Ariel and Sasha Experience ...Heroscape -- Master Game!

Ariel: Jeepers. I don't know if I can actually do this game tonight after reading all those Master Game rules.
Sasha: You didn't read them, I read them to you! And a lot of them I just summarized.
Ariel: Well, I looked at all the pictures, and there were a lot of those too.
Sasha: If you're that tired from looking at some pictures, maybe we should wait until tomorrow to play.
Ariel: No way! I totally won't remember all the new rules if I sleep on it. We need to get going on it now or all that effort's going to be a waste!
Sasha: Fine. Since the map's already set up and the figures are already there, I say we play the Master Game version of the scenario we played last time.
Ariel: That works for me. Do I get to be the octo-lady with her cute pet critters this time?
Sasha: If you really want to. But you did win last time with the three piratey guys.
Ariel: Ooh, that's right! I better stick with them. So ... first, we roll for initiative?
Sasha: Close. First we put our Order Markers on the cards of our figures to set up which order we're using them in.
Ariel: Okay, done.
Sasha: Not facing toward me! If I see the order they're in, that gives me a strategic advantage.
Ariel: Oops! All right, there.
Sasha: You just turned them around. You have to at least pick them up and pretend to put them on other cards, or I'll still know what order you're using them in.
Ariel: Sash, I'm trying real hard here to give you a little more of a chance, since I pasted your team so bad last time.
Sasha: Umm ... that's nice and all, but if I win, I want to win fair and square.
Ariel: Fine. Done. Are you satisfied?
Sasha: Yep. Mine are set up too.
Ariel: I bet you put your "X" marker on your doggie critter.
Sasha: Why do you say that?
Ariel: Because X marks the spot, and he's a dog.
Sasha: Haha, cute. But the Master Game side of her card says she's a she, and her name is "Kita."
Ariel: What? No, that sounds too much like "Kitty." That's no name for a dog! When the octo-lady says, "Here, Kita, Kita," everybody's going to think she's calling for a cat!
Sasha: Great -- they'll totally be blindsided when it turns out she's a dog, then.
Ariel: Well ... I guess probably they won't, because instead of "Here, Kita, Kita," she'd probably say, "Glub, blub, blub." Cause she's an octopus and all.
Sasha: Anyway ... now we roll for initiative.
Ariel: Okay, gimme the attack dice!
Sasha: No, we roll the 20-sider in this version, remember?
Ariel: Yeah, I remembered. I just think rolling a fist-full of attack dice would be more fun.
Sasha: Whatever. Roll them, then, I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ariel: Yes! And woohoo, I got 3 skulls!
Sasha: Only 1 skull for me. You get to go first.
Ariel: Same as last time! Things may not be looking good for you this game either, Sash.
Sasha: We'll just have to see. Which one is your number 1 order marker on?
Ariel: It's Burny again. I'm moving him first just like last time, and I'm going to move him to the same place as last time too.
Sasha: Well, just like last time, he's not in range to shoot me either, so it's my turn. My number 1 is on Ewashia, Master of Tides.
Ariel: Who?
Sasha: The octo-lady.
Ariel: What! That's not what you did last game! You're ruining my whole strategy!
Sasha: Sorry. First thing she does is command one of her familiars.
Ariel: Her whats?
Sasha: Critters. And just to make you happy, I'll make it the owly one, Onshu the Welkineye.
Ariel: That's his name? He must blink a lot if he's got a welk in his eye. Whatever a welk is.
Sasha: Maybe. But he's flying to right here, and because he has "Flying" on his card, he doesn't have to pay extra movement to go up elevations.
Ariel: No fair!
Sasha: Aren't you the one who was complaining that he had to climb last game even though he has wings?
Ariel: No, I was just saying it was silly. It worked out great for me, so why would I complain?
Sasha: Anyway, he flies to right here --
Ariel: That's so far! And he totally didn't fly there last game!
Sasha: Life is hard. Now he gets to attack with his Sonic Blast Special Attack, and he gets to do it twice,  with Attack value 2 each time.
Ariel: Plus 1 for being up high. Ugh.
Sasha: No, it's a Special Attack, and those don't get the elevation bonus.
Ariel: Whew!
Sasha: Anyway, he's gonna screech at Burny ... and I roll 1 skull.
Ariel: Easy peasy to beat with my 7 Defense dice -- wait, what? On this side he only has 3!
Sasha: Yeah, but he's got 5 Life, which makes him way tougher to kill.
Ariel: Oh. That's okay, then. I roll ... 1 shield, so there!
Sasha: All right, I screech at him again for ... 2 skulls.
Ariel: I roll 1 shield.
Sasha: So 1 wound gets through. Put this wound marker on your card.
Ariel: That's okay I guess, since I've got 4 more. My turn!
Sasha: No, commanding her familiar was just the first thing Ewashia did. Now she gets to take her own turn.
Ariel: Geez, she's not nearly as much of a wuss as she was in the Basic Game.
Sasha: She's going to move to here and Create Water on this space in front of her.
Ariel: Haha!
Sasha: What?
Ariel: She totally peed herself.
Sasha: No, it's a Special Ability that lets me put down a water tile. No pee involved.
Ariel: Whatever you say. Does she attack me with her pee-water now?
Sasha: No, her normal attack only has a range of 1, and she Creates Water at the end of her turn, so I'm done.
Ariel: Okay, Burny is my number 2 turn too!
Sasha: Just like last time.
Ariel: Yes! Only this time, I'm climbing all the way up to the top of this hill, so I get an extra die, plus I've got this Intimidate thing where if you're within 3 spaces of me, you don't get to use all your Defense -- you've got to roll 1 dice less.
Sasha: That makes me a little nervous, but go ahead and roll.
Ariel: My Attack value's only 2, but I get to roll that extra die, and I get ... 3 skulls!
Sasha: Yowtch. My Defense is 4, but if I have to take 1 off, that's only 3 dice, and I only get 1 shield. Dang, I'm halfway dead.
Ariel: Your biggest guy only has 4 life? All my guys have 5!
Sasha: That's a pretty big edge ... it's my turn now, though, and I can see you only put those two markers on Burny, so I don't have to worry about him blasting me again this round. But I am going to fly Onshu over to ... here. Then he's gonna go shriek, shriek at Burny for 2 skulls.
Ariel: Boo! Just one shield! I take another wound!
Sasha: Onshu shrieks again. 2 more skulls.
Ariel: Really?!? Well, I'm going to do better this time, watch. Nope, 1 shield again. Burny's hurting pretty bad now.
Sasha: Ewashia's turn. She's staying put --
Ariel: Whew!
Sasha: But because she's next to a water tile, she can use her Twister Special Attack. It's got Range 6 and does 4 dice.
Ariel: That's crazy!
Sasha: She can also hit more than one target with it, but none of your other guys are close enough. Here's 3 skulls on Burny.
Ariel: Eek! I roll ... 2 shields! Yes! Still alive!
Sasha: That's it for my turn, then. Who's your number 3?
Ariel: Killin Veins again.
Sasha: Just like last game.
Ariel: I mean, it worked out pretty good then!
Sasha: True.
Ariel: He's moving to here and gonna Blunderbuss Special Attack you. It's got Attack of 3 and it can hit more than 1 figure too, so there! And 2 skulls, so if Wishy-Washy blows it, she's dead!
Sasha: She's one level higher than you, though, so she rolls 5 dice, and gets 2 shields. No problem.
Ariel: Blast.
Sasha: My number 3 is Onshu. He'll fly back over to here and shriek at Burny again. 2 skulls.
Ariel: How are you rolling 2 skulls so many times?! I roll ... Boooo! Only one shield. Burny's dead!
Sasha: Kind of just like last time.
Ariel: That's okay. Last time turned out fine for me. That's the end of the round, right?
Sasha: No, Onshu gets to shriek twice, remember? This time he's shrieking at Killin Veins. 
Ariel: You better not roll 2 skulls again.
Sasha: 2 skulls.
Ariel: You cheater! How are you doing that?
Sasha: I guess I'm just on a streak. How many Defense dice does Killin get?
Ariel: Ugh. Only 2. And he doesn't roll a single shield! This is going so bad!
Sasha: Well, now it's turn 2. Maybe that will work out better for you. Place your order markers.
Ariel: Done.
Sasha: Me too.
Ariel: OMG. I rolled all shields on the initiative. That's it, this way of rolling initiative sucks. Let's do the 20-sider way now.
Sasha: Sure, but not until next round. I roll 3 skulls, so I go first.
Ariel: Boo.
Sasha: My first order marker is on Ewashia.
Ariel: That's so boring!
Sasha: Maybe, but it's happening. Onshu flies over here where he can beak Killin Veins from higher up, giving him an extra die.
Ariel: I thought you said no extra dice for him.
Sasha: That's only for his Special Attack. His normal Attack value only has Range 1, but I'm close enough now, and it's 3 dice instead of the 2 I get for Sonic Blast. Plus 1 for height is 4, and --
Ariel: This is so unfair.
Sasha: Don't be such a pessimist. I only got 1 skull.
Ariel: Hah! I got 1 shield on my 2 dice. Eat it, Owl-Shoe!
Sasha: I still get a turn with Ewashia, though, so here comes a Twister Special Attack. 2 skulls this time.
Ariel: No shields! Boo! Killin Veins is almost killed!
Sasha: Well, it's your turn. What do you do?
Ariel: My number 1 is Killin Veins, obviously, and he's going to Blunderbuss Wishy-Washy.
Sasha: Sorry, but he's engaged with Onshu.
Ariel: What? I don't want him to marry your owl.
Sasha: No, engaged means he can't attack another figure at range unless he moves away.
Ariel: I'll do that then.
Sasha: But if he moves away, he gets a disengagement attack on him. I'll roll 1 die, and if it comes up a skull, he has to take the wound. No defense dice.
Ariel: But he's only got 1 left!
Sasha: Up to you whether you want to risk it.
Ariel: Err ... no, I better not. Killin's going to climb up here next to Owl-Shoe so you don't get any extra dice. 4 Attack! Blah. Just 1 skull.
Sasha: Onshu has Defense 3 ... 1 shield. He's safe.
Ariel: Fine. Now it's "My number 2 is Wishy-Swishy" again, right?
Sasha: No, I was worried I'd lose initiative and she'd get killed before her turn, so I put it on Onshu. He climbs up one more step and attacks down at Killin Veins. Only 1 skull, though.
Ariel: Come on, Killin! Two shields! Take that, you stupid owl!
Sasha: Your turn.
Ariel: You know who it is, too!
Sasha: Killin Veins.
Ariel: Yep. I roll ... 4 skulls! Holy moley!
Sasha: This may be it for Onshu. He doesn't have that much life. But I do get 4 Defense since I'm above you ... but only 1 shield, which means I take 3 wounds, and that's all he's got.
Ariel: Gotcha, you stupid owl!
Sasha: Wow. Kind of vicious for somebody who didn't even want to attack him last game because he was too cute.
Ariel: Last game he wasn't squawking at me twice every turn!
Sasha: My last order marker is on Kita. Hmm. What do I want to do? I guess I'll move her here so she's between Killin and Ewashia.
Ariel: That's not going to help you any though because I just looked at your card and she's only got 2 life. She's going down next time Killin gets to go.
Sasha: That's not this turn, though, because you only had 2 order markers on him.
Ariel: Yeah. My number 3 is this Fibby Void Siren chick. Hmm. If I move here, I'm on the same level, and I can use my Black Powder Pistol to change my Range from 1 to 5. Kapow on Kitty!
Sasha: Sorry, Kita is an Apparition. You didn't look close enough at her card. You can't attack her at all unless you're within two spaces.
Ariel: What! Well, I don't want to move there, then.
Sasha: You already did. And you removed that Black Powder token from your card to activate your power. The rules specifically say no backsies.
Ariel: No way! Let me see that!
Sasha: It's right here.
Ariel: Seriously? They even called it "You Snooze, You Lose???" I hate these guys. Now I wasted my Black Powder shot, and I've only got two left!
Sasha: That may be plenty ... especially if you win initiative this round. Place your order markers.
Ariel: There. Done.
Sasha: Now we roll the 20-sider. I roll a 12.
Ariel: I roll ... 2! No! I hate this way of rolling initiative. Let's go back to the other way.
Sasha: Next turn, if you really want to. Now ...
Ariel: "My number 1 is Swishy-Witchy."
Sasha: You guessed it. First she gets to take a turn with Kita, who will climb up here so she's above Killin for an extra Attack die. Boo, weak! She only has 2 dice to start, and I got no skulls on my 3 dice.
Ariel: Ha-ha, Killin doesn't even have to roll!
Sasha: But Ewashia still gets her turn.
Ariel: Goldang it.
Sasha: Twister Special Attack! 2 skulls on Killin.
Ariel: I only roll 1 shield. He's dead. That sucks! Both my -- I mean, my first order marker is on him, so I don't even get a turn now.
Sasha: My number 2 is Ewashia again. She's going to move Kita over behind this tree here where your chick can't see her. Then she's going to move herself behind this other tree where you can't see her either.
Ariel: You scaredy squid!
Sasha: Hey, neither of my guys has more than 2 life, and you've got 5.
Ariel: Well, the joke's on you because my second order marker is on Killin Veins, so I don't even get to go this turn. I was totally at your mercy, and you blew it!
Sasha: I guess that's what I get for playing conservatively. Okay, then, my number 3 is Kita. She's coming over here to attack you.
Ariel: Haha, I'm going to get an extra Defense die for being higher up than you!
Sasha: What can I say? You goaded me into snarling action. Chomp! One skull.
Ariel: That's nothing, even if I miss on all my dice. Uh ... which I do. Poop.
Sasha: Your turn.
Ariel: Obviously my next marker is Fifi. She'll attack Kitty with 5 dice!
Sasha: Do your worst.
Ariel: What! No skulls! That really was my worst.
Sasha: Called it. Here we go with order markers, then.
Ariel: Try and guess who I'm putting mine on.
Sasha: I'm done. How are we rolling initiative?
Ariel: It doesn't matter. I'm going to lose anyway. Here, I'll roll the 6 Attack dice and you roll the 20-sider.
Sasha: Are you really that cocky about winning the game even if I get initiative this turn?
Ariel: No, just nothing has worked out for me on initiative so far, so we need to do something different, and I figured no way you'd agree to rolling the 6 dice and me rolling the 20-sider.
Sasha: Fine. I roll a 6.
Ariel: Haha! Tricked you! I got 2 skulls and you didn't get any!
Sasha: I assumed the number on the 20-sider was the number of skulls it would count for.
Ariel: That's what I was counting on. And the no-backsies rule means you can't get a do-over!
Sasha: That rule didn't actually say it applied to initiative, though.
Ariel: I'm applying it.
Sasha: Fine. Take your turn.
Ariel: My number 1 is Fifi. See?
Sasha: I know. She's the only one you've got left, and I can see you put all your order markers on her.
Ariel: Just making sure. She's going to move ... right over here where she can see Wishy-Washy to shoot.
Sasha: But if you break away from Kita, she gets a leaving engagement attack on you.
Ariel: I don't care.
Sasha: Ballsy. But you luck out and I don't get a skull.
Ariel: Now I use my Black Powder Pistol! Kapow! And I'm higher up than you so I get an extra die because the Black Powder Pistol adds to my range instead of being a Special Attack, which means I'm using my normal Attack value plus 1 ... 3 skulls!
Sasha: This looks bad for me ... 2 shields, though. Ewashia is alive. Barely.
Ariel: Do your worst! (See? I noticed how that worked for you so I'm using it too.)
Sasha: Ewashia takes a turn with Kita first. She moves here to get above Fifi, so here come 3 Attack dice. All skulls!
Ariel: How do you keep doing that?
Sasha: Talent, baby. Roll your Defense.
Ariel: Only 1 shield. Well, I still have 2 life.
Sasha: We'll see if that's enough. Now Ewashia takes her main turn. Twister Special Attack! 2 skulls.
Ariel: Jeepers ... okay, well, I'm higher up than you, so that's 4 dice I get to roll ... 1 shield, whew!
Sasha: Hanging on by a thread.
Ariel: Yeah. So I'm gonna go here --
Sasha: Another leaving engagement attack.
Ariel: That's okay. If I don't kill off your wizard I'm toast next turn anyhow. Roll it.
Sasha: Skull.
Ariel: Boo! You cheater!
Sasha: How did I cheat?
Ariel: By rolling more skulls than you ought to. I'm going to have MSG figure out his math on how likely that was.
Sasha: Does it matter how likely it was? My dice rocked! Sometimes that just happens.
Ariel: Fine. Anyway, I'm dead so you win.
Sasha: Yasss!
Ariel: We're still only tied in number of games though, so it's not like you're ahead or anything.
Sasha: But I won a Master Game game and you only won a Basic Game game.
Ariel: I don't care. They're totally equal.
Sasha: Mmm ... I guess that's true. I had fun both times.
Ariel: See? Now we've got to play a tie breaker.
Sasha: Sure. You're on.
Ariel and Sasha: See you next time, readers!