Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Four-Way Heroscape!

Ariel: Okay, wow, so this is going to be so new and different!
Sasha: Yeah? How so?
Ariel: Well, I mean, duh, this time we have guests!
Sasha: We had guests before, way back when we did that book club post.
Ariel: What? What book club post?
Sasha: The one where --
Ariel: Oh, wait, maybe I remember. It was the book about that Russian composter, Peter Cottontchailovsky, fighting that wolf that was eating all the planets. Holy moley, that was years ago! How did you expect me to remember that?
Sasha: I didn't. That's why I reminded you.
Ariel: Okay, but when you did that you also reminded our readers, who probably would of forgotten just as much as I did, so they would have been excited by that part being new just like I was. Anyway, those were book club guests and this time they're Heroscaping guests. We definitely haven't had Heroscaping guests before.
Sasha: That's true.
Ariel: And we're playing with new Heroscape stuff because a brand-new package of it came today.
Sasha: Sure, but we've played with new Heroscape stuff before.
Ariel: But we haven't played with newer than that Heroscape stuff.
Sasha: Sure we did. We've played with new Heroscape stuff after a couple of different packages came in, I'm pretty sure.
Ariel: Well ... but this is the newest Heroscape stuff, and we haven't played newest Heroscape before.
Sasha: I mean, technically every time we've played Heroscape it's been with the newest Heroscape that was out at the time.
Ariel: OMG, you are making us sound so boring and un-new!
Sasha: Sorry.
Ariel: Anyhow, even if we've had guests before and we've played newest Heroscape before, we haven't ever played newest Heroscape with guests before, and we haven't ever played four-way Heroscape before, so this is still going to be super new and different.
Sasha: Sure. So very different. Because, you know, we never start our posts off arguing about pointless stuff before we get to the part where we actually talk about the thing we're talking about.
Ariel: That part's always your fault!
Sasha: Er ... you're going to have to prove that by going back and showing me it's always me doing the arguing.
Ariel: Ugh! That would be so much work!
Sasha: I guess we'll never know, then.
Ariel: Grr. OH! But plus, here's another new and different thing about it -- one of our guests has never been a guest here before, and also she's a new yam who's only barely been in the house a couple weeks or less, so we've never even talked about her here before, much less talked with her here. Hah!
Sasha: Okay, so that's a pretty major new thing, I'll give you that.
Ariel: Boom! I win!
Sasha: Why don't we just introduce our guests?
Ariel: Sure. I'll go first and introduce the super-duper new and differentest of our guests, Heddy. Heddy used to be Hettie's girlfriend a long time ago, and now she is again! And also now she's here instead of way over in California or wherever. And also, her being here means she's pretty much our girlfriend too now, so say hello, Heddy!
Heddy: Um ... hi?
Sasha: Sorry if Aers is embarrassing you with too many personal details, Heddy.
Heddy: No, she's fine. I'm just ... still kind of working out what I'm supposed to be saying. As a guest on you guys' blog, I mean.
Ariel: Sheesh, Sash, why are you going and making it out like she's all embarrassed? And what do you mean, too many personal details? It's not like I went and said you two already did it or anything.
Sasha: ...
Heddy: ...
Ariel: I mean, I guess I did just then. Uhh ... anyway, here's our other guest for today, MSG! Say something, MSG!
MSG: We can have them edit out anything embarrassing later, Heddy. Just let them know.
Heddy: I'll definitely consider that. But I think as long as this doesn't degenerate into a bunch of who's-done-what-to-whom, I'm probably okay. I'm not really all that easily embarrassed. More self-conscious in new situations like this.
Ariel: Aha! See, Sash? She agrees with me about how new this post is!
Sasha: Maybe we should get on with playing. MSG, I see you already built a map for us to play on.
MSG: Yep. And I looked at the new figures and divided them up into four more-or-less even armies worth about 230 points each.
Ariel: Oh, good! Those are some of the funnest parts, but some of the most work too. And I kind of feel like we've already been working at this post a lot.
Sasha: You're not the only one.
Heddy: Okay, so, I'm seeing all these little figurines and stuff, and I'm trying not to be intimidated, but this is definitely even more outside my normal box than the D&D game we played.
Ariel: Don't worry, it's way easier than it looks. Sash and I basically taught ourselves.
Sasha: Let's not get into why we taught ourselves.
Heddy: Oh? Is there a story there? I'm noticing MSG is looking at both of you and neither of you is looking at him ...
Ariel: Uh, we kind of opened his game and played with it before he had a chance to.
Sasha: Ariel opened it. I only played with it.
Ariel: I said "kind of," didn't I? Anyway, that's all water under the fridge now.
Sasha: Under the bridge. Water under the bridge means it's in the past. Water under the fridge would be a mess.
Ariel: Yeah, but it's a mess you wouldn't see unless you went poking around under there, or unless somebody pointed it out to you. Like, when they didn't even need to.
Sasha: Anyway. Like Aers said, she and I basically taught ourselves, by which she meant I read all the rules and basically taught her.
Ariel: You didn't read all the rules! Some of the rules are on the cards for each army. So I had to read those just as much as you did.
Sasha: Okay, but I had to read all the rules in the rulebook.
Ariel: And I didn't, and it was still pretty easy for me to learn, and Heddy seems to be gobs smarter than me, so it ought to be a snap for you, Heddy.
Heddy: I'm not going to go making any claims about how smart I am.
Sasha: You do seem pretty smart, though.
Heddy: Thanks!
Ariel: So the main things you want to remember are, if your guys are up higher than the other person's guys, you get more dice to attack with or to defend with, if you're attacking or defending. And you always want to make sure you look at your cards and maybe the other person's cards before you make your decisions about attacking, because there's this SUPER MEAN rule about no backsies, and if you say, I'm attacking that dude with my whatchamacallit power and it turns out that dude's card says no whatchamacallitting him, you're screwed and you just wasted all the time you spent setting things up to whatchamacallit the dude.
Sasha: Another thing to remember is, if your figure won't fit in a space because it's got legs or wings or something sticking out, then you can't go there.
Ariel: Haha, that totally screwed your super-centipede dude up that one game.
Sasha: Let's not get into that.
Ariel: Yeah, he had all those tiny little legs sticking out from his sides and there were so many of them that even though they were teeny-tiny, he still wouldn't fit in that space. And I was like, "Sucks to be him!" And then I totally whacked him from above with my Killaballoon guy.
Sasha: You know, Heddy can read all about that later, if she really wants to.
Heddy: It does sound kind of amusing, so let's not go through the whole story now.
Ariel: Oh, right! Spoilers! Sorry.
Sasha: MSG, why don't you tell us about these armies you built.
MSG: Sure thing. First, there's this army with a bunch of fish guys, a miniature kraken, and these giants with giant bows.

Ariel: Haha, I like the one guy in the back who's just drinking away.
MSG: Well, they're fish warriors, so I think that's probably a conch-shell horn that he's blowing as a battle alert.
Ariel: Does it say that on the card?
MSG: No.
Ariel: I think I like my way better then.
MSG: That's cool I guess. So the fish warriors can give themselves and the krakenling some extra movement at the very beginning of each round, and they defend better when they're in water or being attacked from above. The krakenling gets lots of attacks when it's not wounded and can swap places with someone next to it. And the giants have really good range -- 7 spaces. They also get an extra attack die if they're shooting someone 4 or more spaces away, and another extra attack die shooting someone 7 spaces away.
Ariel: That looks like a pretty badass army.
Sasha: Right? Maybe I want to play that one. Who's next?
MSG: This great big flying lady and her dragon crew. The three dragons in front are kind of wussy. Their special powers only work if you team them up with certain figures, and this new set of Heroscape doesn't have any of those figures. So they're just some mediocre flying guys in this scenario. But the wizard lady can attack twice a turn, once at long range and once close up, and before her turn she can take a turn with this feathery flying beast in front of her, who can either attack or use a special ability to heal her if she's wounded.

Sasha: So basically if someone takes her out, you're screwed.
MSG: Basically. Now, these three guys don't look like much, but they're worth more points than the other three armies. Both the guy with the staff and the green guy get to take an extra turn with the red vines beast before their own turn. The guy with the staff also has a special power that lets him take a turn with another unique hero who's within 2 spaces of him after his turn. Has to roll a 13 or higher on the 20 sided die if the hero is controlled by the same player, or a 16 or higher to take over another player's hero. His attack value is lame, but he always gets two extra skulls when he attacks. Both the green vine guy and the red vine guy have a chance to make an opponent's figure stop moving if it becomes adjacent to them, so they're tricky to move past.

Ariel: That sounds awfully complicated.
Sasha: Yeah, but there are only three of them to keep track of.
Heddy: So wait ... does that mean the guy with the staff can take a turn with the red vine guy, and then take his own turn, and then possibly take a turn with the green vine guy, who can also take a turn with the red vine guy before his turn? So you could get four turns instead of just one?
MSG: That's exactly what it means.
Ariel: Dang! I told you you were smart, Heddy!
Heddy: Well, I didn't say I wasn't, I just said I didn't want to go bragging about it.
MSG: So the last army is this pirate ninja lady and her pirate squad. She gives the squad extra defense if she's close to them, and they let you take a turn with her every time you take a turn with them. She also gives them an extra attack die if there's an order marker on her card, and if you put the X order marker on her card, you can reveal it at the start of her turn to move two of the squad guys up to 3 spaces each. The squad guys have decent attack and defense, and they also get to roll an extra attack die for each wound they inflict when they hit someone.

Ariel: Yikes! They sound evil!
Heddy: Aren't most pirates evil?
Ariel: Yeah, but that sounds even extra eviller.
MSG: So who wants to play which army, and are we doing a free-for all, or playing teams?
Heddy: I wouldn't mind having a teammate to give me advice for this first game I've ever played.
Ariel: Ooh! I'll be Heddy's teammate!
Sasha: Maybe we ought to let Heddy pick?
Heddy: No, that's fine. It does sound like she crushed your centipede guy pretty well in that one game.
Ariel: Yes!
Sasha: Okay, me and MSG against Heddy and Aers. Who gets which army?
MSG: I propose letting Heddy pick first since she's the only one who's never played. Then the rest of us can roll off to see who picks next.
Ariel: Okey-doke by me!
Sasha: Sure. Heddy?
Heddy: I'll definitely take the guys who are worth more points and can take up to four turns in a single turn. That sounds too good to pass up.
MSG: I roll a 9.
Ariel: Boo. 8 for me.
Sasha: 18! I'll take the pirate chick and her gang, since Aers probably wants to play the drinking fish guy.
Ariel: Wait, just because I think it's funny that he's drinking doesn't mean I want to play a drunk fish dude!
Sasha: Well, I'm still going for the pirates.
MSG: What do you think, Aers? Want me to take the fish guys and giants, or should I leave them for you and play the little dragons and the flying wizard lady?
Ariel: Uh ... let me see their cards again? Okay, the fish guys for sure. That wizard is all sneezy.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: Look at her name! "Hatchoo-a-lot."
MSG: That's Haluchott.
Ariel: Oh. Well, you still made it sound like she and her guys were pretty lame, so I'm down for the fish team.
MSG: If that's settled, let's roll to see who places their armies first. Heddy, whoever gets highest on the 20-sided die places one army card's worth of figures in one of the four grey starting zones in the corners of the map. Then the other players place two cards' worth of figures at a time, and we keep going in order until all figures are placed.
Heddy: Uhm ... got it, I think. I roll 13.
MSG: 9 for me.
Ariel: Boo! 6.
Sasha: 18 again, baby! I'll take this spot here. Pirate queen for the win!
Heddy: I don't know that I see much difference between the different starting places. Am I missing something?
MSG: Well, I don't know Sash's plan, but none of her figures have range, and she put her pirate captain down pretty close to those trees and bushes, so she may be trying to set up cover against ranged attacks. Also, if you're next to a tree or bush, you get a defense bonus against anyone shooting at you from a distance -- and your green vine wizard can heal at the end of a round if he's next to a tree or bush.
Heddy: Great. Definitely picking this spot closer to trees, then.
MSG: Not much difference between the two zones left, so I'll set up here.
Ariel: And I guess that leaves this place for me.
Sasha: I'll stick the rest of my pirates in front of this Crimson Widow chick, then.
Ariel: Oh, I thought that card said "Window." Widow is a lot cooler.
Sasha: Why would a pirate ninja be a window?
Ariel: I don't know! But it would be pretty un-cool sounding, is all I'm saying.
Heddy: My wizard with the staff will go here. "Maruchott, Vine Whisperer." Interesting.
Ariel: What do you think he whispers?
Heddy: Rumors? Innuendo? I'm guessing whatever he hears through the grapevine.
MSG: Nice. I'll put my sneezy wizard down here.
Ariel: That leaves my Crackling dude to go here.
Sasha: "Krakenling."
Ariel: Watch out or he's going to be Krakenling your window.
Heddy: Okay, so we're all set up ... what now?

MSG: Order markers! You get 4 of them: 1, 2, 3, and X.
Sasha: X is only for my pirates, to mark the spot. I'm joking, but man, that would be a cool power if you could take the X off your card and put it on a spot on the board and suddenly there's treasure there.
MSG: The order markers are used to determine which figures you move with during a round. There are 3 turns per person in a round, represented by the 1, 2, and 3. The X is used as a bluff, or in some cases to activate special powers.
Sasha: Wait, that's right! My pirate chick does have a special X power.
Heddy: So I put one marker on each card? And then the X ... where exactly? I'm not seeing the bluffing part.
MSG: You don't have to put one marker on each card. You can put them all on one card, or two on one card and two on another -- any combination you like. So you could put your 1 and 2 on your Heard-It-Through-the-Grapevine wizard, your 3 on the other wizard, and your X on the red vine beast. Until you reveal each one, we won't know which ones you're planning to move or when.
Heddy: Ah, that makes more sense.
Ariel: After order markers, we roll the 20-sider for initiative and then go in order of our rolls. The winner plays their number 1 marker, then the next person plays their number 1 marker, until all the 1's are done and we go on to the 2's.
MSG: Each order marker is a turn, and going through a complete set of all order markers finishes a round.
Heddy: All right. I'm putting mine like this. What do you think, Ariel?
Ariel: Um ... sure? Remember, I didn't take those guys because they sounded too complicated. Sorry if that's not much help.
Heddy: No problem. If I lose, I lose. It's just my first game.
MSG: I've got mine set up.
Sasha: Me too. Aers?
Ariel: Give me a second! I had to help Heddy, even if I wasn't much help! Okay, done.
Sasha: Time for initiative, then.
Ariel: Actually, I think first I use this special power of my fish guys. I put 3 order markers on them, so all of them and my Window Cracker get to move 3 spaces. Okay, done.
Sasha: 6 for me on initiative.
Heddy: 11. 
MSG: 13.
Ariel: Woohoo! 15! I go first! It's the fish guys. Dang, their stupid flying fish wings sure get in the way ... why do they even have flying fish wings if they can't fly? All right, here's where they end up, then.
Heddy: Hang on. When you moved them those 3 spaces before initiative, it looked like some of them only moved one space. Did I miss something?
Ariel: Oh! No, see, if you can't fly, you have to count the sides of each level that you go up. So each level you go up counts as a move even if you don't go into the actual space until you've finished climbing.
Heddy: Ah. But when your fish fellows moved down on the other side of that hill, you didn't count extra for the sides?
Ariel: Right, because you can just jump down. It doesn't cost you anything.
Heddy: Got it.
MSG: My number 1 is my little dragon trio. They'll fly to here. Since they have Flying, they don't have to count the elevation steps to go up and over the hill. That's all they can do this turn.
Heddy: It's me next then, right? Okay. I put my first marker on Marachott. So first he gets to take a turn with "Vrono the Brambletooth," who can move 5? One, two, three, four. Did I do that right? One to go up this level, then three to get next to the bush?
MSG: Yep.
Heddy: I don't think I want to move him any closer to your dragons, so he'll stay there in cover. Then it's Marachott's turn ... one, two, three, four. I'm keeping him within 2 spaces of "Girushia, Grove Keeper" to try to give him a turn too, which I need to roll a 13 or better for ... 19. Got it. So one, two, three, four puts Girushia here by the bushes too. And I don't have any range, so I'm done.
Sasha: Time for some piracy! My number one is on my squad -- the Dreadnoughts of Caraway Cavern!
Ariel: Yeesh! You're not going to say that whole name every time, are you?
Sasha: No -- especially since it abbreviates to DCC, just like Dungeon Crawl Classics!
Ariel: Oh, man, I love that game.
Sasha: We'll have to play that one with you sometime, Heddy.
Heddy: So many games!
MSG: Let's try not to overwhelm her, okay, you two?
Sasha: Sure. Alright, they give the Crimson Window -- grr, Widow -- a turn first, so she's moving over here behind these bushes, and then they're moving up with her. Your turn for order marker number 2, Aers!
Ariel: It's my Greatbow Archers! They're gonna move to here and shoot some giant arrows at your little green pirate over by those bushes, Sash. They're at range 7, which is plus 2 attack dice because they're "Longshot Specialists." 5 dice coming at you!
Sasha: Eek. I get to add 1 for the bushes, but I still only get 4 defense dice.
Ariel: Twang!!! Oh poop. Only 1 skull.
Sasha: Whew! I only roll 1 shield but that's enough. 
Ariel: Second archer ... twang!!! Two skulls!
Sasha: Booooooo. No shields. So he takes two wounds and he's dead.
Ariel: Yes!
MSG: Okay, number two for me is also my little dragon guys. These two are going to fly over and attack Ariel's fish guys, and this one will go attack your red vines beast, Heddy. The first two get an extra attack die for elevation ...
Ariel: But I get TWO extra defense dice for being attacked from up high!
MSG: It's still the best I could do. So the first one rolls 3 dice and gets 2 skulls.
Ariel: Dang, I better roll really good with my 4 dice ... boo! only 1 shield. He's dead.
MSG: Next 3-die attack -- yech. No skulls.
Ariel: Whew!
MSG: And finally, 2 dice against -- what's his name again? Vroomo?
Heddy: Vrono.
MSG: Sorry. Anyway, 1 skull.
Heddy: So I just roll 4 of these and look for shields? Oh, good, 3 shields. Can I save some of those for later since I only needed 1?
MSG: Afraid not.
Heddy: So I'm next, and my number 2 is Marachott again. First he gives Vrono a turn -- oops, I forgot to read my card on your turn. I should have used these Sharp Vines when you moved in next to me. I might have shaved off one of your dice. Not that I ended up needing to. All right, I've got 2 dice to attack your mean little dragon, so ... 1 skull.
MSG: He's got 2 defense ... 1 shield, safe.
Heddy: Marachott's main turn now. I'll smack your dragon with my Staff of Curupiran. Hmm ... I get to roll 1 attack die, but I automatically get 2 skulls, so aren't you already dead? No, wait, you might roll 2 shields, even if that's not super likely. Here I go, then. Nope, my die is a shield.
MSG: I defend with ... only 1 shield, so your auto skulls kill me.
Heddy: I'm liking these figures. Time to see if I can give Girushia an extra turn again ... yep, 16! Can I move through my own character?
MSG: Yes, as long as they're not engaged with another figure -- which mostly just means adjacent.
Heddy: Sweet. I can move him over here, then, and -- oh, wait, he was supposed to give Vrona a turn too. But that no backsies rule means I can't, right?
MSG: It's supposed to.
Ariel: We can give her a break though, can't we? Since it's her first time playing?
Sasha: You can't, because she's on your team. I don't know if I want to be a hard ass about it, though. What do you think, MSG.
MSG: I'm okay with doing it this once.
Heddy: You guys are the best. I'm moving Vrono around to here, then, still by the bushes but on the other side. And then Girushia goes here. He's got this Reach thing that lets him attack at range 2 as long as the target isn't too high up or too far down, which means I can go for your white baby dragon, right? 
MSG: Yes, but I have elevation, so I'll get an extra defense die.
Heddy: Let's dance, then. My attack is 4 -- ouch. but I roll no skulls.
MSG: Bad break.
Sasha: Piracy time! My number 2 is the DCC again. First, Crimson Widow goes. She'll reveal this X marker to move her last 2 scurvy knaves 3 spaces each. Then she moves 5 spaces toward you, MSG! I'm coming for your sneezy wizard -- let's make that "sneezard" for short. Now it's my actual turn with the DCC, and they're out for blood! They move here ... and here. This guy can smackeroo your familiar from up high now. 4 attack dice! 2 skulls!
MSG: I have 3 dice to defend ... 1 shield, so I take 1 wound.
Sasha: Hang on, though! I get to roll another die for each wound I gave you, and it says ... rats. Shield. Just the one wound. Here's a wound marker.
Heddy: What's that for?
MSG: Figures with more than 1 life -- that's the number in the little blood-spatter icon there -- don't just go away when they're hit. You put wound markers on them until they run out of life. I've got 2 left now.
Sasha: Not for long. This DCC is attacking you too! What the -- 3 shields on 3 dice! Lame!
MSG: Wait. Sash, you're on my team.
Sasha: What? Oh, shit. I just saw some sweet, sweet pirate victims where I could reach them. Does the no backsies rule apply to that kind of boner move?
Heddy: That seems like it would be a little too harsh.
MSG: Technically, the You-Snooze-You-Lose rule says to check for Glyphs, Special Powers, and Height Advantage before attacking, not for whether you're making a completely crazy attack on your own team. So I agree that applying it now is a bit much.
Ariel: I'm going to agree too, but probably only because I'd be outvoted anyway.
Sasha: "Probably," huh? Well since everybody's giving me the backsies, I end up moving my DCC's here with the 3-space moves, then Crimson Widow here, and then the DCC's here with their real move of 6. So this dude gets to attack Gooshy-gooshy the vine guy. Let's see ... I've got elevation again, so 4 dice  ...
Heddy: You already rolled 4 dice. Should we just use those results?
MSG: Your call, since you're the target, I think.
Heddy: I'd just as soon not risk having Sash roll 4 skulls, so I'll take the 2 she rolled before. My defense is 3, so ... oh crap, I forgot my Wicked Thorns again.
MSG: Well, you haven't rolled defense yet, so I think we can let you have the backsies on this too. Especially since you're not the one attacking.
Ariel: She's getting so many backsies! Oh, wait, she's on my team, so that's a good thing. Never mind.
Heddy: You know what? I'm still going to pass on that, because she could end up rolling 3 skulls on the re-roll. Here's my defense roll of 3 against the 2 skulls ... 2 shields.
Ariel: Yes! Safe!
Sasha: It seems like we both need to pay more attention to what team we're on, Aers.
Ariel: The whole "team" thing is just confusing the heck out of me, to be honest.
Sasha: Well, you wanted new and different.
Ariel: Yeah, I guess I did. Anyway, now it's my number 3 order marker, which is the fish dudes again. I'm gonna swarm these last 2 dragons! 3 attack dice on this red one! Woot! 3 skulls!

MSG: Only 1 shield on my defense. Dead.
Ariel: Yes! Next fish guy! 2 skulls!
MSG: No shields. Dead.
Ariel: Fish guys rule! This last guy doesn't get to attack though. Oh, he's the drinking one. I guess he was too busy getting sloshed to fight.
Heddy: Looks like the fish men really schooled you, MSG.
MSG: Ouch. Did you have to add to my pain? Well, I'm next, so let's see if Haluchott can get some payback. First, my familiar flies over here to attack Sash's --
Sasha: Not you too! MSG, we're on the same damn team!
MSG: I guess I was still smarting from your false move last turn. Okay, rewind that. The familiar flies to here, and my wizard flies to here, which puts me in range to zap either Heddy's vine guy or Ariel's fish guy with my Staff of the Long Hand. Looks like I'm up against 4 defense dice for a fish dude or 5 for the red vines beast, so I'll take a shot at the fish guy.
Heddy: You could also hit Girushia, right? He's only got 3 dice plus 1 for the bushes.
MSG: Yes, but we're almost to the end of the round, and he's the one who heals if he's next to a bush or tree when the round's done, right?
Heddy: True. I was hoping you wouldn't remember that.
MSG: 2 attack dice coming at that fish guy there ... 2 skulls!
Ariel: Yipe! Uh, 4 defense dice gets me -- only 1 shield. Noooo, my fish guy!
MSG: Heddy, your turn.
Heddy: I put order marker 3 on Girushia, so first I'm taking a turn with Vrono. He's only got 2 attack dice, though, so I don't see much point moving him up to attack Sasha's DCC pirate on that hill. But I guess doing something with him is better than doing nothing. 2 attack dice ... ooh, 2 skulls!
Ariel: Yes! Whip those vines!
Sasha: 4 defense dice ... glah! All skulls!
Heddy: Wow. I didn't think that would work. Okay, Girushia's turn, and he can attack the last pirate with his Reach ... 4 dice ... and, 4 shields.
MSG: Everybody's really going all-or-nothing in this fight.
Sasha: Thanks be to the pirate gods on that last one. If she'd taken out that guy I wouldn't have been able to use my last order marker. It's on the DCC's again, so first I move the Crimson Widow, which puts her in place to attack Vroomo with 5 attack dice for being up high.
Heddy: Urk.
Sasha: 2 skulls, Vroomo.
Heddy: Hang on. First I was supposed to get my Sharp Thorns power, since it's not an attack and the You-Snooze-You-Lose rule doesn't apply, right? I only roll a 9, though, so it doesn't work. Ah well. I do get 4 defense dice ... and again, no success on even a single one of them. Vroomo -- Vrono's almost dead.
Sasha: Time for my last DCC. He tromps over here to attack Gooshy-Gooshy from up high, plus he gets a bonus attack die for being next to the Widow. That's 5 dice total.
Heddy: This could be painful ...
Sasha: 3 skulls.
Heddy: Yeah, I'm not liking the looks of this. Wait! Wicked Thorns! I swear, at some point I'll remember that at the right time. Not that it matters. I roll a 2. Okay, I only have 3 defense dice, so this is probably going to hurt ... oh, 2 shields. Only 1 wound.
Sasha: But I get to roll another die for that wound! Skull!
Heddy: Okay, 2 wounds then. But it's the end of the round, right? So my Gift of the Forest lets me heal one of them anyway.
Ariel: Turn one, all done!
Sasha: New order markers!
Heddy: You'd think now I've done this before, it would be less tricky instead of more. Okay, done.
MSG: Mine didn't take much brainpower.
Sasha: Yeah, mine either. Seems like we've still got one slowpoke, though.
Ariel: Hey! Don't rush me! Look ... there, I'm done.
Sasha: Time to roll it, then!
Ariel: Nooo, don't you remember? I still have my special power for after the markers are put down. I have 2 of them on my fish dudes, so all my oceany guys get to move two. That's here, and here ... and ... here. Okay, now we can roll. 
Sasha: 11 for me.
Heddy: I see your 11 and raise you 12.
MSG: I'm on 9.
Ariel: Boo! I'm on 3.
Sasha: You're up then, Heddy.
Heddy: Predictably, I have Malachott first. So Vrono's going to take a crack at the Crimson Widow, since she's the only figure he can get at. 2 skulls!
Sasha: I get 4 defense dice from being queen of the mountain ... 2 shields.
Heddy: Okay, now Malachott's turn. He'll go boop, boop, boop to here and ... no guts, no glory, right? I'm going to take a shot at using my Malachott's Whisper to brainwash Crimson Widow. Come on, 16 or better ... nope. 9. That's it for me, then.
Sasha: Whew! That could have sucked! All right, first up, my last DCC dude, who gives CW a turn. She's chopping Gooshy Vines with 5 dice! 3 skulls!
Heddy: Oof. No shields on my 3 defense dice.
Sasha: Yes! Hammertime with my last DCC dude, then! He gets 5 dice too! Only 2 skulls for him, though.
Heddy: This could be ugly ... whew, 1 shield, still alive.
MSG: I'm next. Haluchott is my number 1, so I'll take a turn with Chana first. I'll move him here, and then Haluchott between him and Marachott right here. Now I get a normal attack of 3 dice and a Staff of the Long Hand one for 2 dice. 1 skull on the normal attack ... ooh, 2 skulls on the special. You get to roll defense against them separately, though.
Heddy: 1 shield, and another 1 shield, so that's a wound. My guys are starting to get kind of torn up.
Ariel: Me to the rescue! My number 1 is ... fishies! First mister drunky drunk attacks your DCC with 3 dice, Sash. 2 skulls!
Sasha: 4 defense for me ... crap! No shields. He's sleeping with the fishes now, I guess.
Ariel: Wait, what? I expected him to live! Now my other fish guy isn't where he can attack anybody else.
Sasha: Should have told the drunk guy to wait. Then he could've attacked Gooshy goosh.
Heddy: No, Sash. Aers and I are on the same team.
Sasha: Ugh! No more of this team stuff, please! Next time we play it's everybody against everybody.
Heddy: Back around to my turn, now, which is Marachott again. Vrono takes another vine swipe at the Crimson Widow ... useless. Then Marachott smacks Haluchott with her staff. 1 skull plus 2 for the special power equals 3 total.
MSG: Ouch. But Vrono's a Beast, and I get 2 extra dice defending against Beasts, so that's 6 total. 2 shields, only 1 wound.
Heddy: This time I'm whispering Girushia for better odds ... and of course it's an 18, so I could've taken over one of your guys if I'd had the guts. Girushia gives Vrono another turn, so I'll whip Crimson Widow again ... 1 skull.
Sasha: 1 shield.
Heddy: Girushia vine-whips the Widow too. Wow. Again just 1 skull.
Sasha: Another shield, hah! My turn! The Crimson Widow has lost all her backup, and she's pissed about it. Here's 5 dice back at you, Gooshy! 4 skulls!
Heddy: I don't think I'm living through this -- oh, definitely not because I've only got 3 defense. Goodbye, Girushia. And then there were two.
MSG: Unsurprisingly, my number 2 is Haluchott again. I'll move Chana up out of the water and see if she can heal that wound I got last time. Whiff. Just missed with an 11. So Haluchott's up for her own turn, with another 3-dice/2-dice combo on Marachott. Here we go. 2 skulls and ... no skulls.
Heddy: One shield, so that's a wound.
Ariel: My turn! Time for some giant arrowing! Let's see ... who can I shoot at range of 7? If I shoot Crummy Windows, she gets an extra die for up high. But if I move a little closer I can shoot Hatchoo-a-lot just fine. 5 dice coming at you, Hatchoo! Dang, only 2 skulls for the first one.
MSG: 2 shields.
Ariel: 3 skulls for the next one!
MSG: Ouch, only 1 shield.
Ariel: Yes! Two wounds! Your turn, Heddy!
Heddy: Sort of. I thought I was playing it safe spreading my order markers out. My number 3 is on Girushia, so I'm just out of luck, right?
MSG: Unfortunately, yes.
Sasha: Sweet! Crimson Widow is going to jump down here and move to attack Marachott!
Ariel: That means you move away from my fish guy and get a leaving engagement attack!
Sasha: I'm not worried. That's the drunk one.
Ariel: Oh yeah? Well -- rats. You're right. Mister drunky fish misses.
Sasha: 4 dice against Marachott! Aaugh! Where are all these shields coming from? Your turn, MSG.
MSG: Definitely trying to have Chana heal Haluchott again. Nope. Okay, same 3-dice/2-dice combo on Marachott. Pff. No skulls, no skulls.
Ariel: Yeah! Haha, I guess Marachott's nothing to sneeze at, huh, Ms. Sneezard?
MSG: Just take your turn.
Ariel: Arrows! 2 skulls, then 3 skulls!
MSG: Uh-oh. No shields, then 1 shield. Dead.
Sasha: Things are looking pretty bad here. But the Crimson Widow never gives up! Order markers!
Heddy: I'm ready.
MSG: Me too.
Ariel: Me three!
Sasha: Okay, time for your fishies to move then, Aers.
Ariel: Woohoo! You remembered! I've got 2 markers on them, so my fish guys go here and here, and my Crackling goes here. Initiative time!
Sasha: 12.
Heddy: 5.
MSG: 8.
Ariel: 9!
Sasha: I guess the Widow is up first. 4 dice on Marachott! 2 skulls!
Heddy: 1 shield. That's half my life gone now.
Ariel: My turn! This guy goes over here to kill your familiar, and drunky drinker stays where he is to kill Crummy Windows! Take that, familiar! 3 skulls!
MSG: Eep! 1 shield. I'm hanging on by a thread.
Ariel: 2 skulls, Windows!
Sasha: 1 shield. Just a scratch!
MSG: I guess I'm attacking this fish guy. 1 skull with my beak.
Ariel: Uh-oh. No shields. I guess I should of stayed in the water. Now I only have the one drunk fish guy left.
Heddy: And your giant archers, and the Krakenling.
Ariel: Yeah, but I mean, out of my fish guys I've only got the drunk one left. Your turn, partner!
Heddy: Marachott again. Vrono attacks the Widow ... 1 skull.
Sasha: 1 shield.
Heddy: Now Marachott ... 2 skulls.
Sasha: 1 shield.
Heddy: And finally, let's see if I can take the Widow over for a turn. 16! Got her! Since I control her now, she can move through my figures, right? So I'll send her over here in the water where it's easier for the archers to take her out.
Sasha: Ugh!
Heddy: Back to you, Sasha.
Sasha: I think I better get up out of this water even if it means Vroomo gets a leaving engagement attack at me.
Heddy: Shield.
Sasha: Whew! Now I'll circle over here and attack Marachott. 2 skulls!
Heddy: 1 shield. I'm feeling pretty puny right about now.
Ariel:  Don't worry, I've got this in the bag! I move one here, and one here, and even though they're not at 7 anymore, I still get 5 dice because they're both higher than Windows. Twang!!! Ugh, 1 skull.
Sasha: 1 shield.
Ariel: Twang!!! 2 skulls!
Sasha: 1 shield again. Ow.
MSG: My turn. I'll fly down in here by the bushes and attack Marachott. 1 skull.
Heddy: No shields! Only 1 life left! But it's my turn, so I'll give Vrono a turn and he'll whip your familiar. 2 skulls!
MSG: 1 shield. Dead.
Sasha: It's all up to me then, huh? Here's my number 3 coming at you, Marachott! 2 skulls!
Heddy: No shields. I'm dead.
Ariel: Don't worry! My giants will get revenge! Twang!!! 3 skulls!
Sasha: Oh, dang, I just realized I haven't been taking my bush bonus. I get 4 defense dice instead of just 3! So ... yeah. 1 shield. That takes me out.
Ariel: Victory!!! Woohoo! Heddy, why aren't you dancing?!?
Heddy: I feel like your giant archers did a whole lot more than my team of viney wizards. I mean, look at all those figures you have left, and I just have Vrono with one life point out of three.
Sasha: Hey, alive is alive, which is better than my or MSG's guys.
Ariel: Plus, you totally soaked up so much damage. My archers would have been in trouble if they'd been getting hit the whole time. And you put Crummy Windows out there in the open where I could arrow the heck out of her.
Heddy: All right, I'm feeling better.
Ariel: Super! Let's get a picture of the winners!

Heddy: So that was fun. Maybe the D&D is more my speed, though.
Ariel: This game gets better the more you play it. I think.
Sasha: Me too!
Heddy: I'm not opposed to giving it another try at some point. Maybe a game with just two players so nobody tries stabbing their partner in the back.
Ariel: Two players is awesome! Sometimes. Other times, Sash wins.
Sasha: By that logic, you should be really into this four-way style. Everybody else got wiped almost or totally wiped out, and you ended up with like two complete cards worth of figures not even scratched.
Ariel: Plus my drinky drunk guy! Yeah, it was pretty cool this way too. I'm just hyping the two-player version so Heddy wants to try it someday.
Heddy: No worries there. I'm definitely interested.
Ariel: Okay, well, we'll sign off the blog post now, then!
Sasha and Ariel: See you later, everybody!