Sasha: Okay, so like, this is going to be old news to everybody but us.
Ariel: Or even so old that it's new news to them, like, "Styx who? I never heard of them."
Sasha: But we saw something mythological like recently --
Ariel: I think it was that character Charon in Book Three of Kill Six Billion Demons.
Sasha: Which is a whole other experience we need to blog about, but yeah, I think you're right.
Ariel: And this Charon guy is supposed to ferry people across the River Styx, even though there's no river in the Kill Six Billion Demons version.
Sasha: However, our boyfriend specializes in being reminded of one thing by a different thing that he remembered because of some other different thing ...
Ariel: Ect, ect.
Sasha: Elle says that's etc., etc.
Ariel: I like ect, ect better because it sounds sort of like you're coughing up a hairball. As in, "Your list is going on too long and it's making me want to barf."
Sasha: Sheesh. I didn't think I was going on that long.
Ariel: No, I just think it's fun to put stuff like ect, ect in wherever it will fit.
Sasha: Like when your girlfriend is trying to make a point about your boyfriend so the readers will have enough background info to --
Ariel: Ect, ect.
Sasha: Grr.
Ariel: Anyway, blah-blah-blah, for some reason our boyfriend played us this Styx album, Equinox.
Sasha: And it was definitely good.
Ariel: Really good, with some songs poking up into the excellent range.
Sasha: A little cheesy sometimes ...
Ariel: But in a good way! And mostly rockin' the rest of the time.
Sasha: With really ripping guitars and terrific keyboards and actually I guess just really good instruments all around.
Ariel: Plus very good harmony singing. And a song called "Born for Adventure."
Sasha: That was a good one.
Ariel: "Midnight Ride" also.
Sasha: Yep. Anyway, we were listening in the car on the BF's iTunes, and when the album was over, it went straight to the next one on its list.
Ariel: Kilroy was Here.
Sasha: We should have listened to him when he tried to get to his phone and skip it.
Ariel: No, because you should never browse your iTunes while driving!
Sasha: But it is okay to turn things off.
Ariel: That would have been a good alternative.
Sasha: To be fair, we ought to say it's really not a terrible album or anything.
Ariel: I actually didn't mind most of it. It was very commercial and poppy. And with a different guitarist who was not as good as the guy on Equinox.
Sasha: Exponentially bigger cheese factor, though.
Ariel: Like, dairy farm level cheesiness.
Sasha: And even some of that was good, like the "Mister Roboto" song at the beginning and the part in the last song when he's singing like Elvis.
Ariel: We had to look up Elvis to see if it really sounded like him when the BF said that's why the singer was singing so differently.
Sasha: It was a really good imitation!
Ariel: But eventually Kilroy was Here was over, and we went on to the album he had originally wanted us to listen to next.
Sasha: What. The. Actual. Hell.
Ariel: Now, to be honest, we're only two and a half songs into this Styx Double-I album, so we are forming an opinion on only part of the information we probably ought to have.
Sasha: But it's like a whole different band.
Ariel: Even better than Equinox
Sasha: Super-terrific guitars all over the place.
Ariel: Songs that start off with pretty piano and end up with screaming guitar solos.
Sasha: Who goes from making this kind of music to making Kilroy was Here?
Ariel: Not the original lead guitarist, apparently.
Sasha: It's honestly nuts.
Ariel: And what's even worse is, this approach apparently worked for them.
Sasha: Sadly true. The BF says they were way more popular with their second lead guitarist than with the original guy.
Ariel: People have no taste.
Sasha: Anyway, we pulled into the driveway halfway through this freaky surreal song called "A Day," and when the music shut off, we just had to come in and express our shock.
Ariel: And astonishment.
Sasha: And bafflement.
Ariel: And ...
Sasha: What are you doing?
Ariel: Finding the thesaurus. Here ... stupefaction!
Sasha: Bewilderment.
Ariel: Discombombulation
Sasha: Befuddlement.
Ariel: Ect, ect.
Sasha: Oh, you did a typo there. It's "discombobulation."
Ariel: I like discombombulation better.
Sasha: Hmm. Maybe I do too.
Ariel: So now you know, people. Later Styx was super-slick and commercial and poppy.
Sasha: And earlier Styx kicked ass.
Ariel: We should go listen to the rest of the Double-I album now.
Sasha and Ariel: Bye, everybody!
Styx! Don't stop believin'.
ReplyDeleteSo back around 1984, I was twelve, which should make everyone reading this feel very old. One of my best friends was a lad named Billy Ciluffo. His house was behind mine, one house over, on the other side of the block, and his parents had enough money where Billy had not one, but TWO Kenner Star Wars AT-AT toys, which is the height of bourgeoise expenditure right there.
One of the other things bought with his parents' wealth was a 12" vinyl copy of 'Kilroy was here' by Styx. One day, I was over at Billy's, hangin' out, and he decides to play me this super-cool new record. I'd never heard of Styx before, there were robots on the cover, I was down. We listen to Side A... cool, cool... then we listen to Side B, which I recall us not having any problems with, either. But this was Billy's New Favourite Record that he loved more than anything else, so we listened to Side A again. For some reason or other, I wanted to see something on the record itself, so I went over to take it off the turntable. I'm handling the record — carefully, with my palms squeezing the edges; I wasn't an idiot — and Billy wanted the record back right that minute, so he goes to take it from my hands.
Long story short, the record not only escaped both of our grasps, but fell to the stone floor of the den EXACTLY on its edge, and shattered into pieces. I apologised profusely, but then I felt I had to, as Billy was literally CRYING. I... left his home shortly after.
The end! No moral. Love your blog!
Oh no!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat’s terrible!
Do you still know Billy so you could call him and make him feel better by saying, “Hey, Billy, at least it wasn’t Styx II that we broke”?
Also, I apologize but I didn’t feel especially old on account of you being 12 in 1984. I asked MSG if he did, and he said, “Yes, but I felt old already, so, no change.”
Thank you so much for commenting!