Sasha and Ariel Experience ... The Acolyte!

Sasha: Wow, it's been a hot minute since we did a Star Wars experiencing post!
Ariel: I looked it up when I was going to read back over some of our Star Wars posts and remember some of the stuff we said, and it's been two years and then a couple of months on top of that!
Sasha: Whoa, I'm surprised you went to all that effort!
Ariel: All what effort?
Sasha: Reading all those posts. What did you find out?
Ariel: Oh, I didn't end up reading them. There were soooo many! I just saw the last one was over two years ago ... and the first one was before the pandemic! I had only just barely gotten here! Anyway, there were dozens and dozens of Star Wars posts and I wasn't going to try taking that on once I saw them and remembered how many there were.
Sasha: Dozens and dozens? That seems like a pretty high number when I glance over at our sidebar of all our Star Wars posts.
Ariel: Well, there were at least a dozen. I could tell that just looking. Counting them all would only have made me more sure I wasn't going to read that much stuff, and I was already pretty sure, TBH.
Sasha: Got it. So is there anything we want to talk about before we tell everyone to put their spoiler blankets on?
Ariel: Yeah, because there's something we have to spoil on account of it would be really mean not to.
Sasha: Really? What's that?
Ariel: The first part of this show is all out of order! I got SUCH a big headache out of trying to figure out what was going on, and I don't want our readers' heads to hurt as much as mine did, so I feel like we've just got to break our rules and tell them to watch episode 3 and episode 7 at the very start because that's the actual order things happen in.
Sasha: I think I agree about episode 3, but not about episode 7. Episode 3 has lots of information that would help you understand what the characters are doing and thinking in episodes 1 and 2, but episode 7 gives away all the big mysteries of the whole season, so I'd tell people to watch that one where the Disney people put it, between 6 and 8.
Ariel: Woohoo! Look at us being big-time Star Wars fans!
Sasha: What do you mean?
Ariel: We're arguing about what order to watch episodes in! I think that's like a final exam to graduate from being pretty big fans to being really big fans.
Sasha: I think we're already really big fans, though.
Ariel: Hmm. Then I guess maybe we must have argued about the order to watch things in in one of those dozens and dozens of posts I didn't read, and I just don't remember that argument.
Sasha: All right. So can we have everybody put their spoiler blankets on now?
Ariel: Sure.
Sasha: So what do we want to talk about first? Episode 3?
Ariel: No, I want to talk about episode 1 in case anybody who left their spoiler blanket off is still reading and isn't sure we're right about watching episode 3 before episodes 1 and 2. Trust us, people! You've got to watch episode 3 first.
Sasha: Maybe give them some specific reasons?
Ariel: I'm going to! It's why I'm talking about episode 1 as soon as you let me.
Sasha: Go for it.
Ariel: So -- episode 1 starts off with a big, bad bar-fight between a mysterious masked murder-chick and this Jedi lady named Master End Our Uh.
Sasha: I'm not sure that's her name, and it's kind of a mouthful ...
Ariel: That's why I'm abbreviating it to MEOU, which sounds like a kitty.
Sasha: I didn't think she was very kitty-like, but okay.
Ariel: Kitties are cute, though! Anyway, MMMchick goes in this bar and gets up in MEOU's face and says she wants to throw down with her, and MEOU acts like she doesn't want to but then ends up doing it and MMMchick keeps being mysterious for a while during the fight and also keeps being masked until MEOU manages to pull the mask off her, and then pretty soon after that she gets to the murdering part and it turns out MEOU isn't all that much like a kitty because she definitely doesn't have 9 lives.
Sasha: And did you think that whole bit would be helped a ton by seeing episode 3 beforehand?
Ariel: No, only a little. Because at one point MEOU sees that MMMchick's got these forehead circles on one side of her forehead under her braid-bangs, which I'm going to call "brangs" from here on to save time. And because we see that, we'd totally know, "Hey, that's the twin-girl who got the forehead circles witched onto her in episode 3!" Only if we'd watched them in the right order, we probably wouldn't know it was episode 3 so we just would have said, "last episode."
Sasha: Uh-huh.
Ariel: It's what happens next that REALLY needs you to watch episode 3 first, because then we switch to the other twin-girl suddenly waking up from being asleep and taking a big gasp, and as soon as I saw that, I was like, "Oh, dang. We just wasted the whole time we spent watching that big bar fight because it was all a dream anyhow." Because I thought it was the same girl on account of her brangs were hiding her forehead where the forehead circles would have been if she'd had them, so we didn't know she didn't have them.
Sasha: Oh, okay. I didn't assume that's what was going on, but I can see how someone might.
Ariel: Right? So then I'm remembering people with the Force can see the future sometimes, so I got really mad because I thought, "Hey! Did they just spoil a fight that's going to happen later by showing us her Force dream about it? Now I won't be surprised when the fight happens and she kills MEOU for real!"
Sasha: Definitely not what I was thinking, but I get how you could.
Ariel: Thanks. We're arguing a lot less this post than normal, which I think is great.
Sasha: Do we really argue all that much usually? I don't think it's like we're constantly arguing or anything.
Ariel: Are you kidding me? Of course we -- wait a minute. I see what you're doing.
Sasha: Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Ariel: Anyway, then after we see NMMMchick doing stuff for a while --
Sasha: NMMMchick?
Ariel: Yeah, "Not Mysterious or Masked or Murdering Chick." Which I didn't know at the time but I would have if we'd watched episode 3 first. So like I was saying, after some more of her on this spaceship, we see this Jedi classroom being taught by Master S'all. And if we'd watched episode 3 first, we'd know MEOU was his boss way back when and he and she and those other two Jedi really effed things up on the twin-girls' home planet and that's why MMMchick was doing her murdering bit and why NMMMchick wasn't.
Sasha: I totally agree that you've got a majorly solid case about why people should watch episode 3 first. But I think his name was Sol, not S'all.
Ariel: Yeah, but I like saying S'all because then when I'm talking about the S'all who's in the now story I can say, "This S'all" and when I'm talking about the one in the past story I can say, "That S'all."
Sasha: Okay, I kind of like that.
Ariel: Thanks! But one more thing I want to say about why they should have started with episode 3 is, then right off the bat you get to see the lez-bewitches. I thought they were pretty awesome. Although then I was bummed when they all died on account of That S'all and MEOU effing up the mission to their planet. Except I didn't get the full bumming effect because episode 1 spoils the fact that the twin-girls' whole family got killed in a fire, so when I was watching episode 3 I was like, "Dang, I like these lez-bewitches, it sucks they're going to die," and then when they did there wasn't much of any surprise about it.
Sasha: More and more good points about why people should watch episode 3 first.
Ariel: Wow, I've been talking so much, haven't I? Maybe you should take a turn.
Sasha: Sure, glad to! Don't point this next part out, because I'm going to gush about the hottest character on the whole show.
Ariel: The guy who that little horny girl told to put his shirt on? I mean, he was pretty muscle-y, but I didn't think he was that hot.
Sasha: No, not that guy. He was too dumb for me to think he was hot. I'm not really attracted to dumb hunks.
Ariel: Oh. So ... what, the dorky nerdy Jedi who was like the secretary or something for Green Baldy Lady?
Sasha: What? No. Hard pass. I do have a thing for the right kind of hot nerdy guy, but that guy was a goober. No, I mean --
Ariel: The super smooth Jedi girl with the big eyes and bat ears?
Sasha: No, why would our boyfriend be jealous of her?
Ariel: I dunno. I'm just running out of candidates for hottest character. Some of the witches were pretty hot, but others definitely weren't ... oh, but the did all get burnt up in the fire, is that the kind of hot you meant?
Sasha: NO, I'm talking about the main bad guy who pretends to be a weaselly shrimp but then turns out to be totally jacked and bad-ass and also weirdly sensitive in an evil kinda way. Once he stopped being weaselly, I was totally drooling over him.
Ariel: Okay, now I get what you mean. I didn't think of him because I didn't think he was hot.
Sasha: You didn't???
Ariel: No, because he was way too cool. Like, ice cold.
Sasha: Oh, all right.
Ariel: Like a polar droid picture.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: It's from a song.
Sasha: Can I get back to talking about the hot guy?
Ariel: Sure!
Sasha: Anyway, other than being super-evil, that dude was the bomb.
Ariel: I guess. When he wasn't wearing that ugly hat.
Sasha: Helmet. But you're right, it was pretty ugly.
Ariel: SO ugly. I was surprised how handsome he was when he took it off.
Sasha: Surprised? Didn't you already know it was the weaselly guy the whole time?
Ariel: Well yeah, I knew it was C'mere, but I didn't think he was handsome when he was being weaselly on account of how mega-weaselly he was. Plus he was shifty too. Those are not hot qualities for me.
Sasha: Me either, but I could still he he was good-looking. Anyway, once he took that helmet back off, he got super hot -- sexy and charming and bold and even kind of wise, you know? Plus ULTRA-suave. That guy had all the suave.
Ariel: You forgot the part about him being pretty funny too, like when he's complaining about the Jedi finding out who he is so now he has to kill them, and This S'all says, "Hey, you're the one who came here where we'd find you." And instead of pointing out, "Yeah, because my name is C'mere," he says, "Well, I did wear a mask."
Sasha: That was a great line, you're right. He was pretty clever.
Ariel: It would have been funnier if he hadn't just murdered all those people, but I guess no guy is 100% perfect. Although our boyfriend comes pretty close.
Sasha: Yeah, he's hot in that nerdy kind of way and he's funny and clever and sensitive too.
Ariel: Plus, he doesn't go around murdering people.
Sasha: So what else do we want to say about The Acolyte?
Ariel: I mean, there's probably other stuff to say, but I think our boyfriend is about to start the next show in the Star Wars rewatch he's doing, so maybe we ought to wrap that up, especially since it may be another one we haven't seen yet.
Sasha: Works for me.
Ariel and Sasha: Okay then, see you later, everybody!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Shipwreckscape!

Ariel: Woohoo! New Heroscape! And you know what's even better?
Sasha: What?
Ariel: Our boyfriend's actually okay with letting us play with it first! And he built us a map to play on. AND he made up armies for us to play with. It looks like this.

Sasha: Wow. That's definitely even better than just new Heroscape arriving. Cool shipwreck!
Ariel: Plus, do you know what's even evener betterer?
Sasha: Tell me.
Ariel: He made up three armies -- two that are basically even and one that's extra big. So we can either play a one on one against each other or find somebody else to play with and do a two on one where two armies gang up against the third one. I figure since Heddy learned how to play last time we should ask her. And do you know what's super even better bestest?
Sasha: You already asked her and she said yes.
Ariel: What! How did you know?
Sasha: Because I see her coming this way from the kitchen with a cup of coffee.
Heddy: Hi, guys.
Ariel: Hi, Heddy!
Sasha: Heya. So Aers roped you into playing Heroscape again, huh?
Heddy: I had fun last time, but I figured I'd better get caffeinated if I'm going to be perky enough to remember the rules and strategies.
Ariel: Don't worry, these are new figures, so all the strategies will be different anyhow.
Sasha: So who's going to be on the team-up side and who's going to be playing the giganto army?
Heddy: I 100% volunteer to not play the giganto army. That sounds a bit nightmarish, even with caffeine in my system.
Ariel: Well in that case probably I should play the giganto army on account of Heddy and I teamed up last time and beat you and MSG's team, so if the two of us team up again and stomp you you'll probably feel like it's just a repeat of that game.
Sasha: Sounds good to me. You know I won't turn down a chance to play with Heddy.
Heddy: Mm. Mutual facts.
Ariel: Anyways ... that means I'm playing this army with a super-buff Captain-Pirate-Admiral-King for its leader, and these extradimensional tentacle-y things, plus some wingy folks and some chainsaw ax orcs and a dinosaur rider and a creepy no-skin guy on his no-skin horse.

Sasha: That's a pretty big army.
Heddy: Should we be worried? What does our side look like?
Ariel: You've got these two armies. First is this bunch of zombie cybordogs with a trenchcoat rat-riding dude for their leader.

Then there's this big bunch of insect guys and some wingy chicks backing them up.

Sasha: Yeah, I don't know if our guys look as tough as your guys do.
Heddy: Both of these armies have a bit of an ickiness to them, too. If I can have my druthers, though, I'd take the one with the winged ladies over the ghoul dogs and Trenchcoat LaForge there.
Sasha: Be my guest. I guess I'm these horror hounds, then. We ready to put our figures on the board and set up our order markers and roll initiative?
Heddy: I hope I'm ready.
Ariel: Oh! The rules that came with this Capiradmirking dude say when you've got a two-on-one situations with the same points on each side, the people with two armies don't get to use their number 3 markers.
Heddy: I suppose that makes sense. We have the same number of points, but it would be a sizable advantage for the two of us to get twice as many turns as you do.
Sasha: Of course you tell us this after we agreed to be on the two-army team.
Ariel: I wasn't trying to be sneaky! I only just remembered it when you mentioned order markers.
Sasha: It's fine. I mean, I guess our side still gets one more turn each round of order markers than you do.
Heddy: I've set up my markers.
Ariel: Yikes! That was quick!
Heddy: It was pretty easy since I only had 2 that really matter to decide on.
Ariel: I'm still working on mine. Give me a second.
Sasha: Mine are placed too. Although maybe before we say we're done with them, you should tell us if there are any special rules about that shipwreck.
Ariel: Oh gosh, that's right! Um, okay, so if you're next to one of those cannons, you can turn it any whichaway and then shoot with it instead of doing your normal attack. It's got a range of 8 and does 3 attack dice to whatever's in the hex you shoot at plus the adjacent hexes. Oh, and it's a special attack, so it doesn't get a bonus for being up high. Then there's the rope ladders. If you're going up or down a rope ladder, it counts as one elevation level, and if someone is adjacent to a rope ladder, they're also adjacent to anybody else. Adjacent to the ladder means you're in the hex at the bottom of it, or you're in the hex it's attached to.
Sasha: All right, all that's good to know. I'm okay with where my markers are now.
Ariel: Wait! Also, rope ladders are only for small and medium figures to climb on. I guess large creatures still get to use that adjacent rule for attacking? It doesn't say for sure.
Sasha: Okay, I roll a 4 for initiative.
Ariel: Hey! I didn't say I was done putting down order markers! You stopped me to ask about the rules.
Sasha: Sorry. I guess I'll just have to re-roll once you're done.
Ariel: Boo. I bet you wouldn't've said that if you rolled really good.
Sasha: We'll never know, will we? Are you ready yet?
Ariel: Yes.
Sasha: I roll a 7. Not much better. 
Heddy: I roll 17.
Ariel: 18! Okay, my first marker is Capiradmirking. He's got these command markers he can put on other heroes to take a turn with them. I'm gonna move this orc on the bonehead dinosaur forward, and then Capraking flies up a few spaces too.
Heddy: My first marker is on my Skordyre Infantry, and they get to take a turn with two common insect heroes. They have to have different names, though. So I'll move forward with this Spitting Hive Soldier and this Bursting Hive Soldier.
Ariel: Ew, bursting? That sounds gross. Well, at least he looks slow.
Heddy: After that my infantry move up next to these bushes. Those give me a bonus on defense against ranged attacks, right?
Ariel: If somebody's shooting you from a distance, yeah.
Sasha: Okay, my first order marker is on my spookydogs. The squad guys get to let one of the hero guys take a turn first.
Heddy: How can we tell which ones are squad figures and which are heroes? They look pretty much the same to me.
Sasha: The squad ones only have one arm. See?
Heddy: Oh, got it.
Sasha: All of mine end up in the bushes too.
Ariel: Okay. Well, my next turn is with Capring, so he uses another command marker ...
Sasha: Wow, you're using those up quick.
Ariel: I get them back every turn! So this turn I'm ordering Mr. No-skin around, so he charges over here ... and then Ca-ping is going to fly where he's hidden by the ship from you.
Heddy: My second marker is on the infantry too. They'll send these Hive Soldiers toward that ladder amidships, then move a bit closer to your skinless thing. Yuck.
Sasha: My guys from last turn are headed around toward the back of the ship.
Ariel: Okay! Ca-ping is my third order marker too! He'll have this girl with the red wings fly ... here, and then he'll fly up to the top of the ship! I'm going to put him by the ladder instead of one of the cannons, because that makes him adjacent to your Soldier. Is that the Spitting one or the Burping one?
Heddy: It's the spitting one. The other is the bursting one.
Ariel: Haha, I just thought Spitting and Burping sounded funnier. Anyhow, since he's adjacent, Ca-ping gets to attack Mr. Spitty twice. He's up high, so he gets 4 dice instead of 3 -- agh, no skulls! Okay, that better not happen on this second attack because I get to add in 2 more dice for it. That's better! 3 skulls!
Heddy: Oof. If I'd know he could roll that many dice I think I'd have positioned myself very differently. Let's see. My defense is 3 ... and I definitely don't roll 3 shields. Dead.
Ariel: Yay! First blood! Or first whatever kind of goo your bugs use for blood.
Sasha: New order markers?
Ariel: Right.
Sasha: I'm ready.
Heddy: Me too.
Ariel: Me -- oh, dang! I was supposed to be putting down Kraken tentacles every time Ca-ping went! I better remember that this time!
Sasha: Can you maybe not? I'm already feeling kinda worried about how this battle looks like it's going.
Ariel: Well I can't forget on purpose! But if I do forget don't rub it in or then I'll be sure not to forget the next time.
Sasha: Deal. I get 10 for initiative.
Heddy: 16.
Ariel: Dragon! Oh, wait. That's bad in this game. Maybe I shouldn't use these Dragonbane dice.
Heddy: My first marker is on my Skordyre Infantry again. I'll move these two Hive Soldiers, then bring my Infantry up adjacent to the skinless monstrosity there. 2 attack dice ... ah! 2 skulls!
Ariel: Yikes! But I roll 3 shields on my 4 defense dice.
Heddy: Ah well. Next I roll 1 skull.
Ariel: 2 shields!
Sasha: My turn? My Necrotech Geistfire moves here and takes a shot at your big-wings bigwig. 3 dice ... aaand 3 shields. My other guys follow him.
Heddy: So that's where my 3 shields went.
Ariel: My turn? Ca-ping puts an order marker on ... Mr. No-skin! He's climbing up on this hill, which is a leaving engagement attack from one of your buggy dudes, Heddy.
Heddy: One die, right? It's a wound. Hallelujah.
Ariel: That's okay because I'm doing Withering Breath on both your guys now, and having a wound lets me do an extra attack die. 3 skulls!
Heddy: Both of them are now very, very withered.
Ariel: Yes! I also get to remove a wound the first time I whack a figure in a turn.
Heddy: This is really not seeming very fair.
Ariel: Well, Ca-ping is moving next to this cannon to blast your last Infantry guy with it! Let's see. Umm ... no ... er ... dang it. That bush is totally in the way! Okey doke, I'll just switch to this spitty bug here. Boom! 2 skulls.
Heddy: Zero shields. This battle is leaning pretty heavy into ignominious territory. Thankfully, my second marker is on my Elites of Ullar, not my Skordyre Infantry. So I'll fly my Elites up to hide by these bushes ... oh. No I won't, because I only have movement of 4. In that case, I'll just spread them out so the most that can get cannoned is 1.
Sasha: This is really terrible so far. 
Heddy: I know, right?
Sasha: Okay, my Geistfire guy ... oops ... was supposed to roll last turn to see if his blaster blew up. Whew! It didn't. He's climbing up to take on -- okay, what's this guy's actual name? Thormun? And I can get right next to him so there's no worry of my gun backfiring. 2 skulls.
Heddy: Don't say "2 skulls" so dispiritedly. It's like you're already assuming you won't do any damage.
Ariel: Yeah, Sash. I've only got 3 defense. See? 1 wound.
Sasha: Fantastic. Out of how many?
Ariel: Um ... 8.
Sasha: Okay, I want my number 3 order marker back.
Heddy: Me too.
Ariel: But ... the rules ...
Sasha: Let's just see how your next turn goes, I guess. Oh, and the one after that too, since you still have 2 left.
Ariel: Uh ... oh! I remembered my Kraken finally! I'll put a tentacle right here next to this dogzombie with the gun.
Sasha: Terrific.
Ariel: So ... now I put a command marker on Raelin and fly her up here to this cannon ... looks like she can shoot at Heddy's Burping Soldier ... I mean Bursting! Sorry! Don't look at me so mean!
Heddy: (sigh) Just roll your cannon attack.
Ariel: 2 skulls.
Heddy: I have 4 defense dice, and ... shockingly, I roll 2 shields!
Ariel: See? It's not that bad yet.
Sasha: Emphasis on the "yet" ... except I really do think it's that bad.
Ariel: Okay, so Ca-ping gets his first attack on zombiedog ... 1 skull.
Sasha: 2 shields.
Ariel: Yay! You guys are starting to do great! Now my second attack ... oh, that's 4 skulls.
Sasha: (glare!)
Ariel: Is he dead? Okay, I guess he's dead. Fine, you guys can use your number three markers. Where is yours going, Heddy?
Heddy: My Skordyre Infantry, for certain. I'll activate this Bursting Soldier who survived by the skin of his teeth last time. Wait. Does he have teeth? Does he have skin? I guess it's more like the ... exoskeleton of his mandibles? At any rate, he'll scuttle over here and bite at your Mr. No-skin. I have elevation, so that's 3 dice ... and 1 skull. 
Ariel: I roll a shield.
Sasha: My number 3 will be the ghoul dogs. I'll move one of my other ghoul heroes over by this tree ... and start climbing up to the deck of the ship. Your turn.
Ariel: I guess my Ramosaur Rider will move here and head-butt your ... Bursting bug ... 1 skull.
Heddy: 1 shield. Whew.
Ariel: Oh, uh ... when the Ramosaur Rider and the defender roll the same number of things, they both take 1 wound.
Heddy: Fine. Well, at least he gets to burst. I need a 9 or better for each of your figures to deal a wound. 7 on your Ramosaur ... 18 on the no-skin monstrosity.
Ariel: So now it's Ca-ping's turn ... I guess I'll take it easy on you and instead of cannoning anybody, I'll fly here and attack this wing lady of yours, Heddy. 1 skull.
Heddy: 3 shields. The roll I'm about to actually need when you attack again.
Ariel: Wow! You totally called that! 3 skulls!
Heddy: 2 shields, so 1 wound, which she can actually survive.
Ariel: Okay, new order markers!
Sasha: First, I get to replace one of my squad figures with the dead Geistfire because they can scavenge each others' parts.
Heddy: Hm! Macabre, but also cool. I'm ready.
Ariel: Me too!
Sasha: Me three. 16 for initiative. 
Heddy: 18!
Ariel: 14. See? You guys are cooking now.
Sasha: Yeah, we've done 3 whole points of damage and we're only down, what, 5 figures? Tides turned. You can concede anytime now.
Heddy: My number one is this Skordyre Infantry, who activates ... this Lurking Hive Soldier who has attack 4 ... and gets 1 skull.
Ariel: Sorry. 2 shields.
Heddy: Next, this Bursting Soldier ... again, 1 skull.
Ariel: Shield.
Sasha: Okay, the regular Reavers are heading in Thormun's direction. The Geistfire stays on the ship and shoots at Raelin. 1 skull for me too.
Heddy: At least we're consistent.
Ariel: Let's see ... she's got ... 3 defense. And she gets a shield. So, it's Thormun's turn, and he'll command ... Mr. No-skin. He's going to dash over here where he can Withering Breath a couple of your guys. Only 2 attack this time ... 1 skull. 
Heddy: Both of my characters defend. 
Ariel: Thormun -- I mean, Ca-ping -- he'll attack your Elite wingy lady ... yikes, 3 skulls!
Heddy: Ha. I also roll 3 skulls. Extremely dead.
Ariel: Then I guess my second attack is on this Lurking dude ... only 1 skull! Yay!
Heddy: Celebrations. I defend. My second order marker is on the Elites of Ullar. The remaining 2 of them move up to attack Thormun. 1 skull followed by ... 3 skulls! Finally a good roll. 
Ariel: My guy rolls 1 shield followed by 1 shield, so 2 more wounds. Maybe I shouldn't've flown him down here.
Sasha: Let's see if I can turn that from a "maybe" to a "for sure." Agent Carr's my next marker, and he moves in here to chop your Captain-Pirate-Admiral-King M.F. with his Sword of Reckoning. 6 dice! Yes, 4 skulls!
Ariel: Oh, man. I feel really bad about this. 3 shields. But at least I'm down half my hit points now. For my turn, first I'll put a marker on Raelin and fly her down to do a Whirlwind Assault on these two insecty things. 2 skulls on each one!
Heddy: Wow, I roll 2 shields for each one.
Ariel: Okay, so now Thormun figures he better take care of this Agent Carr guy. First attack is 2 skulls.
Sasha: Uh-huh. Look at that. I get 4 skulls. You're off to a great start.
Ariel: Only 1 skull on my second attack, though.
Sasha:  I defend.
Heddy: Elites of Ullar again. 2 skulls and 2 skulls.
Ariel: This could be bad ... no shields! And ... YIPE! NO SHIELDS! He's dead!
Sasha: Now you can say you shouldn't have flown him down there.
Heddy: That was very satisfying. At last.
Ariel: Yeah, I shouldn't have flown him down there. But I did also fly Raelin down there, and she gets to do a Vengeful Swoop. She flies over here and spears your Elite of Ullar on an 8 or better ... 11! 1 wound. I'm screwed now though because all my order markers were on Thormun. So I don't get my order marker 3.
Sasha: Nice. I like hearing that. New order markers. I'm done.
Ariel: Me too.
Heddy: Likewise.
Sasha: 11 initiative.
Heddy: 2.
Ariel: Woohoo, 15! I put my number 1 on Raelin, so she gets another Whirlwind Attack. 2 skulls on Agent Carr, 1 skull on this new Elite of Ullar, 2 skulls on this wounded one.
Sasha: Agent Carr is safe.
Heddy: Surprisingly, so are both my Elites.
Ariel: Poop.
Sasha: Sword of Vengeance on Raelin! 4 skulls!
Ariel: Erk, no shields! She's dead-ola!
Sasha: Yes!
Heddy: First up for me is my Skordyre Infantryman. He'll activate a couple of Hive Soldiers ... This Lurking one first, for 3 skulls on Mr. No-skin.
Ariel: 1 wound.
Heddy: Then this Bursting one ... 2 skulls!
Ariel: I'm sweating! Okay, safe.
Heddy: Then now it's the Infantry's turn. He'll move up and attack, getting an extra die because at least 2 of his hivemates are adjacent to you. 2 skulls.
Ariel: Only 1 shield. He's dead. My order marker 2 is these wingy-dingy guys, who would've given Mr. No-skin a free turn if he didn't bite it. They just fly closer.
Sasha: My number 2 is Agent Carr, so he's going to ride his weird rat-dog-horse over here and shoot at your Ramosaur Rider. Only 2 attack ... 1 skull.
Ariel: Ramosaur better not blow this ... okay, he's safe.
Heddy: Number 2 for me is the Elites. They fly closer to the shipwreck.
Ariel: It's my axe orcs, then. First, they give Ramosaur Rider a turn to go headbutt Agent Carr. Ooh, and he can climb up on this hill next to you and get an extra die ... blah! No skulls.
Sasha: Does that mean I have to roll defense anyway and if I get zero shields, we both take a wound?
Ariel: Oh, gosh. Actually, I guess it does!
Sasha: Nope, safe.
Ariel: Axe orcs on the march, then. 
Sasha: My number 3 is the Necrotech Reavers. First they give this Geistfire a turn. I guess he's just going to use this cannon on your Kraken tentacle. 3 skulls!
Ariel: One shield. It's dead. Wow, I did so terrible with that stupid Kraken when it should have been so cool!
Sasha: That's the breaks. Okay, my squad guys will move this way.
Heddy: My number 3 is this Lurking Hive Soldier. He'll move up to your Ramosaur Rider and ... roll 1 skull. And you have elevation. 
Ariel: He's safe but barely! New order markers!
Sasha: Done.
Heddy: Done.
Ariel: Done.
Sasha: 18 initiative. 
Heddy: 9.
Ariel: 17.
Sasha: Agent Carr is chopping dinosaur. Sword of Vengeance! Fff. Only 2 skulls. 
Ariel: Eek! No shields! Dead! And I was about to use him, too! Now all I get to do is move my axe orcs.
Heddy: My turn? Skordyre Infantry. Lurking Soldier scurries up and rolls 2 skulls on this Chain Grut.
Ariel: He's safe.
Heddy: One skull from this Bursting Soldier, then.
Ariel: Safe!
Heddy: My Infantrybug moves here then, and that's it for me.
Sasha: Agent Carr! He zips over to this Revenant dude and uses his Sword of Vengeance again. 3 skulls.
Ariel: He's suuper dead. But now it's time for orcs with axes! GZZRRRR! 1 skull on Agent Carr and 2 skulls on Agent Carr.
Sasha: Safe and safe.
Ariel: 2 skulls on the Lurking bug!
Heddy: 1 shield. It dies.
Ariel: 2 skulls on the Bursting bug!
Heddy: It bursts. But I don't make my Acid Sac roll. My kyrie Elites fly up onto the ship and one trains a cannon on your kyrie down there. 3 skulls.
Ariel: Dang-a-ding-dong dead.
Sasha: My number 3 are my Reavers. The hero moves over here on the ship deck and these others move closer to your orcs.
Ariel: My last wingy guy flies up and attacks Agent Carr for 2 skulls.
Sasha: He takes a wound.
Heddy: My number 3 is this Lurker way the heck over here where he started the game out. He Lurks his way over as fast as he can.
Ariel: So ... I guess it's order marker time? Only all I've got left are 4 orcs and a wingman, and you guys have all those people left. I think I kinda ought to give up. Especially since it's getting late.
Sasha: It's 10:00 on a Saturday.
Ariel: Oh my gosh, it's already 10:00? No wonder I'm so tired. Yeah, I definitely give, guys.
Sasha: Now I feel kind of bad about pressuring you into letting us use those other order markers.
Ariel: It's okay. I think I lost more from doing dumb stuff like flying my big boss down where you could all swarm him and also missing like 6 or 7 times I could have put out my other 4 Kraken tentacles. But it was fun anyway!
Heddy: Thank you for inviting me, Ariel. And thank you for being on my team, Sash.
Sasha: Pff, sure. But you know everybody is Team Heddy around here since you showed up.
Heddy: I know. But it's still so nice to be able to tell you how much I appreciate you.
Ariel: Yay! Group hug!
Sasha and Heddy and Ariel: (hug!)
Ariel: Next time I swear I'm going to beat you guys, though.

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... G.I. Joe Heroscape!

Sasha: Hey, what's this?
Ariel: Pretty sure it's new Heroscape, can't you tell?
Sasha:  I mean, yeah, but we got new Heroscape and you didn't let me know before you got it out of the box and set it all up?
Ariel: I guess our boyfriend caught onto us and made sure he was around when the package came, so he got to unbox everything and see it first. But who cares? It's right here and all set up, so let's play!
Sasha: Sure ... only for some reason it kind of feels like it won't be as much fun if we aren't sneaking to play with it before he gets a chance to. Also, this set looks really different. What's up with that?

Ariel: It's because it's G.I. Joe Heroscape, and some of these guys are G.I. Joes, which our boyfriend says were really big when he was a kid.
Sasha: I don't know how big they could have been. I mean, I've never heard of them. 
Ariel: No, I mean, like, actually big. 12 inches tall or something.
Sasha: Well that's way too big for Heroscape figures.
Ariel: I know, duh, which is obviously why they made them tons smaller. Anyway, there are these G.I. Joe guys, who are the good guys, and they fight these Cobra guys, who are the baddies.
Sasha: Hang on, there are good guys and bad guys? Heroscape doesn't usually get that specific. It's usually just, guys-who-fight-and-look-mean-and-scary and guys-who-fight-and-look-brave-and-less-scary.
Ariel: Yeah, but before we get too much into that, we've got to do the most important thing.
Sasha: What's that?
Ariel: Come up with something to call the whole thing! I mean, "G.I. Joe Heroscape" is just way to much to say every time we want to talk about it.
Sasha: True. Do you have any ideas so far?
Ariel: Not good ones. I came up with "Geeroscape" and "HeJoescape," but those seem sorta lame.
Sasha: How about "GeeJoescape?"
Ariel: Oh! That's better for sure. I mean, not amazing, but I guess we can try it out and see if anything even better pops into our heads.
Sasha: All right. So do we just want to jump right in and get playing?
Ariel: Sure! The map is for this first scenario, "Rumble at the Rift." The book says one of the bad guys is an evil genius and he made this nasty machine that's turned a spot on the map into a giant suck-hole. He's that one there, "Doctor Mindbender."
Sasha: Does he get to control the suck-hole since he made it?
Ariel: No, apparently it wasn't that good of an idea to make it. But he did, so now it's there and it sucks. The goal of the scenario is for us to just wipe each other's guys out. Pretty easy. Only there's three ways to play, Rookie, Seasoned, or Veteran. Rookie uses the boring-o Basic rules, so let's not do that one.
Sasha: Is Seasoned better?
Ariel: Probably better for you.
Sasha: Why?
Ariel: Cause everyone knows you're spicy!
Sasha: Haha. So Seasoned uses the Master rules I'm guessing? And then maybe some special rule for the suck-hole?
Ariel: No, just the Master rules. The suck-hole doesn't do anything in the Seasoned version.
Sasha: Then why'd they bother telling us about it?
Ariel: I dunno, just to show the bad guys are bad guys, maybe?
Sasha: What about the Veteran setting.
Ariel: That's where there's rules for the suck-hole. After each dude's turn, the person that took the turn gets to pick a figure and move it one space toward that marker that shows where the suck-hole is. Oh, wait, no. You look at what round it is, and you move one figure that many spaces toward the suck-hole. If they get sucked in, it gobbles them into another world or something.
Sasha: Sheesh, so if the game lasts 7 or 8 rounds, after every turn somebody gets moved 7 or 8 spaces toward that thing?
Ariel: No, because I forgot to tell you at the end of 5 rounds, it's game over and if there are any Cobra guys left, they win because they escape. That's in any of the versions.
Sasha: Let's play the Veteran version then. I feel like after hearing those suck-hole rules the Seasoned version will be pretty bland even if they're calling it "Seasoned." How are we going to decide who gets which set of guys?
Ariel: I want to be the good guys!
Sasha: But what if I want to be the good guys?
Ariel: Then we'll have to roll a die or play the one-two-three game or something to decide and if I lose I'll be all mad because I have to play the bad guys and then maybe I'll decide GeeJoescape is dumb.
Sasha: Fine, I'll be the bad guys. I think they look kind of cooler anyway.
Ariel: I don't think so.
Sasha: Doesn't matter. I do. Do you have your order markers where you want them?
Ariel: Yes!
Sasha: Me too. Roll initiative!
Ariel: 10.
Sasha: Yuck. 1. All right, which one of your guys goes first?
Ariel: Nobody yet, because I have this special ability on my hot red-head chick Scarlett that lets me look at all the markers on one of your cards, and then I get to move one of my markers from one card to another. So I'm definitely picking that guy you put three markers on!
Sasha: Boo. Anyway, that guy is Doctor Mindbender, and --
Ariel: I think I'll call him Doctor Suck-hole.
Sasha: I don't know if you want to taunt an evil genius like him, but whatever you say. Anyway, he's got my 1, 2, and X markers on him.
Ariel: Okay, then I'm definitely moving this marker here to Scarlett.
Sasha: Who's your number one, then?
Ariel: Snake Eyes! If I had 2 number ones he'd be both of them, but I don't. Anyhow, he's going to run over here behind this wall-a-ma-jig thing. And then the suck-hole is going to move Scarlet one space closer to it.
Sasha: Cool. My number one is Doctor Mindbender --
Ariel: (suck-hole)
Sasha: -- and he has a special power that lets him move any adjacent allies 3 spaces before he takes his turn. So Cobra Commander goes one-two-three and then Storm Shadow goes one-two-three and then Doctor Mindbender actually goes for a real turn. He's not going far, though, because I want him to end up next to both of my guys again.
Ariel: Dang, that's a cool power. You're smart!
Sasha: Maybe. As for who gets sucked ... I'll move your Cross-Eyes guy toward the suck-hole.
Ariel: Well, that guy is my number 2 guy anyhow, so I'm not worried about him getting sucked in. I was hoping your guys would get a little closer though so I could run up and ninja them. So I'm going to kind of double back and hide behind this wall here. Then the suck-hole moves Scarlett again.
Sasha: All right. Then on my turn Doctor
Ariel: (suck-hole)
Sasha:  Mindbender moves his allies 3 spaces ... Cobra Commander is kind of a chicken so he's not getting too close to you. Storm Shadow moves up here ... Then DM moves where he can see Cross-Eyes and shoot at him. Or zap him with this magic wand thing or whatever it is he's holding. 3 dice, 2 skulls!
Ariel: Okay, well, Snake Eyes gets 2 extra dice if you shoot at him from far away, so that's 5 dice, and I get 2 shields. Time for my number 3 ... Scarlett! She's going in closer to Doc Suck and hitting him with 3 dice ... plus 2 more because she's got "Knowing is Half the Battle" and she gets an extra die for every order marker that's revealed on your guy. 5 dice again ... 3 skulls!
Sasha: DM has 4 defense and gets 2 shields, so 1 wound.
Ariel: Ha! Now I'm having the suck-hole pull Cobra Commander down from his elevation spot like this. Your turn.
Sasha: My number 3 is Storm Shadow, so he's charging at Cross-eyes. Zoom! And he attacks with 4 attack dice for 2 skulls.
Ariel: Ack! Snake Eyes rolls no shields! Owie!
Sasha: And since you pulled CC down, I'll do the same to Scarlett. End of round 1.
Ariel: Order markers done!
Sasha: That was fast. Okay, me too. I get 11 this time for initiative.
Ariel: 9. Yuck. Uh ... I'm looking at Doc Suck again with Scarlett's power.
Sasha: He's got the 2 and the X. My number 1 is Storm Shadow, who's going to try taking out Cross-Eyes right here, baby. Woohoo! 4 skulls!
Ariel: Eep! Only one shield means he's dead!
Sasha: Sweet. Now on the end of my turn I'm putting a shadow tile under me so I'll defend better if attacked, and the suck-hole pulls Scarlett right over next to me!

Ariel: Dang, I hate that thing.
Sasha: Oh. Boo. I'm next to this wall and the shadow tile won't fit.
Ariel: Haha, it's your tiny centipede legs all over again! Scarlett's going to circle round your shady guy and attack him. You had to reveal your order marker to go, so I get 4 dice ... 2 skulls.
Sasha: 1 shield, so 1 wound.
Ariel: Yeah, but now I have Lethal to the Bone! I get to move up to 2 spaces and attack again ... 2 more skulls.
Sasha: 1 shield again.
Ariel: Now the suck-hole sucks Doctor Suck 2 spaces toward it into this gully here. Your turn.
Sasha: DM isn't worried. He's going to move to here and attack Scarlett ... pff. No skulls. But he gets to use his Bend Mind power ... on a 13 or better, I'm taking control of Scarlett and getting a turn with her!
Ariel: Uh-oh.
Sasha: Nope. 8. Then I'll have the suck-hole suck your guy with the big gun up close to me because hopefully it'll keep him from being as effective with that gun.
Ariel: Scarlett goes again! 4 skulls on ShadyStorm!
Sasha: Glurk, dead. Man, these ninjas fold up real easy, don't they.
Ariel: Seems like it. For her extra deal, Scarlett rushes Doc Suck and whacks him. Boo. Only 1 skull.
Sasha: Safe.
Ariel: Not safe from getting sucked by the suck-hole, though. Here you go!
Sasha: That's not great. All right, Cobra Commander's turn ... he moves here and shoots at Scarlett ... 1 skull.
Ariel: Dang, no shields.
Sasha: Suuuuckkk! Your guy with the gun gets pulled over next to DM.
Ariel: Okay, well, it's his turn and he's going to be brave and risk Doc Suck getting a free whack in on him by moving up here.
Sasha: Score! You take a wound.
Ariel: Bleh. I get to use my Machine Gun special attack now, though, and I can shoot both your guys for 3 dice each. Doc Suck -- 2 skulls!
Sasha: 3 shields. Yawn.
Ariel: Cobra Commander -- 2 skulls!
Sasha: Erk. No shields.
Ariel: Now Doc Suck gets sucked right next to the suck-hole! If I win initiative next round, he's doomed!
Sasha: Yeah, I don't like the looks of this.
Ariel: My markers are ready.
Sasha: Mine too. Where's the initiative die.
Ariel: I've got it! 19! Beat that, Doc Suck!
Sasha: No can do, I guess. That's a 15.
Ariel: My markers are staying where they are, then. Roadblock is first, and he's moving here to kablam! at Cobra Commander. 4 dice, 2 skulls.
Sasha: 2 more wounds for the Commander. This is bad.
Ariel: SUUCCCKKKKK! Bye-bye, Doctor Brainy-brain! Enjoy that other world, I hope it's stinky!
Sasha: And he was my number 1, so it's your turn again.
Ariel: Woohoo! Scarlett! Up in your face, Cobra Commander! Only 1 skull, though.
Sasha: 1 shield, so I'm safe ... ish.
Ariel: Lethal to the Bone! Dang it, only 1 skull again.
Sasha: 2 shields.
Ariel: SUUCCCKKKKK! Down in the gully, CC.
Sasha: I'll climb back up and come hit you with my Cutlassss for 3 dice plus 1 automatic skull. 3 skulls total.
Ariel: That's 2 wounds. Ow.
Sasha: Now I'll suck Roadblock over near the suck-hole.
Ariel: That's okay, Scarlett's killing you now before he can get any closer. 2 skulls ... 
Sasha:  You called it. No shields. He's dead.
Ariel: I win! GeeJoescape is awesome!
Sasha: We'll see how the next one goes.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Pumpkin Spice!

Ariel: OMG, look at this!

Sasha: Ooh, cute picture! But isn't it the wrong time of year for pumpkin spice to be flooding the universe? Wait, does that say RPG?
Ariel: It does! And I saw this thing, and I clicked on it, and now we have to get our boyfriend to buy it for us!
Sasha: Details, please.
Ariel: It's a roleplaying game!
Sasha: That's how I interpreted "RPG." What I mean is, more details about what kind of game and why we need him to buy it.
Ariel: A roleplaying one. I said that. And we need it because it looks SO AWESOME AND CUTE.
Sasha: Even more details, please. I mean, the picture does look awfully cute, but it looks like she's just drinking coffee with a ghost cat. What do you actually do in this game?
Ariel: Witchy stuff! She's a witch, see? You can tell from the hat.
Sasha: So you mean, everybody in the party is a spellcaster? What do you fight?
Ariel: I dunno, maybe trolls and things that come into your café and want special troll coffee only you're out of it so they get mad.
Sasha: You don't sound like you actually know a whole lot about this game, for someone who wants to shell out what I'm guessing is a bunch of money for it.
Ariel: Oh, don't worry, it's not even money, it's "euros."
Sasha: I'm pretty sure euros are money.
Ariel: Whatever. I'll let our boyfriend worry about it after we convince him. And I do know a lot about it, because I downloaded these quickstart rules and looked at all the pictures. Plus I even read some of it! That's how I know it's awesome on top of being cute.
Sasha: Okay, where's this download? Lemme look at it.
Ariel: It's open in this window over here.
Sasha: Uh-huh. Hmm. Okay ... wow, I see why you looked at all the pictures -- this art is gorge.
Ariel: I know, right?
Sasha: I don't see any trolls, though. I mean, it looks like they're just making coffee and stuff.
Ariel: Well, I didn't see anything about fighting when I read it, and you asked about fighting, so I had to just guess about that.
Sasha: I see. So ... reading the intro, it seems like this game really is just about making coffee and running a café.
Ariel: Yes, but you're witches.
Sasha: Don't get me wrong, I'm on board, mostly because of how crazy adorable this art is. I just want to know what I'm getting into before we ask you-know-who to shell out for another game. I mean, we already have tons of them.
Ariel: Not ones about witches running a café!
Sasha: True. So where do you get it and how much is it?
Ariel: One of those online crowd-kicking sites, and it's like 150 of those euro things. Plus shipping I guess. I hope it's not too much money in real money.
Sasha: I think a euro is worth more than a dollar, but I might be thinking of a pound.
Ariel: A pound is definitely not money, Sash. Even I know that, the scale tells me whenever I stand on it.
Sasha: It's also a kind of money. They use it in England. Whoa! I just scrolled down and that 150 euros is for like the second-biggest package in the campaign!
Ariel: What?! I missed a bigger one?
Sasha: The rulebook on its own isn't even a quarter of that ... and it's even cheaper if you just get the PDFs. I dunno if the boyfriend is going to go for an extra-huge collection of stuff for a weird game about witches making coffee.
Ariel: Well we just have to show him the even expensiver one to make him think this one's a bargain, then. Look, you get two books, and all these cards, and dice, and character sheets and stuff ... there's a ton of it! Even a journal! You know he likes a good journal.
Sasha: True, and he is a sucker for really good art, which all of this looks like it is. Worth a shot then, I guess. The worst he can say is "no."
Ariel: I mean, he could say, "No, and by the way the zombie apocalypse just got started and we're all about to get eaten to death." That would be worse.
Sasha: Uh ... I guess I can't argue over whether it's worse to not get a game or worse to get eaten by zombies.
Ariel: No, I mean the part about getting eaten to death and not getting the game, on account of it's one of these backstarter things so they're not even going to ship it for probably a year, which would be way after we got eaten.
Sasha: Sure, but if he said, "no," that's already keeping us from getting the game. No zombie apocalypse needed.
Ariel: Sash. We could totally convince him to change his mind about saying no. And it would be even easier changing his mind if there was a zombie apocalypse, because what's he going to spend the money on anyway when there's zombies running around eating everybody?
Sasha: I guess I can't argue about that either.
Ariel: Great! Let's go ask him and if he says no we can get to work whining and making sad puppy eyes until he says okay.
Sasha: Sure, and if he says, "No, and there's a zombie apocalypse," then we can get to work running and screaming.
Ariel: I sure hope he doesn't say that.
Sasha and Ariel: Okay, bye, everybody, and wish us luck!

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Watanare!

Sasha: Okay, you're going to be really happy about this thing I found out about "There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless ..."
Ariel: Is this going to be you trying to make me look lazy with more stuff you learned by looking at Wikipedia?
Sasha: Nope, not at all. In fact, the whole reason you're going to be happy about it is that it's something we can both be lazy about. Because I found out that instead of "There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless ..." some people just call this show "Watanare."
Ariel: What's a naray?
Sasha: No, "Watanare."
Ariel: No, I get that that's what you said. I'm just asking what a naray is so I can understand why people are so impressed by it that they say "What a naray!" instead of saying ... you know, the whole name of the show.
Sasha: Look, I'm not saying "What a naray." I'm saying W-a-t-a-n-a-r-e. It's Japanese.
Ariel: Well then why did you think I would understand it at all? I don't know any Japanese. Akane keeps saying she wants to teach us, but everybody keeps being too lazy to get her to.
Sasha: I didn't think you would understand it. I don't even understand it. But it's a shortened version of the Japanese title of the show, and I figured you'd be all about using a shorter version of a title.
Ariel: Well I am, but that doesn't mean I don't still want to understand it. Sheesh, it's like you're teasing me with saying here's a chance for me to be lazy about something and you won't even criticize me about it, only now I've got to go and learn a whole other language to understand what I'm saying!
Sasha: Do you really have to understand it to just use it to talk about the show?
Ariel: How am I even going to remember it if I don't understand it? If it's just a bunch of sounds squooshed together, how's it supposed to stick in my head? I mean, I already don't remember. "What-a-whatsit?"
Sasha: Let's just go with that, then. Considering we call things by the wrong name all the time anyhow.
Ariel: Okay, I guess. So what are we going to say about Whatawhatsit today?
Sasha: I dunno, the usual kind of thing, I guess. Like what we liked about it, and if there was anything we didn't like, what that was too, and maybe something funny about the characters -- especially if we can think of funny names to call them that aren't their real names. But before we say anything, we probably ought to tell people to put their spoiler blankets on.
Ariel: OMG. We didn't do that at all last time!
Sasha: I kept trying to say we should.
Ariel: Really? Then why didn't you?
Sasha: You kept interrupting me before I could get it out.
Ariel: (That's what she said!) Haha!
Sasha: Anyhow, I'm saying it now. If people don't want to have the extra bonus season of Watanare spoiled for them, they should definitely put their spoiler blankets over their heads right now. Okay. Done and done. So what was your favorite thing about this show?
Ariel: So many cute girls! There was Cute Pink-Hair Girl, and Cute Blond-Hair Girl ...
Sasha: I thought she was more pretty than cute.
Ariel: Oh. Maybe you're right. Then there was Cute Black-Hair Girl -- oh, shoot. She was more pretty than cute too.
Sasha: Although it was kind of cute the way she was so sarcastic and borderline emotionless at the same time.
Ariel: Brown-Hair Girl was definitely cute-cute, though, not just pretty cute or with a cute-ish personality twitch.
Sasha: She was very cute and pretty at the same time. Also super nice.
Ariel: Wayyy the nicest one on the show, for sure. And that just leaves Cute Green-Hair Girl.
Sasha: Are you just calling them by their hair colors because you can't remember anything else about them or about the show?
Ariel: I remember lots of stuff!
Sasha: Really? Like what?
Ariel: Like when Cute Pink-Hair Girl finally got around to admitting she liked both Cute Blond-Hair Girl and Cute Brown-Hair Girl.
Sasha: That was like, literally the last thing that happened in the series.
Ariel: At least I remembered it, though. You didn't even remember what "Whatawhatsit" means.
Sasha: Watanare. And it's not that I don't remember what it means, because I never knew what it meant.
Ariel: Are you sure? Maybe you just don't remember that you knew what it meant, along with not remembering what it meant. I mean, it seems like you're forgetting an awful lot of stuff, so maybe you forgot that too.
Sasha: What are you talking about? What other stuff do you think I'm forgetting?
Ariel: You know! All that stuff! I don't want to list it all off or you'll get too embarrassed.
Sasha: Anyway ... Watanare is a show that's mostly about this pink-haired girl who was a big shut-in in middle school, so when she gets to high school, she decides she's going to be popular and extroverted and make a lot of friends. She falls in with this group of four other girls that's centered around the super-smart, super-pretty blond girl, who is also a famous model despite just being a freshman in high school. But because the pink-haired girl's such an introvert, she keeps getting exhausted by trying to keep up with all their conversations, and a week or two into freshman year, she kind of freaks out about it and runs up to the roof to get some fresh air and decompress. But then the super-pretty blond model girl comes up too and sees her leaning over the railing and thinks she's about to jump, so she runs at her and yells for her to stop, which startles Pink-Hair Girl and makes her actually fall, and then Super-Pretty Blond Model Girl has to jump off the roof too to grab her and make them both tumble into the top of a tree nearby. See? I remembered all of that even though it was from back in the very first episode.
Ariel: Well ... I don't want to be mean, so I'm not going to mention all the stuff you remembered wrong just then.
Sasha: What? What stuff? 
Ariel: I said I wasn't going to mention it, didn't I? Sheesh!
Sasha: Whatever. Anyway, then Super-Pretty Blond Model Girl decides that she's fallen in love with Pink-Hair Girl and insists that they need to become girlfriends, which is where the title comes in.
Ariel: I thought you said you didn't know what the title meant?
Sasha: No, I mean the "There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless ..." version of the title.
Ariel: Oh, I get it. Aha! Also, I get what the "Unless ..." part of that title means, now!
Sasha: You do? What does it mean?
Ariel: It means, "Unless You're Going To Get It On With Both Me And Cute Brown-Hair Girl!" Thank heavens they didn't make that the title instead of just putting the dot-dot-dot there. That would have been a cray-cray long title.
Sasha: It also would have been a big-time spoiler for how the extra-bonus season ended.
Ariel: Probably not. Probably with it being that long, most people wouldn't have read all the way to the end of the title anyway.
Sasha: I kind of feel like they would, though, Aers. I mean, most people aren't you.
Ariel: What's that supposed to mean?
Sasha: Just that I don't think most people would get so exhausted reading 14 extra words that they'd give up and not finish reading the title.
Ariel: I didn't say they'd stop reading from being exhausted! Quit acting like I'm all lazy that way. I meant they'd stop reading the title because they'd be so excited about actually reading the story, so they'd skip right to that. Or skip right to watching the show.
Sasha: Uh-huh. So are you going to actually say anything about the show at any point?
Ariel: I already did! I guess you forgot about that part too.
Sasha: You know what? Forget I said anything at all.
Ariel: What you said when?
Sasha: This whole time I've been talking!
Ariel: What whole time?
Sasha: Would you stop that?
Ariel: But you told me to forget you said anything. I was just doing what you wanted.
Sasha: Uh-huh. Why does that not work literally any other time I say you should do something?
Ariel: There's lots of times you say I should do something and I do it!
Sasha: Really? Like when?
Ariel: Um ... do you really want me to say? Cause that's a whole other list of things that I think you might get embarrassed if I went and listed them all. If you know what I mean!
Sasha: Oh. Yeah, okay. 
Ariel: So ... is there anything else you want to say about Whatawhatsit?
Sasha: Hmm ...
Ariel: Or -- is there anything else you want to say I should do?
Sasha: Why are you batting your eyes at me like that?
Ariel: No reason!
Sasha: Uh ... okay ... Goodnight, everybody!

Sasha and Ariel Experience ... There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless ... !

Sasha: Okay, time to get down to it and us get some blogging done to start the New Year!
Ariel: Yeah, we've kinda been slacking since ... yeep, like, last September or something?
Sasha: Soooo many things we've been experiencing since then that we could have blogged about!
Ariel: I don't even want to think about it.
Sasha: Anyway, now that we finished watching the bonus season of this show, I figured we could use it as a quick way to get back in the swing of things.
Ariel: Whew! Thank goodness we're only talking about the bonus season! I barely hardly remember the first season, and I even barely-er, hardly-er remember the manga, cause we read that ages ago.
Sasha: Well, I mean, we could still talk about the first season or the manga, or at least the parts we remember. It's not like we only have to talk about the bonus season.
Ariel: Maybe you don't only have to talk about it, but I only have to talk about it on account of it's all I remember.
Sasha: All right, no biggie. In that case, we should --
Ariel: I mean ... I guess I do remember when we started watching the first season this summer I was all, "Wait, did everything happen this fast in the manga?" Because I didn't remember everything happening that fast in the manga.
Sasha: True. The manga took more time getting things going than the show. But before we get too much into it, shouldn't we --
Ariel: Oh! Also, I must remember something more about the manga, because when we watched the bonus season, I was like, "Whoa, this is totally different from the manga. They obviously changed this way around from the original story."
Sasha: Well ... I think that's because we haven't read the part of the manga that the bonus season covers.
Ariel: What do you mean? Haven't we read all of the manga that there is?
Sasha: We've read all of it that's been translated into English, but there's another whole volume that hasn't been translated yet.
Ariel: OMG.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: You meant the whole bonus season was SPOILERS for a part of the manga that we haven't read yet?
Sasha: You didn't know that? I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious considering the end of the main season was pretty much the end of the last volume we read of the manga. Actually, it even went a little further than the last volume of the manga.
Ariel: I just thought that meant the people who did the show ran out of stuff from the manga and just figured they'd wing it. I didn't know there was a whole other volume we never read!
Sasha: Hmm. I guess you really don't want to hear what I read on Wikipedia getting ready for this post then.
Ariel: What? I mean, I don't even want to hear that you were reading on Wikipedia to get ready at all. Are you doing that before every post so you can show me up?
Sasha: No, why would I be trying to show you up?
Ariel: Because you think I'm lazy! But just because you're going and doing a bunch of extra homework before we start blogging doesn't mean I'm lazy!
Sasha: Those two things aren't connected at all, Aers. Plus, we already said at the start of this post that we've been slacking about posting, which basically means we've both been lazy.
Ariel: No it doesn't! Slacking just means we sort of haven't been doing it. Not that we're being lazy about it. It's like how "chillaxing" is put together from "chilling" and "relaxing." Only with slacking, it's "sort of" and "lacking" that you're putting together.
Sasha: Okay, you totally just now made that up to keep from having to admit we were being lazy about posting because then you'd be admitting you're lazy sometimes.
Ariel: No, I just now made it up because it's work making something like that up, so making it up proves I'm not lazy. Not everybody is unlazy enough to go around making up new words, you know.
Sasha: It's not a new word, though -- it's totally a word that already existed. What are you even talking about?
Ariel: It's a new word that just happens to be spelled the same as an alxisting word, which is another word I just made up by combining "already" and "existing." There's lots of words that are spelled the same as other words, you know. 
Sasha: Like "lots." I know.
Ariel: Not just "like" lots! Actually lots!
Sasha: No, I mean "lots" is more than one word. Like there are parking lots and also lots of words that are spelled the same.
Ariel: Oh, I get it.
Sasha: Also like "like." Like, you can like some one and someone can also be like someone else.
Ariel: Ooh! Or you can can someone like firing them or you can can them like boiling them in a jar to keep them from spoiling.
Sasha: That's pretty dark.
Ariel: Sorry. I was going to say like you can can vegetables by boiling them in a jar, but then I realized "them" was way shorter than "vegetables" so I just decided to use "them" because probably somebody must have done that at some point.
Sasha: Cannibals, I guess?
Ariel: OOH! Right! Like, most people aren't cannibals, but they are can-able if you're a cannibal and want to can them.
Sasha: ...
Ariel: If you don't believe me, I bet you could look it up on Wikipedia, since it seems like that's your thing.
Sasha: I don't even remember why I brought up Wikipedia in the first place.
Ariel: Because you said I didn't want to hear about it.
Sasha: Right. Oh yeah, the thing is, on Wikipedia I saw that not only was there a manga before the anime but also there was a "light novel" before the manga.
Ariel: What the heck is a light novel?
Sasha: It's a kind of Japanese novel that's mostly for a younger audience, written so it's easy to read and with illustrations in a manga sort of style. Apparently, quite a few anime shows come from manga that come from light novels.
Ariel: Okay? I mean, I don't know why I wouldn't want to hear about that.
Sasha: Because the light novel series for "There's No Freaking Way I'll Be Your Lover! Unless ..." is like, eight books long, and the stuff we just watched in the bonus season is from maybe book number four. Which means there's four other whole books of spoiler material out there for parts of the manga and show that haven't even been made yet.
Ariel: That's crazypants.
Sasha: But I guess we don't have to worry about that, since we'd have to go out of our way to get the light novels and read them in order to have anything spoiled by them.
Ariel: Unless someone kidnaps us and forces us to!
Sasha: That seems kind of unlikely, though.
Ariel: Well ... yeah, but even if it's unlikely, now I have to worry about it a little bitty-bit where before I didn't have to worry about it at all.
Sasha: Maybe what we should worry about more is actually posting about the anime?
Ariel: Whew, I'm sort of tired now, though. From all the worrying and all the word-inventing. And before you say anything, "tired" isn't the same thing as "lazy!"
Sasha: Actually, I was going to say I'm sort of tired now too. Let's try talking about the show again tomorrow, how about.
Ariel: Sure!
Sasha and Ariel: See you tomorrow then, everybody!