Sasha and Ariel Experience ... Some More of the Marvels, Part Four!

Sasha: Okay, let's do this thing!
Ariel: What thing? Hit the "publish" button before we're ready?
Sasha: Are you still mad about that from last time?

Ariel: Maybe.

Sasha: Well, feel free to grab the mouse and click the button to get me back, then.

Ariel: No, I'm going to be the bigger person.

Sasha: Ouch. You don't have to get personal about it. That was very heightist of you.

Ariel: Oh, no, I didn't mean it that way!

Sasha: You didn't, huh? Don't think I don't notice how you're literally always looking down on me when we're blogging.

Ariel: No I'm not!

Sasha: Are so. You're doing it right now, in fact. Look how you're tipping your head down to point your eyes at me!

Ariel: No, I ... I mean, yes, but only because I'm a little taller than you, and --

Sasha: Great, just keep rubbing it in.

Ariel: I'm not! I ... wait a minute, are you teasing me to stop me from being mad?

Sasha: Super. Now you're calling me manipulative too.

Ariel: ...

Sasha: Haha, okay, take two -- let's do this thing!

Ariel: (grumble)

Sasha: If I remember your big list from last time, first up is Hammertime Guy: Lights Out, right?

Ariel: (crosses arms) No. First we tell everybody to put their spoiler blankets over their heads.

Sasha: Sure. Everybody put your spoiler blankets over your heads, 'cause we're about to spoil us some spoilage, big time. Now, after watching this movie, I don't know why our boyfriend says it gets a bad rap from a lot of people.

Ariel: He probably says so because it gets a bad rap from a lot of people. I mean, why would he just make that kind of thing up?

Sasha: No, I mean I don't know why it would get a bad rap from a lot of people. I liked it!

Ariel: Well, sometimes people suck. Maybe you've noticed.

Sasha: Okay, obviously it's time for a tickle break.

Ariel: What? No!

Sasha: Yes, tickle break!!!

Ariel: Stop! Aah! Ahaha -- eeh! Quit it!

...

...

...

Sasha: So ... all better? Are you over being mad at me?

Ariel: Uhh ... I was mad at you? Oh, right ... I guess it's okay now ...

Sasha: Good. Straighten your shirt, girl, or you're going to be distracting me the whole rest of this post.

Ariel: Is this better?

Sasha: Peachy keen! Ready to get back to Hammertime Guy: Lights Out?

Ariel: Yeah ... it was good! I always like watching Senator Wardrobe from Star Wars, and also I liked seeing that hilarious intern chick more. She's hilarious. And it was even better when she came back in LongDivision!

Sasha: Whoa, we've got so many movies to get through before we talk about LongDivision!

Ariel: Sorry, I just really think she's funny.

Sasha: No argument there. What was your fave part of this movie, though?

Ariel: I think the part where they found the space warp thingabob and were dropping stuff in it to watch it fall and disappear and then reappear. I mean, hunky Hammertime Guy wasn't there, but it was a wacky, funny scene anyhow.

Sasha: Definitely. Also, I liked how Wicked Horny Bro was back to being an interesting character again.

Ariel: I know, right? In the first Hammertime Guy movie, he was like, "Look at me! I'm kind of funny and fun and also kind of a dick ... I'm complex that way!" Then in Everybody at Once, he was like, "Maybe I'll just go all dick, all the time. Worth a try, right?" Then in this one, he's like, "Still kind of into my being-a-dick jam, but maybe I'll try some learning-a-lesson-the-hard-way and then some doing-the-right-thing and going-out-big, just for kicks."

Sasha: Way better story choices. Now, how about the next movie, Captain I'm-Extra-Nice: Frigid Friend Zone? And why are we calling it that?

Ariel: Well, we called the first one of these movies Nerdlicious Nazi-Stomper, but there aren't nearly as many Nazis in this one and also he's not nerdy anywhere in this one, so I figured we needed a new name for him.

Sasha: Cool cool.

Ariel: Exactly! That's what the second part of the title is for -- this movie was way cool. Plus, Cap's buddy from the first movie got dropped into ice, and then fought in the whole Cold War thing, and then also there's that nurse who lives across the hall from Steve who he sort of asks out and then she sort of friend-zones him. Oh, plus Eyepatch Badass deliberately makes all his friends think he's dead, which made me go, "Whoa, that's cold" when I found out he wasn't.

Sasha: You really thought about that title a lot, didn't you?

Ariel: Sort of. You know when it came to me?

Sasha: No, when?

Ariel: When I was chillin'.

Sasha: Uh-huh. Back to the movie, then ...

Ariel: What an exciting movie! Captain I'm-Extra-Nice was awesome, Assassin Gal was awesome, Cap's new wingy-dingy friend was awesome, there was an awesome fight in an elevator and several awesome car chases and just generally a lot of awesomeness.

Sasha: I agree. Also in the dialogue, like when Assassin Gal tells him, "You may be in the wrong line of work," and then later he tells her the same thing.

Ariel: Lots of saying the right thing at just the right moment in this movie! "I'm with you to the end of the line."

Sasha: Yeah, good times. What's up next?

Ariel: I am Groot!

Sasha: Okay, no. I see where this is going, and can we just not?

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: What ... what are these? Note cards?

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: You wrote me note cards to translate all your "I am Groots" for us to use through talking about two whole movies?

Ariel: I am Groot!

Sasha: Fine. Whatever. So what did we think about this movie?

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: "Yes, I agree that it was really funny, especially Tree Dude and Sassy Trash Panda." Aers, I don't know if this is going to work. I mean, I do agree with that, but what if I didn't? 

Ariel: I am Groot!

Sasha: No, stop pointing at the cards! Seriously, I want to be able to give my own opinion about the movie.

Ariel: I. Am. Groot.

Sasha: Ugh. Fine, the next card says ... "Yeah, I guess this will all go easier if I just read the cards."

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: "But I don't want to just read the cards, I --" Wait a minute, did you write a whole argument for us to have about reading the cards on the cards?

Ariel: I am Groot?

Sasha: "What do you mean, 'Maybe?' Look at these things, it's just card after card of me saying both sides of a stupid argument! Why would I want to do this?"

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: "Oh my god, do you really think I'm that predictable? It's actually kind of insulting. Here, take these things back."

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: "Come on. What, now you're going to pretend to be all sad?"

Ariel: I ... am Groot ...

Sasha: "Well, it's not going to work. You know why? Because I'm the meanest girlfriend on the planet, and now I'm just going to hit the 'publish' button."

Ariel: I am --

Sasha: "See you next time, folks!" Oh no you don't -- give me that mouse! Get your hand away from the keyboard! You set this whole thing up just to make me look terrible, didn't you?

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: What? There aren't even any more cards! Oh, one more in your pocket, huh? And what if I refuse to read it?

Ariel: I am Groot.

Sasha: Sigh. "Everyone, I am very very sorry for stopping our last post before Ariel was ready. I hope it wasn't too disappointing for all the people who were really looking forward to reading about our experience of those movies and then not getting anything to read but a big list of doofy titles. I promise I'll never do that again." I do not promise that!

Ariel: I know. But at least maybe you'll think twice about it next time.

Sasha: Okay, okay. So are we done for today?

Ariel: Unless you want me to write up some more cards!

Sasha: Absolutely not.

Ariel: We can be done-sies then. Bye, everybody!

Sasha: Bye, everybody ... sheesh.