Monday, September 7, 2026

Ariel and Sasha Experience ... Castle Rat!

Ariel: Wow, we almost made such a big mistake!
Sasha: What's that?
Ariel: Well, you know that movie we watched today?
Sasha: Yeah? I mean, we already watched it, and I didn't think it was great, but even if it was a mistake I don't know if it was a big one, and we definitely didn't "almost" make it, we actually did make it.
Ariel: No, I mean, when you pointed out we hadn't Experience blogged in a while, I thought, oh, well, obviously we just watched that movie, so it would make sense to blog it here. Only then when I sat down to get things ready for us to blog, I wasn't immediately feeling it, so I looked at some Youtube videos and I remembered, whoa, we haven't blogged about Castle Rat since we discovered them! So now we're going to blog about Castle Rat instead of making the mistake of blogging about that movie we watched, which probably would have turned into a bunch of gripe-ity-griping about it instead of blogging in a fun way.
Sasha: Okay ... but how was that a mistake we almost made when you didn't even ask me if I wanted to blog about that movie?
Ariel: Sash. If I would of said we should blog about that movie, what do you think you would of have said?
Sasha: I would have said don't let Hettie catch you saying "would of said." 
Ariel: Gotcha!
Sasha: Um ... how, exactly?
Ariel: One of two things always happens when we're blogging. Either we both super-totally like the thing we're blogging about and just jump right in about how good it is --
Sasha: After we tell people to put on the spoiler blankets.
Ariel: Yes! You keep proving my point.
Sasha: Okay, go ahead and explain and I'll stop interrupting.
Ariel: Or the other thing that might happen is, you nitpick something I say and then we spend half the time arguing about whatever it is instead of blogging about the thing we're supposed to be blogging about.
Sasha: You make it sound like I'm always the one being a pain about stuff and starting arguments.
Ariel: No I didn't! I said that was one of the two things that happens. The other thing is us jumping right into talking about liking something.
Sasha: I mean you made it sound like when we do argue, it's always me starting it.
Ariel: Isn't it?
Sasha: Why don't you scroll back through a few posts and check out whether that's the pattern.
Ariel: Gotcha again!
Sasha: I am so not getting it.
Ariel: You were setting up another argument by telling me to do something that was going to be a lot of work so I would say, "That sounds like a lot of work" and you could tell me how lazy I was being and then we'd argue about whether I'm lazy or not.
Sasha: Or I was giving you the opportunity to show you weren't lazy by doing the thing I suggested doing.
Ariel: Don't pretend we don't both know how that was going to turn out.
Sasha: Fine. But I'm completely lost now.
Ariel: About what?
Sasha: Argh! About why you said "we" almost made a big mistake when I hadn't done anything yet.
Ariel: Oh, because if I'd of said, "Let's blog about that movie," then either you'd of started an argument about it or else we'd of both started complaining about the movie --
Sasha: After telling people to put their spoiler blankets on.
Ariel: -- and either one of those would have been a big mistake, because the whole post would of been us both arguing or complaining.
Sasha: Are you deliberately trying to provoke me into correcting you about saying "would of" instead of "would have"?
Ariel: No, I'm just showing you how when I make mistakes, they're little mistakes, but when we make mistakes together, sometimes they end up being big mistakes.
Sasha: Well, congratulations, then. Or actually, double congratulations.
Ariel: Woohoo! Thanks! Wait, what are you congratulating me about?
Sasha: Not only did you make me understand what the heck you were trying to say, but you also proved we almost made a big mistake -- because we actually did make a big mistake and end up wasting everybody's time arguing for half the post. Which means that at the point you said we "almost" made a big mistake, it was only a little bit in the future that we actually were going to make a big mistate, so at that point it was true that we had "almost" made a big mistake.
Ariel: Okay, wait ... are you saying I win or not?
Sasha: I'm definitely not saying you win.
Ariel: You think you won that one, then? Because it didn't seem like that to me.
Sasha: I think everybody lost that one, Aers. You, me, the readers, maybe some of our yams if they had the bad luck to be listening to this ... everybody.
Ariel: Oh. Well geez, you don't have to go and make me feel all bad about it. If you were gonna do that, we could of just talked about the movie and felt bad about the fact we wasted two and a half hours watching it.
Sasha: Could have. Could have.
Ariel: Look, if I could of said "could have" I would of said "could have," don't you think?
Sasha: I think we need to start blogging about something instead of just keeping this up. Do you want to blog about Castle Rat, or about the movie?
Ariel: Duh-uh. Castle Rat like I said at the very start. Also because we don't need to tell people to put their spoiler blankets on because I don't think we could really say anything that's going to spoil what an awesome band this is.
Sasha: That's pretty high praise. Go on.
Ariel: I mean, look at this album cover!


Ariel: It's a barbarian chick with a cool-ass hairdo and a sword riding a unicorn!
Sasha: Sure. And there's a wizard in the background casting a spell or something.
Ariel: Ooh! I didn't even notice him because I was too busy looking at the pretty unicorn and the hot barbarian chick. I mean, she's got chainmail on her boobs and everything.
Sasha: I don't know how great the chainmail-on-the-boobs bit is, considering there's like, snow on the ground around her. Seems like she'd get awfully cold awfully quick.
Ariel: I think she's too hot for that. Also, if you listen to the music, she's too busy ROCKING OUT to get cold.
Sasha: Now that, I'll agree with. This album does pretty seriously rock. Should we tell people what kind of music it is?
Ariel: No, because first off, we already said it was rock, and second off, if we tell them anything more about that, we'll have to tell them to put on spoiler blankets, which we already said we weren't going to do. So instead they should just click this link to go ahead and watch their newest video.

Sasha: Okay ... but now I feel like you kind of sewed the whole post up because we can't say anything more about the music without warning people to put their spoiler blankets on.
Ariel: Sure we can. They just watched the video, so now we're not spoiling anything if we talk about it.
Sasha: But maybe they just scrolled down and didn't watch the video.
Ariel: What! They wouldn't!
Sasha: I mean, plenty of them might.
Ariel: Dang. I guess that's true. Which means I guess you're right, and we're done with this post, since we already said we weren't going to do a spoiler blanket announcement.
Sasha: I feel like you've trapped me into not being able to say that was a trick to wrap things up without doing any more work and also get you off the hook from being called lazy.
Ariel: Well, I couldn't of created such an evil genius plan without working really hard at it, so if you're right, it proves I'm not being lazy, and if you're wrong, that still proves I'm not being lazy.
Sasha: Okay, I surrender. Can we ride a unicorn off into the sunset now, or something?
Ariel: Sure! You have to ride in the front, though, because I don't want your cold chainmail boob-armor making my back all brrr while we're riding.
Sasha: Fine.
Ariel and Sasha: Goodnight, everybody!

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