Ariel: Okay, I just want to make sure everybody who reads this knows right away that that title isn't a typo or other kinda mistake, we really are talking about more than one Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds.
Sasha: I'm going to go out on a limb here, Ariel, and say I bet anyone who was assuming it was a mistake is still going to think it's a mistake because they're going to think it should say, "Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds Albums."
Ariel: Well, they would still be wrong, because both of Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses are double albums, so if I said "Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds Albums," some people who know that they're double albums might be confused about whether I'm talking about just two disks from one of Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses, or if I'm talking about both Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses, so the only way to be sure I was being clear was to say it the way I said it.
Sasha: Another way to say it might have been, "Both versions of Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds."
Ariel: No, because there was a vinyl version, and there was a CD version, and then there was a special CD version with extra stuff, and I think even a DVD version, and that's only for the first Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds. So if I said, "Both versions," people might still be confused.
Sasha: Except if people know there are all those different versions, won't they be confused into thinking we're going to talk about all those versions since you didn't specifically say this post is only about two?
Ariel: Maybe, but at that point I'm thinking they're putting too much work into being confused, so it's on them.
Sasha: Okay, I give up.
Ariel: Now it's time to tell our readers to put their spoiler blankets over their heads if they don't want things spoiled for them.
Sasha: Are you sure we need to do that? I mean, the story is from 1898, and the first album was from 1978 --
Ariel: The first albums. Double album, remember.
Sasha: -- and even the second version that we're talking about is like, seven or eight years old. Plus, what are you thinking we're going to give away?
Ariel: I don't know! Maybe we'll want to say the drums are way smashier on the second one we listened to, and then someone gets the albums and listens to them and is like, Oh, man, I wish it had been a surprise how much smashier the drums are on this album.
Sasha: Fine. So now they've been warned.
Ariel: I just thought they needed to be.
Sasha: I'm not arguing any more.
Ariel: Good. So ... now what are we going to say about Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses besides the drums being much more smashy on the second one?
Sasha: I don't know. I was totally going to lead with the smashy drums thing because I love drums and hearing them being smashed on.
Ariel: Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to rob you of that one.
Sasha: It's fine. It just means you have to start us off, since I don't have anything else ready.
Ariel: Should we tell everybody what Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses are about, I guess?
Sasha: Sure.
Ariel: Well, the worlds in the title are Earth and Mars, and the war is where they fight, and Jeff Wayne is the guy who made the albums. I kind of went in reverse order there, so I hope nobody is too confused.
Sasha: Uh ... I dunno, Aers. Maybe you should dumb it down a little more in case some of our readers are just ordinary people and not intellectual giants like us.
Ariel: You're being sarcastic. I can tell, you know.
Sasha: I'm just thinking you should maybe give our audience more credit about what might be confusing to them. I like to think they're mostly pretty smart.
Ariel: Okay, I'll turn the whole "Explaining what Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses are about" part over to you, then, since obviously you think you can do a much better job at it.
Sasha: Well, Jeff Wayne is this composer and record producer, and at some point in the 1970s he wrote a rock-and-roll musical version of H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds, and once he'd written it, he got this all-star cast of rock-and-roll people to perform it and released it as a double album. It was super-popular in England and sort of popular here in the U.S., and thirty-something years later, he decided to re-do it with updated music and all new singers and a different narrator.
Ariel: Oh.
Sasha: Oh, what?
Ariel: You actually did do a much better job at it. I was sort of hoping you wouldn't.
Sasha: Pfff. You totally could have done just as good a job as I did, if you just weren't so --
Ariel: Don't say it!
Sasha: -- lazy.
Ariel: You don't have to always call me lazy!
Sasha: Am I wrong?
Ariel: No. But that doesn't mean you have to call me it every single post!
Sasha: I don't do it every single post. Look back over our last few posts, and I'm sure you'll find several of them where I don't call you lazy. I mean, if it's not too much work for you to go back and look at them.
Ariel: I'm going to talk more about Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses now.
Sasha: Great!
Ariel: Grr. Well ... so, people who read our last entry know that our boyfriend was talking about Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds, and then that led to us listening to a Thin Lizzy album because the lead singer of Thin Lizzy is one of the singers on the first Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds.
Sasha: Did I call you lazy in that post?
Ariel: Stop it!
Sasha: Sorry. Go on.
Ariel: Anyway, we really liked the Thin Lizzy album, and we thought that Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds sounded really cool, so we made him buy it on the impy three store and we listened to it and it was really really good.
Sasha: You're crushing it. Keep going.
Ariel: Just ... the sarcasm. So much sarcasm! Do you have to?
Sasha: I'm not, I promise! I'm maybe just exaggerating a little to tease you. Keep going.
Ariel: Um ... well, so, but while he was looking for the album on the impy three store --
Sasha: Albums you mean. Double album, right?
Ariel: Ooh! You!
Sasha: Sorry again. You're just so cute when you get the red face going and the steam coming out of your ears!
Ariel: I do not have a red face or steam coming out of my ears. And I'm always cute. I'm going to make you take over if you keep doing that.
Sasha: I won't, I promise.
Ariel: ...
Sasha: You don't have to give me those narrow eyes! I promise. Really.
Ariel: Fine. So when he was looking on the impy three store, that's when he found out there was a newer version of Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds from 2013. And after we all loved the first one from 1978, we kind of forced him to get the new one so we could listen to it too.
Sasha: Maybe before getting to the new one we could say some of the things we liked about the first one?
Ariel: Guitars. Guitars, guitars, guitars, guitars! Oh, man, there was so much great guitaring on this record. Lead guitars, and acoustic guitars, and wacka-wacka wah-wah guitars, and pretty much just all the guitars.
Sasha: There was a lot of good keyboard stuff too, and excellent singing.
Ariel: Hettie and Elle kept going on about the narration and the language in it, which Hettie said used a lot of words and phrases from the original H.G. Wells story.
Sasha: That dude knew how to pick the right word. And the narrator guy, who apparently was some super famous actor, knew just how to say them all absolutely the perfect way. "Intolerably lonely." "Desolate." "Minds immeasurably superior to ours ..." Did you have a favorite language bit?
Ariel: I do, but it's kinda gruesome.
Sasha: Ooh, that's even better! What was it?
Ariel: Well I can't remember it all!
Sasha: So Google it or something. I'll wait.
Sasha: ...
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Whew. Found it. Thank heavens for copy-paste, because I would never want to retype all of this. "The six guns we had seen now fired simultaneously, decapitating a Fighting Machine. The Martian inside the hood was slain, splashed to the four winds, and the body, nothing now but an intricate device of metal, went whirling to destruction." I love that "splashed to the four winds" bit, and then the "whirling to destruction" bit.
Sasha: Wow. That really is very bloodthirsty for you.
Ariel: I know! But really, "whirling to destruction!" It's so exciting and vivid and, and ... whirly. You know?
Sasha: What else did we really like?
Ariel: Duh, the Thin Lizzy lead singer guy. He plays a crazy parson who thinks the Martians are all demons, and he's singing about how doomed everybody is, and his wife -- the parson's wife, not the singer guy's wife -- is singing back about how there has to be hope and something to live for, and he's like, "Nope, I'm not having it. World's doomed." He was amazing! And she was amazing! The whole song was just amazing.
Sasha: I agree. Which, I have to then compare it to the newer version.
Ariel: I liked them both!
Sasha: I did too ... but the new parson singer ... definitely no Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy.
Ariel: I thought he sang pretty well.
Sasha: Yes, but oof, some of his dialogue lines where he wasn't singing ...
Ariel: Elle did a couple of groans and eye rolls, but honestly, I didn't really notice him being all that bad.
Sasha: Well, I was with Elle on that part.
Ariel: What about the two different Beth singers? Beth was the parson's wife. I thought they were both super-good too, but very different.
Sasha: It was kinda like they were playing two not-exactly the same characters. The first one -- she just totally nailed this lady being some incredibly good person who was completely sure that everything could turn out okay.
Ariel: Yeah. Too bad she got proved wrong about that by a Martian spaceship landeing on their house and squashing her.
Sasha: True, but even though she got squashed, she just really made you feel 100% that her character was right and the parson was wrong. In the new version, the singer puts all this passion and urgency into her voice, and I thought it made it seem like her character, I dunno, desperately needed to prove what she was saying to the parson. Which made her seem less certain she was right, which made her seem maybe less ... heroic?
Ariel: Still got just as squashed, though.
Sasha: Anything else we want to compare about the two versions?
Ariel: Yes! The biggest thing!
Sasha: Which is?
Ariel: The narrator in the new one was Cheats-at-Dice Guy from the first Star Wars movie. You know, that Jedi dude who sort of adopts the little slave kid and then gets killed by Mr. All-the Horns-and Face-Paint.
Sasha: Liam Neeson. He's a pretty famous actor, Aers. He's been in lots of other stuff. You didn't like him?
Ariel: As an actor, sure. He was fine, although maybe not as good as the guy from the 1978 version. But he was so distracting!
Sasha: Distracting how?
Ariel:You know ... like, every time something bad was happening, I kept thinking, Damn, Cheats-at-Dice Guy, why don't you use the Force on these Martians?
Sasha: I don't think I thought that even once.
Ariel: It was messing with my brain something fierce.
Sasha: Bummer.
Ariel: I still really liked the new version, though.
Sasha: Me too. Anything else?
Ariel: No, I think I'm Jeff Wayne's War of the Worldses-ed out at this point.
Sasha: Okay. Well, until next time then, readers ...
Ariel and Sasha: Bye!
