Sasha and Ariel Experience ... The Acolyte!

Sasha: Wow, it's been a hot minute since we did a Star Wars experiencing post!
Ariel: I looked it up when I was going to read back over some of our Star Wars posts and remember some of the stuff we said, and it's been two years and then a couple of months on top of that!
Sasha: Whoa, I'm surprised you went to all that effort!
Ariel: All what effort?
Sasha: Reading all those posts. What did you find out?
Ariel: Oh, I didn't end up reading them. There were soooo many! I just saw the last one was over two years ago ... and the first one was before the pandemic! I had only just barely gotten here! Anyway, there were dozens and dozens of Star Wars posts and I wasn't going to try taking that on once I saw them and remembered how many there were.
Sasha: Dozens and dozens? That seems like a pretty high number when I glance over at our sidebar of all our Star Wars posts.
Ariel: Well, there were at least a dozen. I could tell that just looking. Counting them all would only have made me more sure I wasn't going to read that much stuff, and I was already pretty sure, TBH.
Sasha: Got it. So is there anything we want to talk about before we tell everyone to put their spoiler blankets on?
Ariel: Yeah, because there's something we have to spoil on account of it would be really mean not to.
Sasha: Really? What's that?
Ariel: The first part of this show is all out of order! I got SUCH a big headache out of trying to figure out what was going on, and I don't want our readers' heads to hurt as much as mine did, so I feel like we've just got to break our rules and tell them to watch episode 3 and episode 7 at the very start because that's the actual order things happen in.
Sasha: I think I agree about episode 3, but not about episode 7. Episode 3 has lots of information that would help you understand what the characters are doing and thinking in episodes 1 and 2, but episode 7 gives away all the big mysteries of the whole season, so I'd tell people to watch that one where the Disney people put it, between 6 and 8.
Ariel: Woohoo! Look at us being big-time Star Wars fans!
Sasha: What do you mean?
Ariel: We're arguing about what order to watch episodes in! I think that's like a final exam to graduate from being pretty big fans to being really big fans.
Sasha: I think we're already really big fans, though.
Ariel: Hmm. Then I guess maybe we must have argued about the order to watch things in in one of those dozens and dozens of posts I didn't read, and I just don't remember that argument.
Sasha: All right. So can we have everybody put their spoiler blankets on now?
Ariel: Sure.
Sasha: So what do we want to talk about first? Episode 3?
Ariel: No, I want to talk about episode 1 in case anybody who left their spoiler blanket off is still reading and isn't sure we're right about watching episode 3 before episodes 1 and 2. Trust us, people! You've got to watch episode 3 first.
Sasha: Maybe give them some specific reasons?
Ariel: I'm going to! It's why I'm talking about episode 1 as soon as you let me.
Sasha: Go for it.
Ariel: So -- episode 1 starts off with a big, bad bar-fight between a mysterious masked murder-chick and this Jedi lady named Master End Our Uh.
Sasha: I'm not sure that's her name, and it's kind of a mouthful ...
Ariel: That's why I'm abbreviating it to MEOU, which sounds like a kitty.
Sasha: I didn't think she was very kitty-like, but okay.
Ariel: Kitties are cute, though! Anyway, MMMchick goes in this bar and gets up in MEOU's face and says she wants to throw down with her, and MEOU acts like she doesn't want to but then ends up doing it and MMMchick keeps being mysterious for a while during the fight and also keeps being masked until MEOU manages to pull the mask off her, and then pretty soon after that she gets to the murdering part and it turns out MEOU isn't all that much like a kitty because she definitely doesn't have 9 lives.
Sasha: And did you think that whole bit would be helped a ton by seeing episode 3 beforehand?
Ariel: No, only a little. Because at one point MEOU sees that MMMchick's got these forehead circles on one side of her forehead under her braid-bangs, which I'm going to call "brangs" from here on to save time. And because we see that, we'd totally know, "Hey, that's the twin-girl who got the forehead circles witched onto her in episode 3!" Only if we'd watched them in the right order, we probably wouldn't know it was episode 3 so we just would have said, "last episode."
Sasha: Uh-huh.
Ariel: It's what happens next that REALLY needs you to watch episode 3 first, because then we switch to the other twin-girl suddenly waking up from being asleep and taking a big gasp, and as soon as I saw that, I was like, "Oh, dang. We just wasted the whole time we spent watching that big bar fight because it was all a dream anyhow." Because I thought it was the same girl on account of her brangs were hiding her forehead where the forehead circles would have been if she'd had them, so we didn't know she didn't have them.
Sasha: Oh, okay. I didn't assume that's what was going on, but I can see how someone might.
Ariel: Right? So then I'm remembering people with the Force can see the future sometimes, so I got really mad because I thought, "Hey! Did they just spoil a fight that's going to happen later by showing us her Force dream about it? Now I won't be surprised when the fight happens and she kills MEOU for real!"
Sasha: Definitely not what I was thinking, but I get how you could.
Ariel: Thanks. We're arguing a lot less this post than normal, which I think is great.
Sasha: Do we really argue all that much usually? I don't think it's like we're constantly arguing or anything.
Ariel: Are you kidding me? Of course we -- wait a minute. I see what you're doing.
Sasha: Sorry, I couldn't help it.
Ariel: Anyway, then after we see NMMMchick doing stuff for a while --
Sasha: NMMMchick?
Ariel: Yeah, "Not Mysterious or Masked or Murdering Chick." Which I didn't know at the time but I would have if we'd watched episode 3 first. So like I was saying, after some more of her on this spaceship, we see this Jedi classroom being taught by Master S'all. And if we'd watched episode 3 first, we'd know MEOU was his boss way back when and he and she and those other two Jedi really effed things up on the twin-girls' home planet and that's why MMMchick was doing her murdering bit and why NMMMchick wasn't.
Sasha: I totally agree that you've got a majorly solid case about why people should watch episode 3 first. But I think his name was Sol, not S'all.
Ariel: Yeah, but I like saying S'all because then when I'm talking about the S'all who's in the now story I can say, "This S'all" and when I'm talking about the one in the past story I can say, "That S'all."
Sasha: Okay, I kind of like that.
Ariel: Thanks! But one more thing I want to say about why they should have started with episode 3 is, then right off the bat you get to see the lez-bewitches. I thought they were pretty awesome. Although then I was bummed when they all died on account of That S'all and MEOU effing up the mission to their planet. Except I didn't get the full bumming effect because episode 1 spoils the fact that the twin-girls' whole family got killed in a fire, so when I was watching episode 3 I was like, "Dang, I like these lez-bewitches, it sucks they're going to die," and then when they did there wasn't much of any surprise about it.
Sasha: More and more good points about why people should watch episode 3 first.
Ariel: Wow, I've been talking so much, haven't I? Maybe you should take a turn.
Sasha: Sure, glad to! Don't point this next part out, because I'm going to gush about the hottest character on the whole show.
Ariel: The guy who that little horny girl told to put his shirt on? I mean, he was pretty muscle-y, but I didn't think he was that hot.
Sasha: No, not that guy. He was too dumb for me to think he was hot. I'm not really attracted to dumb hunks.
Ariel: Oh. So ... what, the dorky nerdy Jedi who was like the secretary or something for Green Baldy Lady?
Sasha: What? No. Hard pass. I do have a thing for the right kind of hot nerdy guy, but that guy was a goober. No, I mean --
Ariel: The super smooth Jedi girl with the big eyes and bat ears?
Sasha: No, why would our boyfriend be jealous of her?
Ariel: I dunno. I'm just running out of candidates for hottest character. Some of the witches were pretty hot, but others definitely weren't ... oh, but the did all get burnt up in the fire, is that the kind of hot you meant?
Sasha: NO, I'm talking about the main bad guy who pretends to be a weaselly shrimp but then turns out to be totally jacked and bad-ass and also weirdly sensitive in an evil kinda way. Once he stopped being weaselly, I was totally drooling over him.
Ariel: Okay, now I get what you mean. I didn't think of him because I didn't think he was hot.
Sasha: You didn't???
Ariel: No, because he was way too cool. Like, ice cold.
Sasha: Oh, all right.
Ariel: Like a polar droid picture.
Sasha: What?
Ariel: It's from a song.
Sasha: Can I get back to talking about the hot guy?
Ariel: Sure!
Sasha: Anyway, other than being super-evil, that dude was the bomb.
Ariel: I guess. When he wasn't wearing that ugly hat.
Sasha: Helmet. But you're right, it was pretty ugly.
Ariel: SO ugly. I was surprised how handsome he was when he took it off.
Sasha: Surprised? Didn't you already know it was the weaselly guy the whole time?
Ariel: Well yeah, I knew it was C'mere, but I didn't think he was handsome when he was being weaselly on account of how mega-weaselly he was. Plus he was shifty too. Those are not hot qualities for me.
Sasha: Me either, but I could still he he was good-looking. Anyway, once he took that helmet back off, he got super hot -- sexy and charming and bold and even kind of wise, you know? Plus ULTRA-suave. That guy had all the suave.
Ariel: You forgot the part about him being pretty funny too, like when he's complaining about the Jedi finding out who he is so now he has to kill them, and This S'all says, "Hey, you're the one who came here where we'd find you." And instead of pointing out, "Yeah, because my name is C'mere," he says, "Well, I did wear a mask."
Sasha: That was a great line, you're right. He was pretty clever.
Ariel: It would have been funnier if he hadn't just murdered all those people, but I guess no guy is 100% perfect. Although our boyfriend comes pretty close.
Sasha: Yeah, he's hot in that nerdy kind of way and he's funny and clever and sensitive too.
Ariel: Plus, he doesn't go around murdering people.
Sasha: So what else do we want to say about The Acolyte?
Ariel: I mean, there's probably other stuff to say, but I think our boyfriend is about to start the next show in the Star Wars rewatch he's doing, so maybe we ought to wrap that up, especially since it may be another one we haven't seen yet.
Sasha: Works for me.
Ariel and Sasha: Okay then, see you later, everybody!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Shipwreckscape!

Ariel: Woohoo! New Heroscape! And you know what's even better?
Sasha: What?
Ariel: Our boyfriend's actually okay with letting us play with it first! And he built us a map to play on. AND he made up armies for us to play with. It looks like this.

Sasha: Wow. That's definitely even better than just new Heroscape arriving. Cool shipwreck!
Ariel: Plus, do you know what's even evener betterer?
Sasha: Tell me.
Ariel: He made up three armies -- two that are basically even and one that's extra big. So we can either play a one on one against each other or find somebody else to play with and do a two on one where two armies gang up against the third one. I figure since Heddy learned how to play last time we should ask her. And do you know what's super even better bestest?
Sasha: You already asked her and she said yes.
Ariel: What! How did you know?
Sasha: Because I see her coming this way from the kitchen with a cup of coffee.
Heddy: Hi, guys.
Ariel: Hi, Heddy!
Sasha: Heya. So Aers roped you into playing Heroscape again, huh?
Heddy: I had fun last time, but I figured I'd better get caffeinated if I'm going to be perky enough to remember the rules and strategies.
Ariel: Don't worry, these are new figures, so all the strategies will be different anyhow.
Sasha: So who's going to be on the team-up side and who's going to be playing the giganto army?
Heddy: I 100% volunteer to not play the giganto army. That sounds a bit nightmarish, even with caffeine in my system.
Ariel: Well in that case probably I should play the giganto army on account of Heddy and I teamed up last time and beat you and MSG's team, so if the two of us team up again and stomp you you'll probably feel like it's just a repeat of that game.
Sasha: Sounds good to me. You know I won't turn down a chance to play with Heddy.
Heddy: Mm. Mutual facts.
Ariel: Anyways ... that means I'm playing this army with a super-buff Captain-Pirate-Admiral-King for its leader, and these extradimensional tentacle-y things, plus some wingy folks and some chainsaw ax orcs and a dinosaur rider and a creepy no-skin guy on his no-skin horse.

Sasha: That's a pretty big army.
Heddy: Should we be worried? What does our side look like?
Ariel: You've got these two armies. First is this bunch of zombie cybordogs with a trenchcoat rat-riding dude for their leader.

Then there's this big bunch of insect guys and some wingy chicks backing them up.

Sasha: Yeah, I don't know if our guys look as tough as your guys do.
Heddy: Both of these armies have a bit of an ickiness to them, too. If I can have my druthers, though, I'd take the one with the winged ladies over the ghoul dogs and Trenchcoat LaForge there.
Sasha: Be my guest. I guess I'm these horror hounds, then. We ready to put our figures on the board and set up our order markers and roll initiative?
Heddy: I hope I'm ready.
Ariel: Oh! The rules that came with this Capiradmirking dude say when you've got a two-on-one situations with the same points on each side, the people with two armies don't get to use their number 3 markers.
Heddy: I suppose that makes sense. We have the same number of points, but it would be a sizable advantage for the two of us to get twice as many turns as you do.
Sasha: Of course you tell us this after we agreed to be on the two-army team.
Ariel: I wasn't trying to be sneaky! I only just remembered it when you mentioned order markers.
Sasha: It's fine. I mean, I guess our side still gets one more turn each round of order markers than you do.
Heddy: I've set up my markers.
Ariel: Yikes! That was quick!
Heddy: It was pretty easy since I only had 2 that really matter to decide on.
Ariel: I'm still working on mine. Give me a second.
Sasha: Mine are placed too. Although maybe before we say we're done with them, you should tell us if there are any special rules about that shipwreck.
Ariel: Oh gosh, that's right! Um, okay, so if you're next to one of those cannons, you can turn it any whichaway and then shoot with it instead of doing your normal attack. It's got a range of 8 and does 3 attack dice to whatever's in the hex you shoot at plus the adjacent hexes. Oh, and it's a special attack, so it doesn't get a bonus for being up high. Then there's the rope ladders. If you're going up or down a rope ladder, it counts as one elevation level, and if someone is adjacent to a rope ladder, they're also adjacent to anybody else. Adjacent to the ladder means you're in the hex at the bottom of it, or you're in the hex it's attached to.
Sasha: All right, all that's good to know. I'm okay with where my markers are now.
Ariel: Wait! Also, rope ladders are only for small and medium figures to climb on. I guess large creatures still get to use that adjacent rule for attacking? It doesn't say for sure.
Sasha: Okay, I roll a 4 for initiative.
Ariel: Hey! I didn't say I was done putting down order markers! You stopped me to ask about the rules.
Sasha: Sorry. I guess I'll just have to re-roll once you're done.
Ariel: Boo. I bet you wouldn't've said that if you rolled really good.
Sasha: We'll never know, will we? Are you ready yet?
Ariel: Yes.
Sasha: I roll a 7. Not much better. 
Heddy: I roll 17.
Ariel: 18! Okay, my first marker is Capiradmirking. He's got these command markers he can put on other heroes to take a turn with them. I'm gonna move this orc on the bonehead dinosaur forward, and then Capraking flies up a few spaces too.
Heddy: My first marker is on my Skordyre Infantry, and they get to take a turn with two common insect heroes. They have to have different names, though. So I'll move forward with this Spitting Hive Soldier and this Bursting Hive Soldier.
Ariel: Ew, bursting? That sounds gross. Well, at least he looks slow.
Heddy: After that my infantry move up next to these bushes. Those give me a bonus on defense against ranged attacks, right?
Ariel: If somebody's shooting you from a distance, yeah.
Sasha: Okay, my first order marker is on my spookydogs. The squad guys get to let one of the hero guys take a turn first.
Heddy: How can we tell which ones are squad figures and which are heroes? They look pretty much the same to me.
Sasha: The squad ones only have one arm. See?
Heddy: Oh, got it.
Sasha: All of mine end up in the bushes too.
Ariel: Okay. Well, my next turn is with Capring, so he uses another command marker ...
Sasha: Wow, you're using those up quick.
Ariel: I get them back every turn! So this turn I'm ordering Mr. No-skin around, so he charges over here ... and then Ca-ping is going to fly where he's hidden by the ship from you.
Heddy: My second marker is on the infantry too. They'll send these Hive Soldiers toward that ladder amidships, then move a bit closer to your skinless thing. Yuck.
Sasha: My guys from last turn are headed around toward the back of the ship.
Ariel: Okay! Ca-ping is my third order marker too! He'll have this girl with the red wings fly ... here, and then he'll fly up to the top of the ship! I'm going to put him by the ladder instead of one of the cannons, because that makes him adjacent to your Soldier. Is that the Spitting one or the Burping one?
Heddy: It's the spitting one. The other is the bursting one.
Ariel: Haha, I just thought Spitting and Burping sounded funnier. Anyhow, since he's adjacent, Ca-ping gets to attack Mr. Spitty twice. He's up high, so he gets 4 dice instead of 3 -- agh, no skulls! Okay, that better not happen on this second attack because I get to add in 2 more dice for it. That's better! 3 skulls!
Heddy: Oof. If I'd know he could roll that many dice I think I'd have positioned myself very differently. Let's see. My defense is 3 ... and I definitely don't roll 3 shields. Dead.
Ariel: Yay! First blood! Or first whatever kind of goo your bugs use for blood.
Sasha: New order markers?
Ariel: Right.
Sasha: I'm ready.
Heddy: Me too.
Ariel: Me -- oh, dang! I was supposed to be putting down Kraken tentacles every time Ca-ping went! I better remember that this time!
Sasha: Can you maybe not? I'm already feeling kinda worried about how this battle looks like it's going.
Ariel: Well I can't forget on purpose! But if I do forget don't rub it in or then I'll be sure not to forget the next time.
Sasha: Deal. I get 10 for initiative.
Heddy: 16.
Ariel: Dragon! Oh, wait. That's bad in this game. Maybe I shouldn't use these Dragonbane dice.
Heddy: My first marker is on my Skordyre Infantry again. I'll move these two Hive Soldiers, then bring my Infantry up adjacent to the skinless monstrosity there. 2 attack dice ... ah! 2 skulls!
Ariel: Yikes! But I roll 3 shields on my 4 defense dice.
Heddy: Ah well. Next I roll 1 skull.
Ariel: 2 shields!
Sasha: My turn? My Necrotech Geistfire moves here and takes a shot at your big-wings bigwig. 3 dice ... aaand 3 shields. My other guys follow him.
Heddy: So that's where my 3 shields went.
Ariel: My turn? Ca-ping puts an order marker on ... Mr. No-skin! He's climbing up on this hill, which is a leaving engagement attack from one of your buggy dudes, Heddy.
Heddy: One die, right? It's a wound. Hallelujah.
Ariel: That's okay because I'm doing Withering Breath on both your guys now, and having a wound lets me do an extra attack die. 3 skulls!
Heddy: Both of them are now very, very withered.
Ariel: Yes! I also get to remove a wound the first time I whack a figure in a turn.
Heddy: This is really not seeming very fair.
Ariel: Well, Ca-ping is moving next to this cannon to blast your last Infantry guy with it! Let's see. Umm ... no ... er ... dang it. That bush is totally in the way! Okey doke, I'll just switch to this spitty bug here. Boom! 2 skulls.
Heddy: Zero shields. This battle is leaning pretty heavy into ignominious territory. Thankfully, my second marker is on my Elites of Ullar, not my Skordyre Infantry. So I'll fly my Elites up to hide by these bushes ... oh. No I won't, because I only have movement of 4. In that case, I'll just spread them out so the most that can get cannoned is 1.
Sasha: This is really terrible so far. 
Heddy: I know, right?
Sasha: Okay, my Geistfire guy ... oops ... was supposed to roll last turn to see if his blaster blew up. Whew! It didn't. He's climbing up to take on -- okay, what's this guy's actual name? Thormun? And I can get right next to him so there's no worry of my gun backfiring. 2 skulls.
Heddy: Don't say "2 skulls" so dispiritedly. It's like you're already assuming you won't do any damage.
Ariel: Yeah, Sash. I've only got 3 defense. See? 1 wound.
Sasha: Fantastic. Out of how many?
Ariel: Um ... 8.
Sasha: Okay, I want my number 3 order marker back.
Heddy: Me too.
Ariel: But ... the rules ...
Sasha: Let's just see how your next turn goes, I guess. Oh, and the one after that too, since you still have 2 left.
Ariel: Uh ... oh! I remembered my Kraken finally! I'll put a tentacle right here next to this dogzombie with the gun.
Sasha: Terrific.
Ariel: So ... now I put a command marker on Raelin and fly her up here to this cannon ... looks like she can shoot at Heddy's Burping Soldier ... I mean Bursting! Sorry! Don't look at me so mean!
Heddy: (sigh) Just roll your cannon attack.
Ariel: 2 skulls.
Heddy: I have 4 defense dice, and ... shockingly, I roll 2 shields!
Ariel: See? It's not that bad yet.
Sasha: Emphasis on the "yet" ... except I really do think it's that bad.
Ariel: Okay, so Ca-ping gets his first attack on zombiedog ... 1 skull.
Sasha: 2 shields.
Ariel: Yay! You guys are starting to do great! Now my second attack ... oh, that's 4 skulls.
Sasha: (glare!)
Ariel: Is he dead? Okay, I guess he's dead. Fine, you guys can use your number three markers. Where is yours going, Heddy?
Heddy: My Skordyre Infantry, for certain. I'll activate this Bursting Soldier who survived by the skin of his teeth last time. Wait. Does he have teeth? Does he have skin? I guess it's more like the ... exoskeleton of his mandibles? At any rate, he'll scuttle over here and bite at your Mr. No-skin. I have elevation, so that's 3 dice ... and 1 skull. 
Ariel: I roll a shield.
Sasha: My number 3 will be the ghoul dogs. I'll move one of my other ghoul heroes over by this tree ... and start climbing up to the deck of the ship. Your turn.
Ariel: I guess my Ramosaur Rider will move here and head-butt your ... Bursting bug ... 1 skull.
Heddy: 1 shield. Whew.
Ariel: Oh, uh ... when the Ramosaur Rider and the defender roll the same number of things, they both take 1 wound.
Heddy: Fine. Well, at least he gets to burst. I need a 9 or better for each of your figures to deal a wound. 7 on your Ramosaur ... 18 on the no-skin monstrosity.
Ariel: So now it's Ca-ping's turn ... I guess I'll take it easy on you and instead of cannoning anybody, I'll fly here and attack this wing lady of yours, Heddy. 1 skull.
Heddy: 3 shields. The roll I'm about to actually need when you attack again.
Ariel: Wow! You totally called that! 3 skulls!
Heddy: 2 shields, so 1 wound, which she can actually survive.
Ariel: Okay, new order markers!
Sasha: First, I get to replace one of my squad figures with the dead Geistfire because they can scavenge each others' parts.
Heddy: Hm! Macabre, but also cool. I'm ready.
Ariel: Me too!
Sasha: Me three. 16 for initiative. 
Heddy: 18!
Ariel: 14. See? You guys are cooking now.
Sasha: Yeah, we've done 3 whole points of damage and we're only down, what, 5 figures? Tides turned. You can concede anytime now.
Heddy: My number one is this Skordyre Infantry, who activates ... this Lurking Hive Soldier who has attack 4 ... and gets 1 skull.
Ariel: Sorry. 2 shields.
Heddy: Next, this Bursting Soldier ... again, 1 skull.
Ariel: Shield.
Sasha: Okay, the regular Reavers are heading in Thormun's direction. The Geistfire stays on the ship and shoots at Raelin. 1 skull for me too.
Heddy: At least we're consistent.
Ariel: Let's see ... she's got ... 3 defense. And she gets a shield. So, it's Thormun's turn, and he'll command ... Mr. No-skin. He's going to dash over here where he can Withering Breath a couple of your guys. Only 2 attack this time ... 1 skull. 
Heddy: Both of my characters defend. 
Ariel: Thormun -- I mean, Ca-ping -- he'll attack your Elite wingy lady ... yikes, 3 skulls!
Heddy: Ha. I also roll 3 skulls. Extremely dead.
Ariel: Then I guess my second attack is on this Lurking dude ... only 1 skull! Yay!
Heddy: Celebrations. I defend. My second order marker is on the Elites of Ullar. The remaining 2 of them move up to attack Thormun. 1 skull followed by ... 3 skulls! Finally a good roll. 
Ariel: My guy rolls 1 shield followed by 1 shield, so 2 more wounds. Maybe I shouldn't've flown him down here.
Sasha: Let's see if I can turn that from a "maybe" to a "for sure." Agent Carr's my next marker, and he moves in here to chop your Captain-Pirate-Admiral-King M.F. with his Sword of Reckoning. 6 dice! Yes, 4 skulls!
Ariel: Oh, man. I feel really bad about this. 3 shields. But at least I'm down half my hit points now. For my turn, first I'll put a marker on Raelin and fly her down to do a Whirlwind Assault on these two insecty things. 2 skulls on each one!
Heddy: Wow, I roll 2 shields for each one.
Ariel: Okay, so now Thormun figures he better take care of this Agent Carr guy. First attack is 2 skulls.
Sasha: Uh-huh. Look at that. I get 4 skulls. You're off to a great start.
Ariel: Only 1 skull on my second attack, though.
Sasha:  I defend.
Heddy: Elites of Ullar again. 2 skulls and 2 skulls.
Ariel: This could be bad ... no shields! And ... YIPE! NO SHIELDS! He's dead!
Sasha: Now you can say you shouldn't have flown him down there.
Heddy: That was very satisfying. At last.
Ariel: Yeah, I shouldn't have flown him down there. But I did also fly Raelin down there, and she gets to do a Vengeful Swoop. She flies over here and spears your Elite of Ullar on an 8 or better ... 11! 1 wound. I'm screwed now though because all my order markers were on Thormun. So I don't get my order marker 3.
Sasha: Nice. I like hearing that. New order markers. I'm done.
Ariel: Me too.
Heddy: Likewise.
Sasha: 11 initiative.
Heddy: 2.
Ariel: Woohoo, 15! I put my number 1 on Raelin, so she gets another Whirlwind Attack. 2 skulls on Agent Carr, 1 skull on this new Elite of Ullar, 2 skulls on this wounded one.
Sasha: Agent Carr is safe.
Heddy: Surprisingly, so are both my Elites.
Ariel: Poop.
Sasha: Sword of Vengeance on Raelin! 4 skulls!
Ariel: Erk, no shields! She's dead-ola!
Sasha: Yes!
Heddy: First up for me is my Skordyre Infantryman. He'll activate a couple of Hive Soldiers ... This Lurking one first, for 3 skulls on Mr. No-skin.
Ariel: 1 wound.
Heddy: Then this Bursting one ... 2 skulls!
Ariel: I'm sweating! Okay, safe.
Heddy: Then now it's the Infantry's turn. He'll move up and attack, getting an extra die because at least 2 of his hivemates are adjacent to you. 2 skulls.
Ariel: Only 1 shield. He's dead. My order marker 2 is these wingy-dingy guys, who would've given Mr. No-skin a free turn if he didn't bite it. They just fly closer.
Sasha: My number 2 is Agent Carr, so he's going to ride his weird rat-dog-horse over here and shoot at your Ramosaur Rider. Only 2 attack ... 1 skull.
Ariel: Ramosaur better not blow this ... okay, he's safe.
Heddy: Number 2 for me is the Elites. They fly closer to the shipwreck.
Ariel: It's my axe orcs, then. First, they give Ramosaur Rider a turn to go headbutt Agent Carr. Ooh, and he can climb up on this hill next to you and get an extra die ... blah! No skulls.
Sasha: Does that mean I have to roll defense anyway and if I get zero shields, we both take a wound?
Ariel: Oh, gosh. Actually, I guess it does!
Sasha: Nope, safe.
Ariel: Axe orcs on the march, then. 
Sasha: My number 3 is the Necrotech Reavers. First they give this Geistfire a turn. I guess he's just going to use this cannon on your Kraken tentacle. 3 skulls!
Ariel: One shield. It's dead. Wow, I did so terrible with that stupid Kraken when it should have been so cool!
Sasha: That's the breaks. Okay, my squad guys will move this way.
Heddy: My number 3 is this Lurking Hive Soldier. He'll move up to your Ramosaur Rider and ... roll 1 skull. And you have elevation. 
Ariel: He's safe but barely! New order markers!
Sasha: Done.
Heddy: Done.
Ariel: Done.
Sasha: 18 initiative. 
Heddy: 9.
Ariel: 17.
Sasha: Agent Carr is chopping dinosaur. Sword of Vengeance! Fff. Only 2 skulls. 
Ariel: Eek! No shields! Dead! And I was about to use him, too! Now all I get to do is move my axe orcs.
Heddy: My turn? Skordyre Infantry. Lurking Soldier scurries up and rolls 2 skulls on this Chain Grut.
Ariel: He's safe.
Heddy: One skull from this Bursting Soldier, then.
Ariel: Safe!
Heddy: My Infantrybug moves here then, and that's it for me.
Sasha: Agent Carr! He zips over to this Revenant dude and uses his Sword of Vengeance again. 3 skulls.
Ariel: He's suuper dead. But now it's time for orcs with axes! GZZRRRR! 1 skull on Agent Carr and 2 skulls on Agent Carr.
Sasha: Safe and safe.
Ariel: 2 skulls on the Lurking bug!
Heddy: 1 shield. It dies.
Ariel: 2 skulls on the Bursting bug!
Heddy: It bursts. But I don't make my Acid Sac roll. My kyrie Elites fly up onto the ship and one trains a cannon on your kyrie down there. 3 skulls.
Ariel: Dang-a-ding-dong dead.
Sasha: My number 3 are my Reavers. The hero moves over here on the ship deck and these others move closer to your orcs.
Ariel: My last wingy guy flies up and attacks Agent Carr for 2 skulls.
Sasha: He takes a wound.
Heddy: My number 3 is this Lurker way the heck over here where he started the game out. He Lurks his way over as fast as he can.
Ariel: So ... I guess it's order marker time? Only all I've got left are 4 orcs and a wingman, and you guys have all those people left. I think I kinda ought to give up. Especially since it's getting late.
Sasha: It's 10:00 on a Saturday.
Ariel: Oh my gosh, it's already 10:00? No wonder I'm so tired. Yeah, I definitely give, guys.
Sasha: Now I feel kind of bad about pressuring you into letting us use those other order markers.
Ariel: It's okay. I think I lost more from doing dumb stuff like flying my big boss down where you could all swarm him and also missing like 6 or 7 times I could have put out my other 4 Kraken tentacles. But it was fun anyway!
Heddy: Thank you for inviting me, Ariel. And thank you for being on my team, Sash.
Sasha: Pff, sure. But you know everybody is Team Heddy around here since you showed up.
Heddy: I know. But it's still so nice to be able to tell you how much I appreciate you.
Ariel: Yay! Group hug!
Sasha and Heddy and Ariel: (hug!)
Ariel: Next time I swear I'm going to beat you guys, though.