Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Castle Rat! (Again!)

Sasha: Okay, just so you know, the more I thought about it, the more I felt kinda ripped off about yesterday's blog session.
Ariel: Oh, jeez, sorry. Was it something I did?
Sasha: More like something we didn't. I mean, other than saying they were awesome, we honestly didn't say squat about Castle Rat, right?
Ariel: Oh yeah, that's right. I think maybe I got kinda tired from all the arguing.
Sasha: I haven't noticed that stopping you before.
Ariel: Sure, but I don't usually win so totally and completely dominatingly big of a win. It takes a lot out of you!
Sasha: Uh ... putting aside whether you really won that big --
Ariel: Whew! Yes, let's put it aside, because if you tried to argue I didn't, I don't know if I'd have the energy to win two in a row that big.
Sasha: Whatever. Anyway, let's just go ahead and tell everybody to put on their spoiler blankets so there's no repeat of yesterday.
Ariel: Sure. Watch out, everybody! I guess this means Sash is going to try really hard to spoil how awesome of an album that Castle Rat album is.
Sasha: I'm not, but I am going to try to actually talk about the album and the songs instead of ditching out on it like we did last time.
Ariel: Super! Take it away.
Sasha: First off, I've gotta say, I love drumming.
Ariel: Well, sure, everybody knows that. But that's not saying anything about this album.
Sasha: That's ... I mean, we don't know that everybody knows that, and I was saying it as a lead-in to talking about the drums on this album.
Ariel: Do I need to tell everybody I really love guitars, then?
Sasha: I guess you can, but you don't have --
Ariel: Everybody, I've gotta say, I love guitars.
Sasha: No, I was just trying to say you didn't have to say that.
Ariel: Oh. Oops, too late.
Sasha: Can I go back to talking about the drums?
Ariel: You weren't done?
Sasha: I wasn't even started!
Ariel: Well then, kinda, no? You can't go back to something if you didn't even start it.
Sasha: DRUMS.
Ariel: Ow! My ears!
Sasha: So what I was trying to say was, this album is what they call Doom Metal, and that means it's got these massive, pounding drums on almost every song. Which I absolutely loved.
Ariel: Well, I loved it to but next time I'm not sure I'm going to be able to because now I've got this ringing in my ears from you yelling "Drums!" right into them.
Sasha: Oh, come on. I wasn't that loud. We've had the volume up way louder than that several of the times we listened to this album.
Ariel: Yeah, but it wasn't a big surprise like that was. I had time to tell my ears, "Okay, ears, it's gonna get loud pretty soon." And then the first song on the album actually even starts off really quiet. But I totally wasn't ready for you to yell like that.
Sasha: Fine. I apologize. Anyway, most of the music we've been listening to lately has had really fast, complicated drums where the drummers are kinda going top speed crazy almost the whole song every song, and even though the Castle Rat drummer --
Ariel: He's called The Druid.
Sasha: --right, even though The Druid --
Ariel: Which, I didn't know that druids were supposed to have one eye a different color from the other eye like he does. It's kinda freaky. In a cool way.
Sasha: I'm pretty sure it's contact lenses, but --
Ariel: What! That's cheating, isn't it?
Sasha: Aer's, the guy's not really a druid.
Ariel: He's not? OMG, is he even a drummer then?
Sasha: Yes! He's a really good drummer, and I was trying to say that even though some of his drum parts get pretty fast and complicated, a lot of the time he's just smashing the heck out of those drums with these full power, mind-blowing, super-heavy beats.
Ariel: Well, I was gonna talk about how their guitarist is a super-cool vampire dude who can totally shred, only now I guess he's not really a vampire either?
Sasha: Aers ... you didn't seriously think these people were real vampires and druids and plague doctors and barbarians, did you?
Ariel: Shh!
Sasha: What?
Ariel: Ugh. Okay, SUPER-DUPER-EXTRA-FOR-REAL-SPOILER-BLANKET WARNING JUST FOR THE ACTUAL BAND MEMBERS OF CASTLE RAT!!! Please don't read this next part if you're in the band! Seriously!
Sasha: ...
Ariel: Do you think they're still reading?
Sasha: I don't think there was more than a microbe's dandruff-flake's worth of a chance they were ever reading in the first place, so, no, I don't think they're still reading.
Ariel: okay, so, the thing is ...
Sasha: Why are you typing in that ridiculously small font?
Ariel: sshhh! i'm being quiet so they don't hear!
Sasha: OMG, Aers, they are not reading this, and even if they were, they could just zoom their browser in to read whatever you're typing without even squinting.
Ariel: Sheesh. Fine. So, the deal is, I just thought they would get a kick out of someone actually thinking they're really real druids and barbarians and whatever. Like, wouldn't that be awesome if you were in a band, and you were pretending to be these things, and somebody was not just going on and on about how great a band you are, but also they totally bought the idea that you're vampires and stuff?
Sasha: No, that wouldn't be awesome. I would be seriously worried about that person. Who would really believe that?
Ariel: You're really being no fun about this. Look at all the work they put into those costumes and their backstories! And you're just going to act like, "I totally see through all that. What a bunch of fakes."
Sasha: No, I'm going to act like they're an awesome band with a kick-ass stage presentation and terrific songs with cool-ass lyrics about wizards and wolves and mythological beasts and stuff. I'm pretty sure they're perfectly happy with people just showing up and clapping and cheering and wearing concert t-shirts with their name on them.
Ariel: Whatever. OKAY, CASTLE RAT, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SPOILER BLANKETS BACK OFF NOW. SASH IS DONE RUINING EVERYTHING.
Sasha: Aers, they are so not reading. And if they were reading and they paid attention to your spoiler blanket warning, then they're not reading now to read your announcement that they can take their spoiler blankets off.
Ariel: OR maybe they ARE reading, and they're nice people like me who are willing to go along with some make-believe stuff and pretend they paid attention to the spoiler blanket warning and then pretend they only just started reading again after I said they could.
Sasha: Castle Rat people ... if you're actually for real reading this, please, please, please do not leave a comment or I am never going to hear the end of it from this chica loca.
Ariel: I can put that in the Google translatey website and find out what you just called me, you know.
Sasha: You could if you weren't too lazy to do it. Now, what is your favorite song on this album?
Ariel: Oh, jeez, that's a hard one.
Sasha: (That's what she said.)
Ariel: HEY! That's my joke! You always complain when I say that!
Sasha: I was just trying to get a rise out of you. And I pulled it off really well, too.
Ariel: ...
Sasha: Readers, you should see how hard she's biting her tongue right now.
Ariel: ...
Sasha: Come on, you know you want to.
Ariel: ARRGH! That'swhatshesaid!
Sasha: So, let's go: what's your favorite song from The Bestiary?
Ariel: I don't know. Maybe the snake one? It's either the snake one or the dragon one. Or maybe the unicorn one. No, probably not the unicorn one because then I'm listening to it and bobbing my head to the beat and the beat is like, "Ha-ha, you thought there were supposed to be six head bobs there only there were just five!" And then I'm off by one head bob and by the time I get back on and it's six head bobs in a row a gain, there's another spot where there's just five and I'm so confused.
Sasha: So basically, your favorite song is any of the songs about the different creatures except the unicorn?
Ariel: One of those. Or maybe the one about the caves. Or the one about the wizard. The one about the wizard has that great part where she goes, "Something something something, something something ... goes on, and on, and ONNNNNNNNNNN!" That's a pretty awesome part.
Sasha: Yeah, I like that one too.
Ariel: So is that your favorite song?
Sasha: No, I don't think I have a favorite song on this album. They're all so good.
Ariel: What!!! Then why did you make me do all that work figuring my favorite one out?
Sasha: All what work? And you didn't figure anything out, except it's not the unicorn song.
Ariel: It's also not the Summoning Spell one or the one about the sun. I just remembered those as being ones I don't really remember all that well, so obviously they're not my favorite. Oh, wait, and what's this Path of Moss one? Now I'm looking at the list of songs and I don't even think that's a real song on the album. Path of Moss? What?
Sasha: It's an instrumental. That's the one that's all acoustic guitars, maybe? To be honest, I don't remember it all that well either because there are no words. I did like it though -- I like everything on this album. It's great.
Ariel: That's true. Well, are we done?
Sasha: I thought you were going to talk about the guitars?
Ariel: Oh, JEEPERS, that's right! How did you almost let me forget that?
Sasha: I didn't. I totally reminded you just now.
Ariel: Only barely in time before we were done!
Sasha: Well are you going to talk about them or not?
Ariel: Definitely! Although maybe just to say that I love how they're mostly all super-growly crunch-crunch-crunchy except every once in a while there's only just acoustic ones playing really soft and pretty-like and every another once in a while there's a spot where everything speeds up and there's a super-fast guitar solo. That's the best.
Sasha: Which one is the best? The crunch-crunch-crunchy parts or the acoustic parts or the super-fast guitar solo parts?
Ariel: Why do you keep asking all these hard questions today?
Sasha: I feel like it's kind of my job.
Ariel: Must be nice to have a job where you make somebody else do all the work.
Sasha: It is. Plus, it comes with great benefits.
Ariel: Like what?
Sasha: You know. Benefits. The kind it comes with.
Ariel: The kind it ... ohhhhh.
Sasha and Ariel: Goodnight, everybody!

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Castle Rat!

Ariel: Wow, we almost made such a big mistake!
Sasha: What's that?
Ariel: Well, you know that movie we watched today?
Sasha: Yeah? I mean, we already watched it, and I didn't think it was great, but even if it was a mistake I don't know if it was a big one, and we definitely didn't "almost" make it, we actually did make it.
Ariel: No, I mean, when you pointed out we hadn't Experience blogged in a while, I thought, oh, well, obviously we just watched that movie, so it would make sense to blog it here. Only then when I sat down to get things ready for us to blog, I wasn't immediately feeling it, so I looked at some Youtube videos and I remembered, whoa, we haven't blogged about Castle Rat since we discovered them! So now we're going to blog about Castle Rat instead of making the mistake of blogging about that movie we watched, which probably would have turned into a bunch of gripe-ity-griping about it instead of blogging in a fun way.
Sasha: Okay ... but how was that a mistake we almost made when you didn't even ask me if I wanted to blog about that movie?
Ariel: Sash. If I would of said we should blog about that movie, what do you think you would of have said?
Sasha: I would have said don't let Hettie catch you saying "would of said." 
Ariel: Gotcha!
Sasha: Um ... how, exactly?
Ariel: One of two things always happens when we're blogging. Either we both super-totally like the thing we're blogging about and just jump right in about how good it is --
Sasha: After we tell people to put on the spoiler blankets.
Ariel: Yes! You keep proving my point.
Sasha: Okay, go ahead and explain and I'll stop interrupting.
Ariel: Or the other thing that might happen is, you nitpick something I say and then we spend half the time arguing about whatever it is instead of blogging about the thing we're supposed to be blogging about.
Sasha: You make it sound like I'm always the one being a pain about stuff and starting arguments.
Ariel: No I didn't! I said that was one of the two things that happens. The other thing is us jumping right into talking about liking something.
Sasha: I mean you made it sound like when we do argue, it's always me starting it.
Ariel: Isn't it?
Sasha: Why don't you scroll back through a few posts and check out whether that's the pattern.
Ariel: Gotcha again!
Sasha: I am so not getting it.
Ariel: You were setting up another argument by telling me to do something that was going to be a lot of work so I would say, "That sounds like a lot of work" and you could tell me how lazy I was being and then we'd argue about whether I'm lazy or not.
Sasha: Or I was giving you the opportunity to show you weren't lazy by doing the thing I suggested doing.
Ariel: Don't pretend we don't both know how that was going to turn out.
Sasha: Fine. But I'm completely lost now.
Ariel: About what?
Sasha: Argh! About why you said "we" almost made a big mistake when I hadn't done anything yet.
Ariel: Oh, because if I'd of said, "Let's blog about that movie," then either you'd of started an argument about it or else we'd of both started complaining about the movie --
Sasha: After telling people to put their spoiler blankets on.
Ariel: -- and either one of those would have been a big mistake, because the whole post would of been us both arguing or complaining.
Sasha: Are you deliberately trying to provoke me into correcting you about saying "would of" instead of "would have"?
Ariel: No, I'm just showing you how when I make mistakes, they're little mistakes, but when we make mistakes together, sometimes they end up being big mistakes.
Sasha: Well, congratulations, then. Or actually, double congratulations.
Ariel: Woohoo! Thanks! Wait, what are you congratulating me about?
Sasha: Not only did you make me understand what the heck you were trying to say, but you also proved we almost made a big mistake -- because we actually did make a big mistake and end up wasting everybody's time arguing for half the post. Which means that at the point you said we "almost" made a big mistake, it was only a little bit in the future that we actually were going to make a big mistate, so at that point it was true that we had "almost" made a big mistake.
Ariel: Okay, wait ... are you saying I win or not?
Sasha: I'm definitely not saying you win.
Ariel: You think you won that one, then? Because it didn't seem like that to me.
Sasha: I think everybody lost that one, Aers. You, me, the readers, maybe some of our yams if they had the bad luck to be listening to this ... everybody.
Ariel: Oh. Well geez, you don't have to go and make me feel all bad about it. If you were gonna do that, we could of just talked about the movie and felt bad about the fact we wasted two and a half hours watching it.
Sasha: Could have. Could have.
Ariel: Look, if I could of said "could have" I would of said "could have," don't you think?
Sasha: I think we need to start blogging about something instead of just keeping this up. Do you want to blog about Castle Rat, or about the movie?
Ariel: Duh-uh. Castle Rat like I said at the very start. Also because we don't need to tell people to put their spoiler blankets on because I don't think we could really say anything that's going to spoil what an awesome band this is.
Sasha: That's pretty high praise. Go on.
Ariel: I mean, look at this album cover!

Ariel: It's a barbarian chick with a cool-ass hairdo and a sword riding a unicorn!
Sasha: Sure. And there's a wizard in the background casting a spell or something.
Ariel: Ooh! I didn't even notice him because I was too busy looking at the pretty unicorn and the hot barbarian chick. I mean, she's got chainmail on her boobs and everything.
Sasha: I don't know how great the chainmail-on-the-boobs bit is, considering there's like, snow on the ground around her. Seems like she'd get awfully cold awfully quick.
Ariel: I think she's too hot for that. Also, if you listen to the music, she's too busy ROCKING OUT to get cold.
Sasha: Now that, I'll agree with. This album does pretty seriously rock. Should we tell people what kind of music it is?
Ariel: No, because first off, we already said it was rock, and second off, if we tell them anything more about that, we'll have to tell them to put on spoiler blankets, which we already said we weren't going to do. So instead they should just click this link to go ahead and watch their newest video.

Sasha: Okay ... but now I feel like you kind of sewed the whole post up because we can't say anything more about the music without warning people to put their spoiler blankets on.
Ariel: Sure we can. They just watched the video, so now we're not spoiling anything if we talk about it.
Sasha: But maybe they just scrolled down and didn't watch the video.
Ariel: What! They wouldn't!
Sasha: I mean, plenty of them might.
Ariel: Dang. I guess that's true. Which means I guess you're right, and we're done with this post, since we already said we weren't going to do a spoiler blanket announcement.
Sasha: I feel like you've trapped me into not being able to say that was a trick to wrap things up without doing any more work and also get you off the hook from being called lazy.
Ariel: Well, I couldn't of created such an evil genius plan without working really hard at it, so if you're right, it proves I'm not being lazy, and if you're wrong, that still proves I'm not being lazy.
Sasha: Okay, I surrender. Can we ride a unicorn off into the sunset now, or something?
Ariel: Sure! You have to ride in the front, though, because I don't want your cold chainmail boob-armor making my back all brrr while we're riding.
Sasha: Fine.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!