Ariel: Yaaawwwwwnnnnnnn! Sheepers, what time is it?
Sasha: 5:30 ...
Ariel: What?! How am I up so early??? This has to be a new record!
Sasha: ... in the afternoon.
Ariel: Oh. Wow, I must've been really tired!
Sasha: No comment. Are you ready to build this Heroscape map and play with the new figures now?
Ariel: Without even having any breakfast?
Sasha: You had breakfast at noon. Then you said you needed an after-breakfast nap.
Ariel: Oh yeah.
Sasha: So now do you need lunch or dinner before we can play?
Ariel: No, I guess I'm good.
Sasha: Great! Let's get building.
Ariel: Yeah! What kinda map are we going to make?
Sasha: I dunno, let's just wing it as we go.
Ariel: Ooh, "wing it!" Haha.
Sasha: Why are you laughing?
Ariel: Because a couple of your guys you picked last night have wings, and some of mine do too. So there's a boatload of wings in this matchup.
Sasha: Okay, I get it now.
Ariel: You weren't trying to be funny?
Sasha: No, but I'm glad it tickled you.
Ariel: Hahaha! You're a riot, Sash!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Oh. You know, because your guys have wings with feathers, and feathers tickle. So you didn't mean that one either?
Sasha: No. But look, it's your bedtime already!
Ariel: Huh? No it's not.
Sasha: That time I was joking. You know, because time flies when you're having fun, and these guys with wings can fly?
Ariel: I mean, your dudes can, but mine can't. They're gliders. Plus, it doesn't seem like you're having that much fun so far, so obviously I wasn't going to get that one.
Sasha: Ugh. Anyway, here -- put these big map pieces together.
Ariel: Sure!
Sasha and Ariel: (build, build, build)
Sasha: That's looking pretty good. Do we want to put some trees on there?
Ariel: Heck, yeah! How about one here ... and another one here. I wish we had more, though.
Sasha: I think we do have more somewhere, they're just from the old old Heroscape stuff MSG has had for longer than he's known us.
Ariel: Never mind, then. It'll be way to much work to dig those out.
Sasha: I'm pretty sure they're just in that closet over there.
Ariel: All the way over there? No thanks, I'm all comfy and settled in here by the map we're building. Let's put on some of these walls instead of more trees.
Sasha: Whatever. How about some here, and here, and one of these ruined pieces over here.
Ariel: Sweet! This map is looking awesome. Can we put some water on too? Like, maybe there's a spring on top of this hill and a stream running down to a pond right about there.
Sasha: Sounds cool. Here, let me put the first piece on the top of the hill ... sproinngg!
Ariel: What was that?
Sasha: Oh, come on. It was the sound a spring makes.
Ariel: No, I think it's more like, glubble, glubble, glubble.
Sasha: The other kind of --
Ariel: Haha, I totally fooled you! I got it right away. "Sproinngg!" That was pretty good, actually.
Sasha: Okay. So are we done with this map, do you think?
Ariel: Yeah, it looks pretty kickin' to me!
Sasha: Me too. So, do you remember how to play?
Ariel: Basically. Except maybe for a couple things.
Sasha: Well, think really hard, because anything you don't remember I'm going to make you look up in the rulebook and read yourself.
Ariel: I totally just remembered everything.
Sasha: Uh-huh. So first we're going to roll to see who puts down their first card of figures first.
Ariel: Yeah, I definitely remembered that.
Sasha: Cool beans. Go ahead and roll, then.
Ariel: ...
Sasha: It's the 20-sided die.
Ariel: I knew that! There, I got a 6.
Sasha: I got an 18.
Ariel: Waaah, now you're going to win for sure!
Sasha: I guess we're done playing, then. That was easy.
Ariel: Hey, I was joking!
Sasha: Anyway, I won the roll, so I get to say who goes first. And I pick ... you!
Ariel: Oh, dang. I totally wasn't ready for that.
Sasha: Who ya gonna put down, and where?
Ariel: Obviously, my big hoofster dude. And ... right about here. Your turn!
Sasha: I'll put down these two Kyrie ladies here and here.
Ariel: Hey!
Sasha: What? That's a perfectly good place to put them.
Ariel: No, I just noticed that one has bat wings instead of feathery wings. So I was only half as tickled as you thought.
Sasha: Who are you putting down next?
Ariel: My only ones left, Owl-Shoe and Kitty-Dog. Annnd ... I'll put them over here. My other guys don't go on the map until later.
Sasha: I know. I read their cards. I'm putting my Oathbound Phalanx here.
Ariel: Ick! The Pile-o-Spiders!
Sasha: And it says I can put any or all of my Oathbound Legionnaires on its card, so I put them all on.
Ariel: What next?
Sasha: Here's the rulebook.
Ariel: Dang it, Sash, you were supposed to be joking about that!
Sasha: Fine, I'll just tell you.
Ariel: Thanks! You're a great girlfriend.
Sasha: Mostly I'm giving in because I don't want to have to wait forever for you to find the rule you're looking for.
Ariel: Well ... that's kind of sucky of you to say. But you're still a great girlfriend.
Sasha: Really? I just love how sweet you are sometimes, Aers.
Ariel: Actually I was only trying to make you take it easy on me so I'll win.
Sasha: Not happening. Anyway, what we do now is put our order markers on our cards.
Ariel: Mmm ... done!
Sasha: Me too.
Ariel: Now we roll for initiative! I remembered that bit! 15!
Sasha: 7, so you go first!
Ariel: Super-cool! So, I could roll the 20-sided die to see if I can bring Tuck Hair Again into the game. He's the jet-pack squirrel. But I don't think I'm going to right now. Instead, it's the Horny Hoofster's turn!
Sasha: That's what you're going with to call him?
Ariel: Yep, and with his Command Familiar power, he's gonna give ... Kitty-Dog a turn first. Kitty-Dog's going to run over here, one, two, three, four, five, six spaces. Arf! Then Horny Hoofster is following. He'll go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven because he's crazy fast. Now he's almost right behind KD.
Sasha: My turn?
Ariel: Yeah, that's all I can do.
Sasha: My first order marker is on ... the Pile-o-Spiders!
Ariel: Ewww! Why are you calling them that instead of their real name?
Sasha: Because that's what you're calling them, and you obviously think they're creepy. I'm moving him right here. That's my whole turn.
Ariel: Dang, he's slow. Okay, my marker number two is -- oops, wait! Before I reveal it, I get to roll for Tuck Hair Again! 16, yes! I'm putting him up here by the spring ... sproinngg! And I'm moving these two order markers onto him! Double-extra-ka-sproinngg! Then I'm revealing this one to show he's going on number 2!
Sasha: You were just waiting to spring that trap, weren't you?
Ariel: I sure was!
Sasha: I said, waiting to spring that trap.
Ariel: Right, I admitted I was.
Sasha: (sigh)
Ariel: Anyhow, THA jetpack squirrel has range of 6, so he doesn't even have to move to blast your pile-o-spiders with an attack of 3, plus 1 for being up high compared to your guy. That's 4 dice! Ka-pow!
Sasha: Looks like only one skull.
Ariel: Booooo.
Sasha: Pile-o-Spiders rolls its 3 defense ... one shield, no problemo.
Ariel: Bleh.
Sasha: Okay, well I'd be crazy to keep climbing that hill and letting you blast me. It'll take forever for me to get to you. So I'm moving the SpiderPile over here behind the wall where you can't see him. That's my marker number 2.
Ariel: Ha! I fooled you into thinking my number 3 was Tuck, when it was really the wingy glider guys! I only get to put one of them on the board, but I can put him right here and he's way away from SpiderPile but close enough to shoot with 3 dice!
Sasha: Did you get some strategy advice from MSG or something?
Ariel: No. Honest, no! We didn't tell him we found all the new figures and got them out, remember? So I didn't want to chance it. Dang! Only one skull again!
Sasha: Two shields this time. My number 3 is ... Kilkorax. She flies over here and is going to use her Witchcraft Telekinesis on your squirrelly hair-tucker.
Ariel: What?! What's that do?
Sasha: If I roll a 17 or higher, she gets to drag him down here next to her with her mind.
Ariel: Hey!
Sasha: But I fail. So the round's over.
Ariel: New order markers, right?
Sasha: Right.
Ariel: Okay, I'm set.
Sasha: Me too. And I roll a 20 for initiative!
Ariel: Agh, no fair! I only roll a 10.
Sasha: Yes! The SpiderPile is gonna spit out a load of spiders! Then he's going to move up here next to Kilkorax and whack her with this All As One special attack. It's the same number of dice as my normal attack, but if I roll all skulls, you can't roll any defense dice and your figure is straight up dead.
Ariel: Wait, what?
Sasha: You heard right. Here we go ... come on, skulls! Rats, only 1 skull.
Ariel: That's still terrifying! I hate this Pile-o-Spiders!
Sasha: Oh. Wait. I got so excited about trying out this attack power, I wasn't paying attention. Kilkorax is my guy, not yours. That was my plan for if I yanked the Hairy Squirrel down next to me.
Ariel: OMG, thank goodness. That SpiderPile is such a pile of ick, I didn't even notice you were attacking yourself. Haha, now you have to roll defense dice against your own guy!
Sasha: I dunno ... I'm not sure if the rules even let you attack your own figures ... lemme look it up.
Ariel: Pretty sure you can because there's some of those special attacks and powers that will roast your own dudes if you're not careful how you aim them.
Sasha: Yeah, I guess you're right. This sucks.
Ariel: Oh, man, now I really wish you'd rolled all skulls!
Sasha: Well, I didn't and Kilkorax rolls 1 shield, so she's fine.
Ariel: You totally wasted your turn though, haha!
Sasha: Not totally, because now I get to go with the spiders my Pile dropped off.
Ariel: Woop.
Sasha: They're going to scurry over here and swarm Owly, cause they're fast! And they've got 3 attack each. Two skulls on Owly for the first one.
Ariel: Eek! No shields! Owl-Shoe's almost dead! Nooo!
Sasha: Next spider ... 1 skull.
Ariel: I block it. Whew!
Sasha: Last one ... 2 skulls again!
Ariel: Three shields! Yay, Owl-Shoe!
Sasha: I'll get him next time. Who's your first order marker on?
Ariel: THA Squirrel! He's flying over here where your witchy wing-lady can't see him and he can pop one of those spiders. 4 attack dice cause he's higher than it is! What?! Only 1 skull. These dice tonight!
Sasha: You just got 3 shields on a 3-die roll! What are you complaining about?
Ariel: I guess you're right.
Sasha: Spider defends with ... whoa, look at that! 3 shields for me too!
Ariel: Copycat.
Sasha: My number 2 is Kilkorax. She'll fly up on top of the hill and try telekinesing your glider dude, since I can't see the squirrel. Plus he's a squad figure, so I only need an 8 or higher ... what the crap? I roll a 1.
Ariel: This is going to be a long game if we don't start rolling better on our attacks! Tell you what, I'll start.
Sasha: Haha. Go ahead and try it.
Ariel: My number 2 is the Hoofster, so he's giving Owl-Shoe a turn to start with. Owl-Shoe's going to screechity-screech at your spiders, twice! Two skulls on the first one! But no skulls on the second one.
Sasha: I roll no shields. One spider down.
Ariel: Now Horny Hoofster hoofs it over here and smacks the next spider with 5 dice! Two skulls ... not great, but ....
Sasha: Only one shield, so it's enough.
Ariel: Yes!
Sasha: My number 3 is Mielki the Kyrie Warrior.
Ariel: You should have her fly over and attack that Pile-o-Spiders that tried to kill her friend.
Sasha: Even if I wanted to, her movement's only 5, so she's too far away. She'll just fly up here near Kilkorax. Who's your third order marker on?
Ariel: Vorid Glide Strikers! A new one swoops in up here, and the old one flies over next to him. They're both going to shoot Milky from higher up, so they get 3 dice each! 3 skulls! And then 2 skulls!
Sasha: Oof. Mielki has 3 defense ... I roll no shields ... and 1 shield. Wow, that's all but 1 of her wounds.
Ariel: Haha, I guess you could knock her over with a feather now, huh?
Sasha: The way I'm rolling, yeah.
Ariel: New order markers?
Sasha: Unless you have some secret power that lets you slam on me even more.
Ariel: Nope. Let's go!
Sasha: There. Ready for initiative.
Ariel: Me too ... 7.
Sasha: That's a break at least ... I get a 9. Okay, Mielki's got to do some damage before she eats it. She's flying 5 spaces over this way where she can attack Kita from elevation.
Ariel: Noo, Kitty-Dog!
Sasha: She starts off with 4 dice ...
Ariel: Ack!
Sasha: And gets 1 extra for height ...
Ariel: Double ack!
Sasha: Close ... Double Attack. She gets to attack twice every round.
Ariel: You're kidding!
Sasha: I'm not. Schwack! Two skulls.
Ariel: Come on, Kitty, Kitty ... one shield.
Sasha: Second attack ... 3 skulls!
Ariel: Dead. That's so sad!
Sasha: Don't mess with the Kyries.
Ariel: Well, my number 1 marker is on my glidey guys, so glider number three is swooping down here to shoot at your last spider. The other two are gonna shoot at Milky first, then at Kilky if Milky bites it. Spider! One skull.
Sasha: One shield.
Ariel: Milky! Three skulls!
Sasha: That die is sorta cocked.
Ariel: Only sorta! You can tell it was gonna be a skull if it went all the way flat!
Sasha: Fine. Only two shields, so she's dead. But on the plus side, if I lose this game I can say it was because I let you have that cocked die.
Ariel: You can say it, but that won't make it true. Last glidey guy on ... Kilky! Only one skull.
Sasha: She's safe with one shield. And it's her turn next. She moves right here and attacks this glider with 4 dice. Three skulls.
Ariel: They only have 2 defense, so he's toast.
Sasha: That's it for Kilkorax.
Ariel: Well guess what? My next turn is with the gliders again! My last one swoops down to the top of the hill, and this other one flies up there next to him, so they're both higher up than Kilky. Kablam! Kablam! One skull ... and two skulls.
Sasha: Two shields, and one shield, so she takes one wound.
Ariel: Ha-hah! Oh, oops. I forgot I was going to try killing Milky. Well, I still have this one over here to shoot at your spider with. Die, spider! Three skulls!
Sasha: One shield. You make a spider-shaped smear out of it.
Ariel: Serves it right!
Sasha: Kilkorax's turn again ... oh, great, now I roll three shields. And a blank, so your glider doesn't even need to defend.
Ariel: Ha-ha! My marker is on Horny Hoofster. He and Owl-Shoe want revenge on Milky! Owl-Shoe flies over here, which puts him higher up than her, and he's using a normal attack to get the extra higher-up die ... three skulls!
Sasha: Looks like he beaks her to death. Only 1 shield.
Ariel: Nice!
Sasha: I guess we know where my order markers are going.
Ariel: Huh? I don't.
Sasha: Oh, wait, I don't either. For some reason you killed Mielki and it's like my brain decided that killed Kilkorax too.
Ariel: Not to be mean, but you're kind of stinking at this game tonight, Sash.
Sasha: No kidding. Okay, now I'm ready for initiative.
Ariel: That's a whole 1 for me.
Sasha: 7 for me. My SpiderPile drops a spider off here and climbs up to attack your glider guy on the hill. One skull.
Ariel: Two shields!
Sasha: Now I get a turn with the spider, which climbs up to attack the same guy ... one skull again.
Ariel: One shield.
Sasha: Fat lotta good winning initiative did me.
Ariel: Gliders, attack! This one flies here to whomp on Kilky ... zero skulls. Then the next guy ... 1 skull.
Sasha: One shield.
Ariel: Last guy has to attack this SpiderPile.
Sasha: Right, because you can't attack with range if an enemy is adjacent to you.
Ariel: You can't? I was just attacking it because it's so creeply-scary. Anyway, two skulls on SpiderPile.
Sasha: Zero shields.
Ariel: Wow, I'm starting to feel bad about this.
Sasha: It's not over yet! Kilkorax takes a turn. She's going to try mind-yanking your gliders. She can try it on two of them, if she misses the first one. 17! Got him! Now she attacks him with 4 dice! For ... 1 whole skull.
Ariel: Two shields! My turn! Horny Hoofster is number 2. He'll move Owl-Shoe up next to this glider to attack with 3 dice. 2 skulls!
Sasha: Fresh outta shields. He's dead.
Ariel: Now the Hoofster goes. He's hoofing it up here to attack Kilky with 5 dice ... 4 skulls!
Sasha: She gets an extra die for elevation, but only rolls 1 shield.
Ariel: Lucky! Without that extra die you'd be dead-dead.
Sasha: Oh, yeah, real lucky. I've got 3 figures left with 1 life each. Meanwhile, you're still at 5 guys, and your centaur has, what ... seven life? What the hell?
Ariel: I can't help it if I picked better figures. Anyhoo, your turn.
Sasha: My last marker is on the SpiderPile. He climbs up here to attack this glider. For 1 measly skull.
Ariel: Two shields!
Sasha: Ugh. And the spider gets a turn ... two skulls.
Ariel: One shield! See, you're doing great!
Sasha: Oh, yeah, you're totally on the ropes.
Ariel: My number 3 is the Hoofster. Owl-Shoe flies up here where he can beak at Kilky with 4 dice! Let's see ... 2 skulls!
Sasha: Two shields. Pretty much just prolonging the agony.
Ariel: Hoofster's turn! He slashes Kilky for 3 skulls!
Sasha: Pretty sure we used up our allotment of 3-shield defense rolls this game ... oh, now that's just cruel. Two shields, but did you see that one die?
Ariel: Yeah, it was totally going to be a shield if you had just breathed on it hard before it flopped back down to a blank.
Sasha: She's dead. Now we know where all my order markers go.
Ariel: Huh? You've got a spider and a SpiderPile. You could split them up.
Sasha: I could, but I'm not gonna.
Ariel: Well, if you're putting all yours on SpiderPile, I'll put all mine on Horny Hoofster. No, I guess this one on THA Squirrel.
Sasha: That's your bluff marker, isn't it?
Ariel: Maybe.
Sasha: I roll 17 for initiative.
Ariel: 2 for me.
Sasha: SpiderPile attacks Owly. Uh-huh. Now I get proved wrong about using up all our 3-shields rolls.
Ariel: That's pretty sad, Sash.
Sasha: Tell me about it. Now it's the spider's turn, and he's gonna climb aboard the Pile.
Ariel: He can do that?
Sasha: Yeah, that lets me use the All As One special attack and it also means I can sacrifice that spider to survive any attack that would do wounds to me.
Ariel: Dang, no wonder you put all your markers on SpiderPile.
Sasha: Your turn.
Ariel: Hoofster tells Owl-Shoe to mess your pile up! You get beaked for 2 skulls!
Sasha: Only one shield, so there goes my last spider.
Ariel: Yeah! Hoofster's turn! All I can do is try to climb around this direction, though, because he's a two-space figure and he won't fit in any of the spaces next to the pile that he can get to this turn.
Sasha: SpiderPile attacks Owl-Shoe. One skull.
Ariel: Two shields. Owl-Shoe beaks you back! One skull.
Sasha: Two shields. SpiderPile attacks Owl-Shoe for ... three skulls! Finally!
Ariel: Can I, can I, can I -- nope. Not only do I not get 3 shields, I don't get any. Owl-Shoe!
Sasha: Not that it does me much good.
Ariel: No, because Horny Hoofster is em-ay-dee MAD now, Mister SpiderPile! He moves over here and ka-SLICE-O! Two skulls.
Sasha: One shield. Game over.
Ariel: Woohoo! I rock!
Sasha: Winner puts the game away.
Ariel: WHAT?!?
Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!
