dead by now, we took so long deciding how to do this.
Ariel: I'm sorry, grandmas. Me first then, right?
Sasha: Right.
Ariel: First song! "I Saw Her Standing There" -- WOW! Okay, your turn.
Sasha: That's all you're saying?
Ariel: I'm pretty tired from doing my research.
Sasha: Look, I feel like I made a pretty big sacrifice letting you get all the best songs. The least you can do is say more than "wow" about them.
Ariel: I did! I said "WOW!" not "wow".
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Sheesh. All right then. Uh ... "I Saw Her Standing There" is ... tied for longest song on the album, even though it's only two minutes and 55 seconds long.
Sasha: More with the liner notes?
Ariel: Why are you so pushy tonight? Fine. I love this song. I'm a little confused when he says, "She was just seventeen if you know what I mean," because it seems pretty obvious people should know what he means when he says she's just seventeen. Maybe it meant something else in 1963? Or maybe he was in a club where the minimum age was 18, so he means she was a naughty lawbreaker girl? I dunno. But aside from starting off by confusing me, it's a great song.
Sasha: That's better. My first song is "Misery." It's a weirdly bouncy song for being about a guy who's in misery, but I think that's a good thing, because even though it's one of the songs the band wrote, it's a little grandma-ish. If it was actually slow and miserable, I don't know if I'd like it much.
Ariel: My next song starts with a pretty good guitar bit, but it goes downhill from there.
Sasha: I'll say! Like a grandma on skis.
Ariel: Parts of it are okay, but the way they sing "Anna" in the refrain ... whoosh, ick. "UhAaaa-aann-uh" -- I mean, there are not that many syllables in the name "Anna."
Sasha: Plus, the way the guy in the song is like, "Sure, I'll let you go be with some other guy, but you've got to give back your ring for me to set you free..." Yeesh!
Ariel: I guess that's 1963 for you.
Sasha: Creepy. And my next song is not much better ... "Chains."
Ariel: I do like that George sings it.
Sasha: Does he? I couldn't really tell. He sounds an awful lot like John. Which is weird, because they sound so different on the later albums. You're sure?
Ariel: It's right here in the liner notes.
Sasha: You and your liner notes! Anyhow, the grandma songs seem pretty un-romantic to me so far, with the dude demanding the ring back, and the next dude complaining about chains of love.
Ariel: The next one's better. "Boys." And you can definitely tell who sings this one.
Sasha: The drummer, for sure.
Ariel: It's catchy, but it doesn't make a lot of sense. He says his girl tells him she gets a thrill from his kiss, then he says "Talkin' about boys," maybe 20 times, then, "She says ya do." What? Is he talking about his girl? Or is he talking about boys? Or is she talking about someone? It's sort of like they took a song that a girl was supposed to sing and changed the words, but only changed half of them and left the rest.
Sasha: I guess you do that when you only have 10 hours to record an album.
Ariel: Yeah. Well, next song.
Sasha: (sigh) It's called "Ask Me Why." Annnnd it's another actual The Beatles song that is close to sounding like a grandma song.
Ariel: I really appreciate you volunteering to go every other song.
Sasha: Sooo many "ooo-wooo-wooo's" in this song.
Ariel: Don't forget the "ay-yai-yai-yai's" whenever they sing "Ask me why."
Sasha: I'm asking myself why I agreed to the every-other-song method.
Ariel: Do you want to switch and take the next song, then?
Sasha: No. No, you go ahead.
Ariel: Wow, you really love me! The next one is the title song, "Please Please Me!" According to the liner notes, it was their first really big hit in England, and boy, can you tell why!
Sasha: That's for sure. It is WAY different from all the grandma music on this album.
Ariel: You know what the difference is?"
Sasha: I mean ... there's lots of differences. Which one do you mean?
Ariel: They sound so EXCITED.
Sasha: Hmm! That's a really good point.
Ariel: Like, even on the "Boys" song where it's pretty peppy and about people getting kissed and getting thrills to their fingertips, there are still all these "bop-shooo-wop, ba-bop-bop-shoo-wop's" that kind of clue you in that they're like, "Yeah, we know this song's not really about anything, we'll just fill it in with nonsense sounds here."
Sasha: You're right. On "I Saw Her Standing There" and "Please Please Me," they sound like they're really singing about real things that they actually care about.
Ariel: Plus, rockin' music.
Sasha: No doubt, this song way rocks over all the grandma stuff.
Ariel: Amen.
Sasha: Okay, my turn to do a good song, finally! "Love Me Do." It's not as rocking as "Please Please Me," but man does it start off with some good harmonica!
Ariel: Liner notes say this one was their first song that made the charts, it just didn't get as far up as "Please Please Me."
Sasha: I don't know why it's so much more interesting than the oldies around it. I mean, it's barely got any lyrics at all. Like, four short sentences, and then some words that aren't even a complete sentence ... I guess it's just that thing again where it sounds like they really mean it.
Ariel: Yeah. Like, all their songs are written to be sincere on this album. In "Anna," the dude is all about how he's going to do what she wants because she loves this other guy, and then he's like, "But you'd better give me back that ring!"
Sasha: And "Chains" is like, dude, are you happy you're in love, or not? It's weird.
Ariel: Right. And I don't even understand "Boys."
Sasha: How about the next one. Did you think it was sincere too?
Ariel: Totally. "P.S., I Love You." It's so sincere, I just did more research.
Sasha: Did you now.
Ariel: Yes, I looked in a thesaurus and found an even better word. "Earnest."
Sasha: Okay, that research totally paid off. I like that word for them.
Ariel: Me too.
Sasha: Not for my next song, though. "Baby, It's You." More grandma stuff full of "sha-la-la-la-laaa's" and creepy lyrics. Like the guy in the song going on and on about how much he loves the girl, but then saying everybody is going around calling her a cheat. But then he says he doesn't care about that, "sha-la-la," and it just makes me think, "Then why did you say it, dude?"
Ariel: You're really getting the short end of the stick with this every-other-song thing. How about if you take this next song to make up for it.
Sasha: "Do You Want To Know A Secret?"
Ariel: Yes! It's another one that George sings where he sounds a lot like John.
Sasha: He kind of does ...
Ariel: Especially in the refrain when he gets screamy on the "I'm in love with you!" bit. George is not normally a screamer. That's way more John's thing.
Sasha: I thought you said I was going to take this one?
Ariel: Oops. Sorry. I'll shut up. Why don't you skip the next grandma song, "A Taste of Honey," and then you can do both the last two songs.
Sasha: "A Taste of Honey" is the worst. More of a grandpa song than a grandma song, though. I'm totally okay skipping it.
Ariel: Great. Do "There's a Place."
Sasha: I really like this one! Thank you, Aers.
Ariel: What's so good about it?
Sasha: Well, supposedly the early The Beatles songs are all just lovey-dovey love songs about girls and stuff, and this one kind of is, but it's also got ... contemplation in it. The grandma songs are all super shallow ... "Your lips are sweet," "Yeah, yeah, boys," "Cheat, cheat, cheat," blah, blah, blah. But in this one, he's singing about how there's a place he can go whenever he's sad, and it's in his own head, he just thinks of his girlfriend and things she does and says. I mean, it's still all about a girl, but he's actually thinking about her, not just singing how much he love, love, loves her or is obsessed with her.
Ariel: You're really good at this song analysis stuff!
Sasha: Thank you!
Ariel: Only one song left, the last grandma song. Do you want to do it?
Sasha: Yes! Because it's the best of the grandma songs, "Twist and Shout!" It doesn't have the same kind of The Beatles musically interesting quality to it or interesting lyrics, really, but boy does John scream the heck out of it.
Ariel: It's definitely the screamingest song on the album.
Sasha: So much screaming.
Ariel: The liner notes said they recorded it last because he had a bad cold and the producer thought if they recorded it first, his voice would be shot for the day.
Sasha: Wait, they recorded this whole album in ten hours and John had a cold the whole time and he still screamed that good on the last song?
Ariel: Apparently!
Sasha: Okay, I can definitely forgive it for being not the greatest album ever, then.
Ariel:  Me too.
Sasha: Whew, this was a long one! Congratulations to us for hanging in there.
Ariel: You said it. I'm beat!
Sasha: Let's hit the sack, then.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!